Day 1: Letter to Your Best Friend
Four because I can. Also uncut. Because I can. I'm putting spaces for the letters so the two people who might actually read this will know which ones are theirs if they're lame and can't tell.
Dear _ _ _ _ _,
I really do love you. You've always stuck by me and even though I've had ups and downs with Valencia and Amber, our friendship has always stayed solid. I'm sorry that I don't do more. I'm sorry that I can't talk to IRL friends online. I'm sorry that I can't totally fix you, although I'll keep trying. I guess I'll keep trying to do all of that. It really hurts me to see how you feel about and treat yourself. I want to make this letter longer and go on and on, but it's nothing I haven't told you yet. Also, it is ON for Monday.
Dear _ _ _ _ _ _,
I'm a little sad that you're a whore now, but I'm glad that it isn't defining all of who you are. I kind of hope you'll stop and at the same time, I kind of know you won't. I guess a positive from all of this is that you've started feeling more confident. But no matter how many dudes you sleep with or how many STDs you get, I'll still love you. I might stop loving you as much if you become a bitchy ho, but so far you seem to be staying away from that path. this was a horrible letter. But really, I always know I can count on you and you make going to Georgia fun and amazing and beyond description, even in July when the bugs are the size of your head.
Dear _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _,
Your name is SO LONG. Still, I don't know if I'm allowed to call you a best friend due to the whole... absentee friend period. Let's call it that. It will be AFP for short. Anyway, I basically completely forgot about you during the AFP, but reconnecting recently has really reminded me of why we became friends in the first place. You're SO DIFFICULT sometimes and you're incredibly stubborn. You're irrational and sometimes I don't even know how to talk to you because it seems like the answer should be SO OBVIOUS and I don't know how to state it so that you'll see it and I really just feel like screaming into a pillow. Despite all of this, you make me smile. You're sweet and neurotic, and I love you even when I want to groan and roll over and pretend you aren't there. Man, I just suck at writing nice letters today, don't I? I think I need a redo day. Yeah. Let's do that.
Dear _ _ _ _ _,
YOU HAVE THE SAME NUMBER OF LETTERS AS ANOTHER PERSON. However, you are not them. Dat ass. Now you know who you are. I also love you. You are amazing, and even though I'm a crappy friend who tends to be absent for long periods, you never hate me or pretend I'm not there. And did you know it's been almost THREE YEARS that we've known each other? That's crazy. But a lot of the things I said in the first letter also apply to you. You're so beautiful and smart and bright. You carry enough personality to knock out half of New York. That doesn't really make sense, but I felt like making up my own expression. Seriously though, I hope you know how much you're worth and remember not to take any less than that--from anyone, be they a friend or a sig o or a family member. [insert joke about Jon Walker having sex with Jesus or something].
Dear _ _ _ _ _,
I really do love you. You've always stuck by me and even though I've had ups and downs with Valencia and Amber, our friendship has always stayed solid. I'm sorry that I don't do more. I'm sorry that I can't talk to IRL friends online. I'm sorry that I can't totally fix you, although I'll keep trying. I guess I'll keep trying to do all of that. It really hurts me to see how you feel about and treat yourself. I want to make this letter longer and go on and on, but it's nothing I haven't told you yet. Also, it is ON for Monday.
Dear _ _ _ _ _ _,
I'm a little sad that you're a whore now, but I'm glad that it isn't defining all of who you are. I kind of hope you'll stop and at the same time, I kind of know you won't. I guess a positive from all of this is that you've started feeling more confident. But no matter how many dudes you sleep with or how many STDs you get, I'll still love you. I might stop loving you as much if you become a bitchy ho, but so far you seem to be staying away from that path. this was a horrible letter. But really, I always know I can count on you and you make going to Georgia fun and amazing and beyond description, even in July when the bugs are the size of your head.
Dear _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _,
Your name is SO LONG. Still, I don't know if I'm allowed to call you a best friend due to the whole... absentee friend period. Let's call it that. It will be AFP for short. Anyway, I basically completely forgot about you during the AFP, but reconnecting recently has really reminded me of why we became friends in the first place. You're SO DIFFICULT sometimes and you're incredibly stubborn. You're irrational and sometimes I don't even know how to talk to you because it seems like the answer should be SO OBVIOUS and I don't know how to state it so that you'll see it and I really just feel like screaming into a pillow. Despite all of this, you make me smile. You're sweet and neurotic, and I love you even when I want to groan and roll over and pretend you aren't there. Man, I just suck at writing nice letters today, don't I? I think I need a redo day. Yeah. Let's do that.
Dear _ _ _ _ _,
YOU HAVE THE SAME NUMBER OF LETTERS AS ANOTHER PERSON. However, you are not them. Dat ass. Now you know who you are. I also love you. You are amazing, and even though I'm a crappy friend who tends to be absent for long periods, you never hate me or pretend I'm not there. And did you know it's been almost THREE YEARS that we've known each other? That's crazy. But a lot of the things I said in the first letter also apply to you. You're so beautiful and smart and bright. You carry enough personality to knock out half of New York. That doesn't really make sense, but I felt like making up my own expression. Seriously though, I hope you know how much you're worth and remember not to take any less than that--from anyone, be they a friend or a sig o or a family member. [insert joke about Jon Walker having sex with Jesus or something].