(no subject)
So I guess I'll give the one month update on my summer.
I didn't get an internship this summer, which is lending to many hours of boredom. Maybe I waited to long to look, maybe I didn't push hard enough, maybe I didn't look in the right areas. It doesn't matter really now, the past cannot be changed, we learn from our mistakes. Because I'm not doing an internship, I'm just working at the pharmacy again. I wish I was getting more hours, more training, but I understand their position. I might not be there next summer, if all things go well. I'll be doing an internship, preparing for my Masters program, but if not, I'll try to find a job as a draftsman, I don't know where, but I am starting to look down in Florida too, stay with family, until I can get on my own two feet. Who knows what the future will bring. All I know is that I need to be proud of my accomplishments, acknowledge my shortcomings, and not dwell as a failure. It might be a little easier now.
As exciting as this summer has been, I cannot wait for school to start again. I'm tired of not having enough to do. I'm tired of not having people to talk to whenever. I'm tired of dialup. And I'm looking forward to orientation again. Usually it's a time where I can just let myself go, have no inhibitions, and enjoy myself and my life. I'll be meeting all sorts of new people. Maybe I'll meet someone great. Who knows. But I cannot wait until I have my own life again, having fun. I remember how I felt after the NODA conference, after being around hundreds of orientation leaders, just doing orientation things even though we weren't in an orientation. I felt amazing, energetic, alive. I hope that by doing orientation again this year will make me feel alive again.
I read an interesting article in the paper today. Apparently the University of Chicago does a study every year on social, cultural, and political views. The results of the most recent one had stated something I find a little interesting. One of the questions they asked was about confidants. Since 1985, the last time they asked the question, the number of people in America who have a close friend, someone they can trust has gone down to 25% of the public not having someone they trust. The number of people who are close, the number of friends has also gone down to about 2. Which makes me think, I seem to fit into that category. I have now about three. I don't know what's happening with Sarah anymore. But Caitlin, AJ, and Karen have always been there for me. Sarah, I don't know anymore. Maybe she'll be my close friend again in the future.
In regards to that, Sarah and I have had a very messy break up. All I wanted to remain from it was friends, the friends we were before, but closer because of everything that we went through together. The days of not spending time together, not doing little things together were going to be gone. But instead, it looks like space is going to be the only thing between us, she doesn't plan on ever seeing me again, which hurts, but I'm going to have to accept it, I'm going to have to get over it, and I'm going to have to move on and forward. I learned something big out of all of this though. I don't think placing further feelings in an already established and decent friendship is good anymore. It's not worth losing a best friend for love, that's the moral of my story.
So that's the story of my recent life. I'm looking forward to having a good time at the Big Bad Voodoo Daddy concert, I have a weekend in Washington DC to look forward to, and two more months of summer. Let's see if I can make the best of it.
Later all
I didn't get an internship this summer, which is lending to many hours of boredom. Maybe I waited to long to look, maybe I didn't push hard enough, maybe I didn't look in the right areas. It doesn't matter really now, the past cannot be changed, we learn from our mistakes. Because I'm not doing an internship, I'm just working at the pharmacy again. I wish I was getting more hours, more training, but I understand their position. I might not be there next summer, if all things go well. I'll be doing an internship, preparing for my Masters program, but if not, I'll try to find a job as a draftsman, I don't know where, but I am starting to look down in Florida too, stay with family, until I can get on my own two feet. Who knows what the future will bring. All I know is that I need to be proud of my accomplishments, acknowledge my shortcomings, and not dwell as a failure. It might be a little easier now.
As exciting as this summer has been, I cannot wait for school to start again. I'm tired of not having enough to do. I'm tired of not having people to talk to whenever. I'm tired of dialup. And I'm looking forward to orientation again. Usually it's a time where I can just let myself go, have no inhibitions, and enjoy myself and my life. I'll be meeting all sorts of new people. Maybe I'll meet someone great. Who knows. But I cannot wait until I have my own life again, having fun. I remember how I felt after the NODA conference, after being around hundreds of orientation leaders, just doing orientation things even though we weren't in an orientation. I felt amazing, energetic, alive. I hope that by doing orientation again this year will make me feel alive again.
I read an interesting article in the paper today. Apparently the University of Chicago does a study every year on social, cultural, and political views. The results of the most recent one had stated something I find a little interesting. One of the questions they asked was about confidants. Since 1985, the last time they asked the question, the number of people in America who have a close friend, someone they can trust has gone down to 25% of the public not having someone they trust. The number of people who are close, the number of friends has also gone down to about 2. Which makes me think, I seem to fit into that category. I have now about three. I don't know what's happening with Sarah anymore. But Caitlin, AJ, and Karen have always been there for me. Sarah, I don't know anymore. Maybe she'll be my close friend again in the future.
In regards to that, Sarah and I have had a very messy break up. All I wanted to remain from it was friends, the friends we were before, but closer because of everything that we went through together. The days of not spending time together, not doing little things together were going to be gone. But instead, it looks like space is going to be the only thing between us, she doesn't plan on ever seeing me again, which hurts, but I'm going to have to accept it, I'm going to have to get over it, and I'm going to have to move on and forward. I learned something big out of all of this though. I don't think placing further feelings in an already established and decent friendship is good anymore. It's not worth losing a best friend for love, that's the moral of my story.
So that's the story of my recent life. I'm looking forward to having a good time at the Big Bad Voodoo Daddy concert, I have a weekend in Washington DC to look forward to, and two more months of summer. Let's see if I can make the best of it.
Later all