Galgenfrist.
An interesting word, that. Translated quite literally, it's "Gallows duration" but more accurately, it would be "reprieve". Which is what I got. When I went to the exam today, the student right before me rescheduled her exam for September. And when I was told I would have to get 7 out 15 points in the exam to barely pass, I wavered, and asked if I could reschedule too. But not to September, no, that's too far away, I rescheduled to July 20th. Meaning I have to cancel my holiday, but at least I get a second chance. Mind you, an oral botany exam is nothing to jest with, it has broken greater men than me. So I left the institute feeling, well, lost mostly. I kind of felt like I was running away, and I felt disappointed because now I'll have to do the exam on my own, and not with a friend of mine. Said friend texted me and told me that I would've probably made it anyway. Kismet.
So I'm mostly just writing to do something at all, because I'm more than discontent with the situation. It's a heavy, dull feeling, like waking up in a pile of dust with a hangover, but not exactly negative, just...apathetic and a bit fretful. It was the smart thing to do, because failing that exam would've meant that I wasted a whole semester of preparation, not to mention having to wait for a year to do it again, but still. I kind of feel like I fled a battle I could have won, a dishonored samurai sort of feeling, as cheesy and whiny as that may sound.
Well, now I have to face the summer with work undone. I hate it when that happens.
So I'm mostly just writing to do something at all, because I'm more than discontent with the situation. It's a heavy, dull feeling, like waking up in a pile of dust with a hangover, but not exactly negative, just...apathetic and a bit fretful. It was the smart thing to do, because failing that exam would've meant that I wasted a whole semester of preparation, not to mention having to wait for a year to do it again, but still. I kind of feel like I fled a battle I could have won, a dishonored samurai sort of feeling, as cheesy and whiny as that may sound.
Well, now I have to face the summer with work undone. I hate it when that happens.