I can't tell you what it really is. I can only tell you what it feels like.

[jewhawk]

Who? Puck and Quinn
Where? The Lima Bean
When? The day after the accident
What? In which Puck finds comfort in an unlikely place
Rating: PG-13

Comments

[lucyqfabray]

Since the accident, Quinn had been praying. For the well being of those injured and even those who hadn't been. Like Kurt. She couldn't imagine what he must be going through. Before they'd found out who was involved, Quinn had panicked, scared of who it might have been. She'd found herself scared that one certain person had been hurt. The one person she would never admit to having been freaked over. Puck

[jewhawk]

Spotting Quinn across the room, there were still certain feelings that arose when he saw her, ranging from everything from hurt to deep regret to friendship to a level of protective unlike anything else, to love. Despite everything, Quinn would always be the first girl he'd ever truly loved.

He ordered his coffee quickly, and walked over to join her, taking a seat at her table. "Sup?" he asked simply, looking her over. "You okay?"

[lucyqfabray]

Seeing him arrive, Quinn sucked in a breath, watching him over her cup as he ordered his own beverage and made his way over to her. When he sat down, she let out the breath she'd been holding, forcing a smile to her face. The way he could still disarm her was unsettling, but she wasn't about to let him know he had that, or any, power over her.

"I am." She answered quietly, taking another sip of her beverage before setting the cup gently back down on the table. Quinn lifted her hazel eyes to his, concern in them. "Are you?"

[jewhawk]

Puck's dark eyes traced the familiar face, and a rush of memories came flooding back. It wasn't as if he didn't see her pretty regularly, even now. But there was still a part of him that dealt with things when he saw her... Things that he'd convinced himself time and again were old news, nothing to think about, no big deal.

And yet the tone of her voice had him sinking down into the chair across from her, shaking his head. "No... I mean... Yeah, physically, I feel fine... I... I'm worried about Mike, Q... And Blaine. I should've... I..." he shook his head, taking a large gulp of his coffee. "I couldn't stop Mike from getting in the car. He wouldn't fucking listen."

[lucyqfabray]

Quinn's brow furrowed in concern as Puck started to sink down in his chair, that look on his face. He might not even know it, but she knew that look all too well. It was a rare one, but one she'd seen on his face before and seeing it now flooded her with memories of the times she'd witnessed it before. Memories she really didn't want to think about now. Memories she never really liked to deal with or think about.

"That isn't..." Quinn took a deep breath. How the Hell did she end up here, consoling Puck, of all people? "Puck, that's not your fault. You can't blame yourself for that. You tried, right? That's what matters. If Mike chose to ignore you, that isn't..." Taking another breath, she frowned. "I'm not saying that anyone deserved what happened, it was a horrible accident and it wasn't anyone's fault. Least of all yours."

[jewhawk]

Puck watched her quietly, somewhat weirded out by how she still had the power to hold his gaze whether or not he wanted to look away. Setting his coffee down on the table, he listened to her, his eyes weak from exhaustion. "I know I couldn't make him change his mind, but..." He looked at her, feeling a familiar feeling deep inside his gut. "It's..." He glanced around, shaking his head. "There are too many people here... Can we take a walk or something?"

[lucyqfabray]

"Yeah, sure." Quinn replied without even thinking. God, what the Hell was she getting herself into? Why was she giving into him? Why did she care so damn much when she really didn't want to? Because that's just how it was. She fought it so hard, but the truth was, she was powerless to it, to him if she didn't. And right now, he needed her, or just someone and she wanted to be there for him. To be his friend.

Standing up from her chair, Quinn picked her bag up and shouldered it, walking over to throw her mostly empty cup away. As Puck joined her, Quinn smiled up at him a little. "Where do you wanna go?"

[jewhawk]

"I don't know," he answered honestly, polishing off his own coffee before tossing the cup in the trash. "I just can't be here..." He was at a loss for words, honestly, and he just knew that being with Quinn right now made sense.

He should be with his girlfriend, trying to figure things out with her. He was nuts about her. But she was driving him fucking crazy, and Quinn?

Quinn was Quinn. She would always have this hold on him, no matter what. "Let's go to the park, maybe? Is that okay?"

[lucyqfabray]

Quinn nodded in understanding. Going somewhere might do them both some good. At least getting out of the coffee shop would make it to where she didn't have to feel his eyes directly on her so much. She wasn't supposed to be feeling these feelings about him. It always happened when she was around him and probably the biggest reason she was such a bitch to him. It was easier to keep her guard up around Puck than to let herself feel what she felt for him. Not that she would ever admit those particular feelings. She just couldn't.

"The park's fine." She said, giving him a small smile as they exited the coffee shop. She wrapped her arms around herself as they walked, in silence for a few moments. "I haven't been to the park since..." Stopping herself from bringing up the last time she'd been to the park, which was with him, Quinn licked her lips. "Well, it's just been awhile." Rolling her eyes, she took a deep breath. How did he have this power over her still?

[jewhawk]

Puck took a deep breath as he walked out into the hot summer sun, holding the door open for Quinn. He couldn't even begin to start figuring out what to deal with first in reference to the wreck that had happened, and the friends he could've lost. And this bullshit with Lauren wasn't helping matters by any stretch of the imagination.

"Cool," he said, noting her pause, but saying nothing. They walked toward the park in silence, Puck not quite sure what to say to her right now. His hands shoved into his pockets he glanced at her every so often before turning back to the sidewalk in front of him hoping she hadn't noticed.

[lucyqfabray]

There was no ignoring his eyes on her every few seconds, but Quinn was certainly trying to. Ignoring things was what she did best. It was, after all, the Fabray way.

Walking along in silence, Quinn took a deep breath again, this time daring a glance over at Puck. As his eyes met hers, she hastily looked away, her cheeks flushing a little as she did so. Great, that wasn't obvious or anything. She never trusted herself alone with him, yet here she was, heading to the park with him. Alone. And she had a feeling they would end up going to the little secluded area of the park they'd gone to last time they'd been here.

"So..." She started, chewing her bottom lip as they entered the park and she sort of just let him lead the way.

[jewhawk]

Their eyes met, and he tore his away, concentrating on getting to the park, and, as she'd guessed, to the quite spot they'd gone to last time. "Yeah," he replied, spotting the tree that hid the little spot away from the rest of the world, and started off toward it.

Once they were safely out of sight of the passersby, Puck turned to look at her. "Q..." he said softly, surprising even himself at how tender his tone was. "Thanks... For meeting up with me and everything."

[lucyqfabray]

Quinn wrapped her arms around herself as they finally came to a stop in the exact spot she knew he'd go for. It was kind of 'their' spot in a way. They'd been here several times and if Quinn remembered correctly, they'd shared their last kiss there. Just after giving Beth away. Before Quinn couldn't bear to be around him anymore because he was just a reminder. And because she just wanted everything to go back to normal. To the way it was before.

Lifting her hazel eyes to his surprisingly tender gaze, Quinn's lips twitched just so slightly into a soft grin and she nodded. "You seemed like you could use..." She paused, contemplating what she should say here. They weren't really friends, but they weren't enemies either. She wasn't exactly sure what they were. "a friend." She settled on that. It was safe and easy.

[jewhawk]

Puck wasn't sure what the hell he was thinking, but there had always been some kind of magnetism between the two of them, and before he could even think about it, his lips were on hers, his arms wrapping tight around her before he pulled away in shock at his own actions.

"Fuck... Shit, I'm sorry... I didn't... I'm sorry."