So I won't hesitate no more, no more. It cannot wait, I'm sure.
Who: Just rockstarwarbler
What: When clueless comes back and bites you in the ass
Where: Blaine & Cal's room @ Dalton
When: Tuesday night
Episode: Post 2x15 "Sexy"
Rating: PG
Something had shifted, but Blaine just didn't want to analyse what it was. Okay, who the hell was he still trying to kid. Of course he wanted to analyse it and he wanted to act on it. Bottom line was, somewhere in the confused haze, he had fallen for Kurt Hummel, and he had fallen hard. As soon as the subject of sex came up and was on the menu, Blaine realised he had maybe been just a little too eager to visit that with Kurt, and when Kurt threw up the wall, Blaine had stumbled. His own choices had come back to haunt him. For four months now, he thought he was doing the right thing just staying Kurt's friend. There had been feelings he had diluted, and urges he had pushed away. The friends thing worked, until it started to crumble. Jeremiah had been a confusion. Where Blaine though he should be looking rather than thinking too much on the way he felt when Kurt sang Don't Cry for Me Argentina.
Then there was Rachel. Yet another way for Blaine to try and convince himself whatever was happening with Kurt couldn't be that. Blaine always thought when you started dating, it was supposed to be this spectacular and flashy thing like in the movies... the thing with Kurt felt so damn nice and so damn easy, that it couldn't be that, could it?
It was only when Blaine was leaving Hummel Tyres and Lube (he couldn't even think of the word lube innocently right now) with his tail between his legs that the penny dropped abruptly in his brain. He wasn't there to make sure Kurt knew about sex for when he might fool around with 'some guy' at a party in the future. He was there because he was scared and nervous that Kurt would never want to do those things with him, or that he would be so lacking in knowledge on it that Blaine would hurt him. It was selfish and Blaine felt even worse when he realised Kurt's best intentions weren't solely the reason he had approached the Hummel patriarch. He also went away wishing his dad was like Burt, but that was a whole other story.
But now Blaine had made such a big song and dance about everything, and the friends thing, and doing everything in his power to make Kurt think he didn't want him like that. Why the hell would Kurt suddenly just want to change the songbook? He wouldn't. All of Blaine's attempts to keep trying to do the right thing had turned out to be nothing but a big fat horrible wrong thing the whole way along. He should have asked Kurt on a date after his solo audition just like he really wanted to. If only he could wind the clock back.
He had to do something to try and get these thoughts and feelings out of his system. He dragged his Dalton tie off and threw his blazer messily over the end of his bed, a very uncharacteristic action for him. He sat heavily down on the side of the bed and gazed at his and Callum's guitars resting against the wall together as he contemplated whether to try again to talk to Kurt on Facebook, but Kurt was understandably standoffish now. He went over and picked up his guitar, running his hand over the lacquered surface and pulling his lips to the side in thought. He could still sing to Kurt without Kurt needing to know it, right? It would still mean the same thing, but just not something Kurt should see... at least not yet.
After a few moments thought, Blaine went over to his laptop and hit his webcam going to record. He waved at the camera and then exhaled heavily. "Okay, Kurt... this is for you. One day, maybe I'll have the guts to show it to you." And then started recording the new classic 'I'm Yours' and as he started, he knew he meant every single word of it.
"Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks, now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out I'll be giving it my bestest
And nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some
But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours..."
He finished the song then the blew a little kiss to the camera before reaching over to shut it off. Groaning a little to himself and trying not to think about doing a lot of interesting sex things with Kurt, he flopped down into his desk chair and scraped his fingers through his hair. Now what? He had no idea. It was all such a mess because he hadn't had the balls and now it had gone to far that Kurt was actually pushing him away... asking him leave. It was the first time Kurt ever asked him to leave, and Blaine turned his lips down at the thought. Maybe he could just bite the bullet and send the song to Kurt now? It would lay the cards on the table, right? With a few taps of the keyboard, Blaine experimentally opened Outlook and attached the song file with a small smile. It would be so easy. But the risk that Kurt would get pissed off and tell him to go screw himself for messing with his feelings and giving him mixed signals was too high. Blaine just couldn't expect Kurt to about-face just because his own feelings were more clear now. No. He couldn't do it. Things had to keep going how they were... just friends. Harry and Sally all over again.
He reached over to turn his desk lamp on, but accidentally knocked the half-full can of Diet Coke over that he forgot about and left there the night before when he was finishing a French paper. He caught it just before it splashed over his keyboard, but the heel off his wrist banged against the keys and in a moment of absolutely sheer terror where it felt like the world froze, Blaine watched the email message disappear, then the Outbox highlight and then quickly go back to normal. "Oh no... No, no, no, no! NO!" he cried in panic with a whimper, hitting all of the keys in a panic to open his outbox. It was empty. Too empty. So, he moved onto his Sent Items and there it was...
'Kurt Hummel' [No subject] Tue 3/09/11 21:23
Blaine had sent the song sung directly from his heart... directly to Kurt.
What: When clueless comes back and bites you in the ass
Where: Blaine & Cal's room @ Dalton
When: Tuesday night
Episode: Post 2x15 "Sexy"
Rating: PG
Something had shifted, but Blaine just didn't want to analyse what it was. Okay, who the hell was he still trying to kid. Of course he wanted to analyse it and he wanted to act on it. Bottom line was, somewhere in the confused haze, he had fallen for Kurt Hummel, and he had fallen hard. As soon as the subject of sex came up and was on the menu, Blaine realised he had maybe been just a little too eager to visit that with Kurt, and when Kurt threw up the wall, Blaine had stumbled. His own choices had come back to haunt him. For four months now, he thought he was doing the right thing just staying Kurt's friend. There had been feelings he had diluted, and urges he had pushed away. The friends thing worked, until it started to crumble. Jeremiah had been a confusion. Where Blaine though he should be looking rather than thinking too much on the way he felt when Kurt sang Don't Cry for Me Argentina.
Then there was Rachel. Yet another way for Blaine to try and convince himself whatever was happening with Kurt couldn't be that. Blaine always thought when you started dating, it was supposed to be this spectacular and flashy thing like in the movies... the thing with Kurt felt so damn nice and so damn easy, that it couldn't be that, could it?
It was only when Blaine was leaving Hummel Tyres and Lube (he couldn't even think of the word lube innocently right now) with his tail between his legs that the penny dropped abruptly in his brain. He wasn't there to make sure Kurt knew about sex for when he might fool around with 'some guy' at a party in the future. He was there because he was scared and nervous that Kurt would never want to do those things with him, or that he would be so lacking in knowledge on it that Blaine would hurt him. It was selfish and Blaine felt even worse when he realised Kurt's best intentions weren't solely the reason he had approached the Hummel patriarch. He also went away wishing his dad was like Burt, but that was a whole other story.
But now Blaine had made such a big song and dance about everything, and the friends thing, and doing everything in his power to make Kurt think he didn't want him like that. Why the hell would Kurt suddenly just want to change the songbook? He wouldn't. All of Blaine's attempts to keep trying to do the right thing had turned out to be nothing but a big fat horrible wrong thing the whole way along. He should have asked Kurt on a date after his solo audition just like he really wanted to. If only he could wind the clock back.
He had to do something to try and get these thoughts and feelings out of his system. He dragged his Dalton tie off and threw his blazer messily over the end of his bed, a very uncharacteristic action for him. He sat heavily down on the side of the bed and gazed at his and Callum's guitars resting against the wall together as he contemplated whether to try again to talk to Kurt on Facebook, but Kurt was understandably standoffish now. He went over and picked up his guitar, running his hand over the lacquered surface and pulling his lips to the side in thought. He could still sing to Kurt without Kurt needing to know it, right? It would still mean the same thing, but just not something Kurt should see... at least not yet.
After a few moments thought, Blaine went over to his laptop and hit his webcam going to record. He waved at the camera and then exhaled heavily. "Okay, Kurt... this is for you. One day, maybe I'll have the guts to show it to you." And then started recording the new classic 'I'm Yours' and as he started, he knew he meant every single word of it.
"Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks, now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out I'll be giving it my bestest
And nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some
But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours..."
He finished the song then the blew a little kiss to the camera before reaching over to shut it off. Groaning a little to himself and trying not to think about doing a lot of interesting sex things with Kurt, he flopped down into his desk chair and scraped his fingers through his hair. Now what? He had no idea. It was all such a mess because he hadn't had the balls and now it had gone to far that Kurt was actually pushing him away... asking him leave. It was the first time Kurt ever asked him to leave, and Blaine turned his lips down at the thought. Maybe he could just bite the bullet and send the song to Kurt now? It would lay the cards on the table, right? With a few taps of the keyboard, Blaine experimentally opened Outlook and attached the song file with a small smile. It would be so easy. But the risk that Kurt would get pissed off and tell him to go screw himself for messing with his feelings and giving him mixed signals was too high. Blaine just couldn't expect Kurt to about-face just because his own feelings were more clear now. No. He couldn't do it. Things had to keep going how they were... just friends. Harry and Sally all over again.
He reached over to turn his desk lamp on, but accidentally knocked the half-full can of Diet Coke over that he forgot about and left there the night before when he was finishing a French paper. He caught it just before it splashed over his keyboard, but the heel off his wrist banged against the keys and in a moment of absolutely sheer terror where it felt like the world froze, Blaine watched the email message disappear, then the Outbox highlight and then quickly go back to normal. "Oh no... No, no, no, no! NO!" he cried in panic with a whimper, hitting all of the keys in a panic to open his outbox. It was empty. Too empty. So, he moved onto his Sent Items and there it was...
'Kurt Hummel' [No subject] Tue 3/09/11 21:23
Blaine had sent the song sung directly from his heart... directly to Kurt.