Party Night by ALF (PG)
Title: Party Night
Author: ALF
Pairing: John/Rodney
Rating: PG
Word Count: 527
Warning: Drunk!John-in-a-dress
Disclaimer: Not mine, not for profit
A/N: A silly bit of cracky fluff that I wrote to celebrate the 10th anniversary of posting my first fanfic.
“D’you know, there’s a woman over there wearing off-the-rack?” John slurred, pointing out the woman in question. “You’d never make me wear off-the-rack, would you, Rodney?”
“Oh my god, Sheppard, you’re totally stoned, aren’t you? What the hell have you been drinking?” Rodney tried to check the Colonel’s pupils, while reaching to confiscate his mug of drink and signaling frantically for Ronon and Teyla.
Not surprisingly, he didn’t get too far, John batting his hand away irritably, while pulling the mug closer to his chest with a pout. “Mine!” he insisted, raising the mug to take a sip from it. “Seriously, Rodney,” he then said, “You wouldn’t make me wear off-the-rack, would you?” He smoothed the hand without the mug down his chest, humming as he felt the silk between his fingertips.
Rodney gulped a little as the Colonel preened happily in the hand-made dress - and there really was nothing else to call it - looking around again for Ronon and Teyla. “N-no, Colonel, I wouldn’t make you wear off-the-rack,” he stuttered, deciding to humor Sheppard for now, but promising dire revenge in his head.
“Good,” John declared proudly, his free hand now reaching out to grip Rodney’s biceps. “You always treat me the best, Rodney.”
“Right,” Rodney said, shaking his head forlornly.
“Teyla, Ronon,” John exclaimed in pleasure as the other half of the team joined them. “Don’t you think my dress is nicer than that woman is wearing”? He pointed once more to the woman he’d singled out.
“When did you turn into such a fashion queen anyway?” Rodney murmured on a sigh, as Teyla diplomatically agreed that John’s dress was nicer. Ronon just looked on amused.
“Rodney’s the best boyfriend,” John announced now, loudly and happily.
“Sheppard!” Rodney hissed in shock, glancing around the room.
Teyla laid a hand on his forearm. “It is all right, Rodney,” she soothed him. “The Tanarians do not care about same sex relationships.”
“Yeah, but the American military does,” Rodney said. “It only takes one word in the wrong ear and Sheppard gets booted back to Earth, possibly even jail time.
“Don’t worry, McKay, I won’t let anyone get rid of him,” Ronon said, looming in a way that Rodney thought was meant to be reassuring.
“Right, Conan, like you could do a thing to stop them,” Rodney snapped back, wishing this whole night was just over. John was humming happily to himself, reaching for a fresh mug of drink from a serving tray when Rodney looked round. “Oh, no you don’t, Colonel, you’ve had quite enough for one night.”
John pouted again and Rodney refused to be charmed or cajoled into giving him another drink. “Let’s go back to our rooms,” Ronon suggested.
“Oh yeah,” John agreed, happy once more. “Then I can thank Rodney properly for my fantastic dress.”
Rodney just shook his head, not wanting to know what that would entail, but sure Sheppard would be asleep as soon as he hit the bed. And in the morning, Rodney would be the one who got to deal with a hung-over Colonel, without benefit of caffeine. He really hated his job and the Pegasus Galaxy right now.
The end
Author: ALF
Pairing: John/Rodney
Rating: PG
Word Count: 527
Warning: Drunk!John-in-a-dress
Disclaimer: Not mine, not for profit
A/N: A silly bit of cracky fluff that I wrote to celebrate the 10th anniversary of posting my first fanfic.
“D’you know, there’s a woman over there wearing off-the-rack?” John slurred, pointing out the woman in question. “You’d never make me wear off-the-rack, would you, Rodney?”
“Oh my god, Sheppard, you’re totally stoned, aren’t you? What the hell have you been drinking?” Rodney tried to check the Colonel’s pupils, while reaching to confiscate his mug of drink and signaling frantically for Ronon and Teyla.
Not surprisingly, he didn’t get too far, John batting his hand away irritably, while pulling the mug closer to his chest with a pout. “Mine!” he insisted, raising the mug to take a sip from it. “Seriously, Rodney,” he then said, “You wouldn’t make me wear off-the-rack, would you?” He smoothed the hand without the mug down his chest, humming as he felt the silk between his fingertips.
Rodney gulped a little as the Colonel preened happily in the hand-made dress - and there really was nothing else to call it - looking around again for Ronon and Teyla. “N-no, Colonel, I wouldn’t make you wear off-the-rack,” he stuttered, deciding to humor Sheppard for now, but promising dire revenge in his head.
“Good,” John declared proudly, his free hand now reaching out to grip Rodney’s biceps. “You always treat me the best, Rodney.”
“Right,” Rodney said, shaking his head forlornly.
“Teyla, Ronon,” John exclaimed in pleasure as the other half of the team joined them. “Don’t you think my dress is nicer than that woman is wearing”? He pointed once more to the woman he’d singled out.
“When did you turn into such a fashion queen anyway?” Rodney murmured on a sigh, as Teyla diplomatically agreed that John’s dress was nicer. Ronon just looked on amused.
“Rodney’s the best boyfriend,” John announced now, loudly and happily.
“Sheppard!” Rodney hissed in shock, glancing around the room.
Teyla laid a hand on his forearm. “It is all right, Rodney,” she soothed him. “The Tanarians do not care about same sex relationships.”
“Yeah, but the American military does,” Rodney said. “It only takes one word in the wrong ear and Sheppard gets booted back to Earth, possibly even jail time.
“Don’t worry, McKay, I won’t let anyone get rid of him,” Ronon said, looming in a way that Rodney thought was meant to be reassuring.
“Right, Conan, like you could do a thing to stop them,” Rodney snapped back, wishing this whole night was just over. John was humming happily to himself, reaching for a fresh mug of drink from a serving tray when Rodney looked round. “Oh, no you don’t, Colonel, you’ve had quite enough for one night.”
John pouted again and Rodney refused to be charmed or cajoled into giving him another drink. “Let’s go back to our rooms,” Ronon suggested.
“Oh yeah,” John agreed, happy once more. “Then I can thank Rodney properly for my fantastic dress.”
Rodney just shook his head, not wanting to know what that would entail, but sure Sheppard would be asleep as soon as he hit the bed. And in the morning, Rodney would be the one who got to deal with a hung-over Colonel, without benefit of caffeine. He really hated his job and the Pegasus Galaxy right now.
The end