(no subject)
Title: Jeannie Miller’s Guide to Holiday Romance
Author: Klinoa
Disclaimer: They're not mine, I'm just playing.
Spoilers: A few for The Shrine, plus general ones for Season 5.
Words: 6400ish.
Notes: I am supposed to be sudying for finals right now, and instead I am doing this. Bad me.
Summary: John wants something special for Christmas, and Jeannie plans to see that he gets it.
“Why are you spending Christmas with my sister and her family?”
John blinks at Rodney after he makes this demand. He wonders if it would make more sense were it not what the hell o’clock in the morning and were he not standing half awake in the doorway of his quarters. Probably not he decides, and settles for just blinking some more.
“Well?” Rodney demands shrilly, stomping into John’s room. “Explain yourself!”
“Explain what?” John asks, still mostly asleep.
Rodney waves a piece of paper at him. “This! Explain this!”
“Rodney,” John says warily. “I can’t explain something if I don’t know what it is that I’m supposed to be explaining.”
“This!” Rodney says, waving the paper wildly for emphasis. “This is a printed version of an email that I’ve just received from my sister. It contains such valuable pieces of information as the location of the plane tickets for the trip, a list of acceptable Christmas gifts for everyone, and a reminder to tell YOU to pack warm clothes for the visit! Please explain to me why you’re spending Christmas with my family.”
John gapes at him. “I’m spending Christmas with your family?”
“Apparently!”
“Huh.” John scrubs at his face, but it does no good because when he moves his hand away Rodney is still standing in front of him waving the stupid piece of paper. “Umm, why am I spending Christmas with your family?”
“That’s what I’m here to find out, moron!”
“Hey! There’s no need to be rude.” John says feeling offended. “This is news to me too.”
“What? It is?” Rodney narrows his eyes. “You haven’t been in contact with my sister?”
“Not since the last time she was here. With the whole - you know.” John waves a hand weakly, not wanting bring up the hole Second Childhood issue if he can avoid it. “Why would I be?”
“I don’t know, but why else would she invite you - oh.”
“Rodney?” John does not like it when Rodney uses that tone of voice. That tone of voice generally means that Rodney has done something he knows John would never want him to do, and has just been caught doing it.
“Umm.” Great, now he’s blushing, that’s another bad sign. “There’s a small, I would even go so far as to call it miniscule, but still, a chance that this might in fact be my fault. Possibly. Just a bit. A tiny bit.”
“Rodney.”
“I’m sorry!” Rodney brings up his hands in a defensive position. “It was an accident. I never should have mentioned it to her, but we were discussing the first nanite debacle, and I may have possibly mentioned that you’d had your own adventure on Earth involving Replicators, which in turn may have led to me mentioning why you were on Earth at that point in time.”
“Rodney!” John’s not sure where this conversation is going, but he doubts that he’s going to like it. “What are you talking about?”
Rodney makes a distressed sound somewhere along the line of “Nrgh!” before gasping out, “It’s entirely possible that Jeannie’s aware of your family situation, and has asked you to spend Christmas with us so that you won’t be alone!”
John just stares at him because there is no fucking way that he heard that line correctly.
“I’m sorry!” Rodney yelps again. “I didn’t mean to tell her everything, but after I’d mentioned your father’s funeral the rest of it kind of came out. That’s probably where the invite came from.”
“Rodney.” John finally manages to find his voice. “I am not a goddamned charity case!”
“Oh please, like Jeannie would do something like that.” Rodney snorts. “She likes you, and she probably thinks that she’s doing you a favour. She’s weird like that.” He folds his now much wrinkled piece of paper as neatly as he can and stuffs it in one of his pockets. “I guess we’re spending the holidays together.”
“What? Rodney, no. I’m not crashing your Christmas. Tell Jeannie that I couldn’t make it because something important came up. Hell, tell here I died if you have to. I’m not coming.”
Rodney snorts. “So you’re going to spend your two weeks of forced vacation all alone somewhere? I don’t think so. I’m going to email Jeannie back, and tell her that you can’t wait to see everyone.” He strides to the door, but pauses briefly as it opens. “Make sure you pack something warm.” With that he vanishes, leaving John staring at the spot he’d just vacated wondering what the hell he’s going to do.
~`~
“This is a bad bad very bad idea.” John mutters when they arrive at Stargate Command a few days later.
“Maybe,” Rodney says distractedly, “but pissing off Jeannie would be an even worse idea. Trust me on this. She was a vindictive child and I doubt that’s changed any.”
“I’m sure you deserved it for whatever you did to her.” John replies. He nods at the strange little bald man who always holds court in the gateroom. Hopefully, someday, he’ll actually remember the man’s name.
The SGC seems strangely empty. SG1 is currently offworld, Sam’s conspicuously spending Christmas in DC, and Landry’s just nowhere to be found. Dr. Lam greets them pleasantly enough, but then proceeds to poke and prod them until they’ve had more than enough of her. When she finally informs them that they’re free to go they all but run from the complex. There’s a rental car waiting to take them to the airport, and before they know it they’re crammed into a plane filled with an alarmingly large number of screaming children. John comes fairly close to stabbing himself in the eye simply for lack of anything better to do.
When they finally land in BC they’re cramped, hungry and tired, but Jeannie’s waiting for them with a big smile on her face that somehow makes the whole flight worth it. John watches as she and Rodney share an awkward hug, and then braces himself for a hug of his own. “John,” Jeannie says softly, “I’m so glad you came.” She then hustles them through the airport and out into her car. Thankfully she’s a much better driver than her brother is, and they make it to the Miller household in record time.
“Well, here we are.” Jeannie says brightly as they step into the house. “Kaleb and Madison are out Christmas shopping today, so it should be just the three of us for a few hours yet.” She smiles widely at them both. “Mer, why don’t you take the stuff up to the guestroom?” Her smile then morphs into a smirk, and she wraps her hands around John’s arm. “I’m going to grill John on the latest embarrassing stories involving you.”
“Oh joy,” Rodney says, rolling his eyes heavenward. “That’s just how I want this vacation to go. Though I admit, it’s not unexpected.” And then, to John’s utter astonishment, he picks up both their bags and heads upstairs.
“Come with me, John.” Jeannie tugs his arm and hauls him towards where he vaguely remembers the kitchen being. Once there, she lets him go and eyes him speculatively.
“So,” John says after they’re quiet for almost a minute. “Um, thanks for inviting me. You really didn’t have to.”
“Oh yes I did.” Jeannie said firmly, and the look in her eyes suddenly makes John nervous. He knows that look. It’s the same look that Rodney gets when he wants John to do something that’s going to be really cool but also really dangerous. Unable to stop himself, he takes a step back.
Jeannie grins.
“What?” He asks warily.
“John, what do you think of Dr. Keller?”
John blinks, momentarily thrown by her question. “Umm, she’s nice? And a good doctor.”
“That’s it?” Jeannie’s grin is getting wider.
John resolutely does not add that Keller’s a man stealing strumpet, but he has a sudden fear that the thought is showing on his face anyway. Especially since Jeannie’s grin now stretches from ear to ear.
Oh no. No. No no no no no! Jeannie can’t possibly know, can she?
Jeannie’s next question makes him think that she does indeed know. “Do you think she’s a good match for Mer?”
Shit.
“Umm, I guess?” He offers weakly. He’s backing up again, but Jeannie follows him until his back hits the edge of the counter.
“Ah. Well. I’m not so sure that I agree with you. As a matter of fact, I’m not so sure that you agree with you either.”
“Jeannie.” There’s a pleading tone in his voice.
“She doesn’t know him John. You’re right. She’s a nice person and a good doctor, but she’s all wrong for Mer. Do you know what she told me when he had that thing in his head?” John shakes his head, unable to speak. “She told me that she didn’t want to notice that something was wrong with Mer because she liked him better when he was acting nicer. Do you know what that tells me?” He shakes his head again. “It tells me that she doesn’t want my brother. She wants the man that she thinks she can shape him into. Do you think that he should be with someone who’d want to change him like that?”
“Jeannie.”
“Yes John?”
“I- I- what do you want me to say?”
“The truth would be nice. Though, it’s not like I haven’t already figured it out for myself.” She says with a shrug. “You love my brother.”
“Jeannie!” He hisses. “You can’t. You can’t tell him. You can’t tell anyone!”
She snorts. “I’m not about to go chat about it with your commanding officers, John. That’d just defeat the purpose of why I asked you here.”
Oh he does not like the sound of that at all. Nope, not one bit. This is a woman with a plan, and it’s a plan that involves him.
Unfortunately, Jeannie seems to take his silence as acceptance because she smiles and pats his shoulder encouragingly. “Don’t worry, I’ve thought of everything.”
“Jeannie,” he forces himself to remain calm as he speaks. “Your brother doesn’t like men.”
She snorts again. “My brother,” she says with a roll of her eyes, “likes anyone who’s willing to sleep with him and you in particular.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “You’re wrong. It’s always been women for him. There’s been Samantha Carter, Katie Brown, and now Keller. No men and definitely not me.”
“John.” He strongly suspects that the voice she’s using right now is the same one she uses when Madison’s simply not getting the concept of what Jeannie’s tell her. “When Mer had that thing in his head, who did he remember? Who did he call for? Who did he run to when he was sacred?”
His breath hitches. He tries not to think about those things. They still hurt too much to remember.
“John?”
“Me.” He says softly. “He always wanted me.”
“Exactly,” she says, giving his cheek a pat. “And that is why this is going to work. Trust me. I have a plan.”
John bites his lip and groans.
~`~
Despite the period of estrangement from her brother, Jeannie is and forever will be a McKay. This means that she’s brilliant, loyal, talented, and subtle as a brick.
Deciding that Rodney’s taking too long upstairs Jeannie wanders after him with John stumbling along behind here. There he finds the first step in Jeannie’s ‘brilliant plan’. There are four rooms upstairs: Jeannie and Kaleb’s bedroom, Madison’s bedroom, a guestroom, and the bathroom. Even if John were as bad at math as Rodney sometimes accuses him of being he’d still be able to work out where this is going.
They find Rodney sitting on one side of the guestroom’s large double bed. He’s got his laptop out, and is happily typing away. John’s things are resting on the empty side of the bed.
“Oh Mer, turn off the computer.” Jeannie says as she enters the room. “You’re here to enjoy yourself.”
“I am enjoying myself.” Rodney protests as she tugs the laptop away from him. “I’m relaxing!”
“You’re making me look like a bad host. Come downstairs and chat for a while. John probably wants some time to unpack.” She pauses and flashes John a knowing grin. “You guys don’t mind sharing right? I mean, we have a couch, but it’s not very comfortable to sleep on. Ask Kaleb.”
“While it warms my heart to hear that you’ve put that curly haired poet you call a husband on the couch, I’ve no desire to try it out for myself. This is fine, right John?” He looks up, and John’s only able to nod in agreement, not trusting his voice yet.
“Good.” Jeannie shoves Rodney out the door gives John a thumbs up and a wink as she brushes past him. For his part John just lets his head fall back against the door while he watches the siblings disappear down the stairs.
What the hell has he gotten himself into?
~`~
“Uncle Mer!!! Hi!!” Madison makes a beeline towards Rodney the second she gets in the house. She leaves a trail of winter clothing behind her, and is still wearing one winter boot when she wraps herself around Rodney’s legs. “What’d you bring me?”
“Madison!” Kaleb follows at a more sedate pace, picking up the scattered articles of clothing. “You know better than that.”
“It’s okay.” Rodney says with a laugh. He reaches down to give Madison an awkward hug. “I brought you plenty of stuff, but you don’t get any of it until Christmas.”
“Awww.” Madison complains. “That’s not for almost a whole week. I can’t wait that long.”
“Yes you can, Mads.” Kaleb says firmly. He then reaches out the arm that isn’t loaded down with clothing and offers Rodney his hand. “It’s good to see you Rodney, and you too, John.” He adds, nodding in John’s direction.
“Nice to see you too, Kaleb.” John replies with a nod of his own. He notices that Madison is looking shyly over at him from behind Rodney’s leg. They make a cute picture like that.
“Maddie,” Jeannie says with a smile. “Do you remember Uncle Mer’s friend John?”
Madison nods, still looking shy.
“Aren’t you going to say hello?”
“Hi.” She says after a moment. Glancing over at her mother, she asks, “Is he an uncle too?”
“Uh…” John shoots a glance at Rodney who seems to be amused by this question, and then looks over at Jeannie, who’s beaming. “Sure,” he says after a minute, feeling flustered. “If you want.”
“Okay!” Releasing Rodney’s legs, Madison runs over to give John a hug as well. “Did you bring me anything that I can open now?”
“Madison!” Both Kaleb and Jeannie shoot their daughter scandalized looks, but John just laughs.
“Fraid not.” He says, giving her head a quick pat. He’s not used to being so quickly accepted like this, but he’ll take it while he’s got it. Jeannie’s crazy scheme aside, Christmas with the Miller’s should be a good time.
~`~
“You’re sure you’re okay with this?”
Rodney blinks up at him form where he’s already huddled under the blankets. They’d had a nice dinner with the Millers, followed by several hours of general chit chat, but now it’s time for bed and John can’t stop thinking about Jeannie’s plot and his involvement in it. If it works, well that’ll be great, but if it fails, which is much more likely, well that’s just going to suck hardcore.
“Rodney?” There is no way that John’s getting into that bed without permission. No matter what Jeannie has to say about the matter.
“I said I was didn’t I?” Rodney pauses to yawn hugely before adding, “Besides, it’s not like we’ve never shared a bed on missions before.”
John’s half tempted to point out that this is different, but his desire to have even this small amount of closeness to Rodney wins out in the end. He climbs into bed and flicks of the lamp near his head. “Night.”
“Mrm, g’night.” Rodney mumbles.
~`~
Step two in Jeannie’s plan apparently involves John showing off his domestic skills. Madison’s off from school for the holidays, but Kaleb is still working and Jeannie suddenly finds all kinds of reasons to leave the house. For the third day in a row John finds himself making lunch for Rodney and Madison while Jeannie runs ‘errands’.
“We’re gonna do the tree tonight, Uncle John!”
John feels the same warm rush of pleasure that he always does when Madison calls him that, and continues cutting the crust off her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “I heard. You excited?”
“Yep!” Madison exclaims happily. “Daddy says that I can put the star on this year, and Mommy says that we’re gonna have more decorations than ever because this is a special Christmas because you and Uncle Mer are here. You’re gonna help decorate too, right?”
“Of course I am, and so is Uncle Mer.” John adds pointedly.
“Yes, yes.” Rodney waves a hand, the one not currently holding his own sandwich, airily. “I will help clutter your house with tacky ornaments and god only knows what else, though I expect something in return for my toiling.”
“I’m sure something can be arranged, Rodney.” John tells him as he sits down with his own sandwich. “However, what do we do until then?”
“Can we make a snowman?” Madison demands. “I love snowmen!”
John laughs. “We can totally do that.”
“You can do that.” Rodney informs him. “I’m going to avoid the cold, thank you very much.”
“Oh no.” John protests. “That’s not fair. You have to play too, Rodney.” He turns to Madison for support. “What do you think, Madison? Should your uncle help us build our snowman?”
“He should.” Madison replies. She gives her uncle a pleading look. “Please Uncle Mer? I bet you make the best snowmen ever.”
Rodney blushes. “Well, it’s not as if it’s a difficult thing to do. So long as you have enough snow.”
“So you’ll help then?”
One look at her face makes Rodney fold like Woolsey when met with a Torren-wielding Teyla. “Sure.” There’s a marked lack of enthusiasm in his voice. “I’ll help.”
“Yay!”
They finish eating in record time, and Rodney deals with the dishes while John helps Madison with her winter gear. It’s chilly out and he refuses to be responsible for her catching a cold while outside.
Once she’s out the backdoor Madison pauses to flop in the snow and make a snow angel for no reason that John or Rodney can readily fathom. They share a confused look before simultaneously shrugging it off as a kid thing.
“Okay!” Madison says, jumping up from the snowbank she’s lodged herself in. “I’m ready.”
“Alright then.” Rodney rubs his hands together and then begins constructing plans for the most artistic snowman John’s ever heard of. John figures he shouldn’t be surprised by this. It’s not like Rodney ever does anything by halves, and watching him help Madison roll snow into a ball bigger than she is can’t help but make John smile.
“Anything I can do?” He asks after a few minutes of this.
“Hmm? Oh.” Rodney looks over at him. “You can go collect twigs and things. For his arms and face.”
“I can do that.” John agrees.
It doesn’t take long for him to find two suitable snowman arms and pebbles that will do for eyes and buttons on the snowman’s chest. He figures that any other items, carrot noses, scarves, etc, can be gotten as a later date, and dumps his bounty at Rodney’s feet. Rodney gives him a looks that says his gifts pass muster, but then goes back to ignoring him in favour of helping Madison.
John can approve of this, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want a little attention of his own. Grinning, he scoops up a handful of snow and begins padding it into a decent snowball. He’s going to catch hell for this, but it’s going to be so worth it.
The snowball arcs gracefully though the air and slams home right on the back of Rodney’s neck. He yelps and jerks backwards, frantically trying to scoop it away before it slides down his jacket and shirt.
“Sheppard!” Rodney whirls to face him, and John’s helpless to do anything but laugh at his outraged glare.
“Oh you think this is funny do you?” Rodney says menacingly. John’s laughing too hard to do anything but nod, and Madison’s fallen over she’s giggling so much. “I see. Well two can play at this game.” He scoops up his own handful of snow and shapes it into a ball. “This is war!”
For a man who really can’t shoot worth a damn, even after almost five years of carrying a gun, Rodney has deadly accuracy with a snowball. The fact that John’s still gasping uncontrollably probably doesn’t help, but the snowball still explodes in John’s face sending ice cold snowflakes everywhere.
It degenerates from there. Laughing hysterically, Madison takes refuge behind the half finished snowman while John and Rodney chase each other hell west and crooked all around the yard. There’s no finesse to it at all. They don’t bother trying to find cover for themselves, and instead just run rampant all over the place, pelting each other with snowballs. To Madison’s utter delight, John manages to get snow down the back of Rodney’s pants, and Rodney responds by tackling John to the ground, bellowing as he does so.
Rodney’s a heavy weight on top of him, but John’s too happy to care. They stay like that for a while, just trying to get their breath back.
“You,” Rodney finally manages to choke out, “are an absolute heathen! I’m ashamed to even know you.”
“Liar.” John laughs, and sticks his tongue out when Rodney makes a face at him. “You know you -.”
“Am I interrupting something?” And suddenly Rodney’s gone. He scrambles off of John, and turns to look at his sister, who’s standing there with her arms full of bags.
“No! Nothing! Just some well deserved retribution.” He says quickly. “Need a hand there?” He takes some of her bags and trots off towards the house with Madison happily tagging along behind him.
John’s still lying in the snow, breathing heavily, Jeannie quirks an eyebrow at him. “You saw that too, right? Meredith does not offer to help with things unless it’s going to somehow be useful to him. In this case, I’d say it’s because it lets him avoid answering any awkward questions.” She laughs when John makes a face at her. “I’m glad to see that you two are at the same maturity level. Coming inside?”
~`~
The Millers have more Christmas decorations than any family needs in a lifetime. While Kaleb deals with the lights for the tree, with Madison’s exuberant if somewhat haphazard assistance, Jeannie directs John and Rodney in placing every ornament where she wants it. There’s holly wrapped around the banister and the fireplace mantle, wreaths on several doors, garlands in all the doorways, and Rodney’s meticulously setting up one of those little village things near the tree.
“That’s got it.” Kaleb takes a step back from the tree to admire his handiwork. The lights blink cheerily at them all.
“Looks good.” John says.
“It’s adequate.” Rodney says.
“You’re just jealous that I wouldn’t let you do it.” Jeannie says, giving her brother a smack on the arm.
“Hey! Sibling abuse!” Rodney rubs his arm theatrically. “You’re setting a pretty poor example for your daughter, you know.”
“Can we put the ornaments on the tree now?” Madison demands practically bursting with excitement.
“We can.” Kaleb says hastily, no doubt hoping to prevent his wife and brother in-law from starting to squabble right where everyone can see them. “Which one do you want to do first?”
Madison grabs a rocketship with Santa riding on it. “This one!”
They all begin placing ornaments on the tree until it’s thoroughly bedecked. Madison squeals with delight when Kaleb hoists her up to put the star on top, and then the five of them step back to admire their handiwork.
“Well,” Rodney says after a moment. “I can’t see any real style here, but it’s not half bad.”
Jeannie rolls her eyes before saying, “It’s also not finished. Wait here.” She disappears upstairs briefly and returns carrying a small cardboard box. “Kaleb’s family has a Christmas tradition that I’ve always liked, and this year we’re adopting it.” She flips up the cover of the box to reveal five ornaments resting inside of it. Each one has a name written on it in glitter, and John’s breath hitches when he realizes that one of them is for him.
“Did you have too, really?” Rodney asks. He hauls out a dark green ball with the name Meredith written on it in silver lettering.
“Yes, I did.” His sister replies. “Now go put it on the tree, and help Madison with hers.” She indicates Madison with her thumb, and John notices that the little girl is swinging a bright purple orb, covered with blue lettering, in circles.
Rodney huffs, but goes to rescue the ornament as ordered.
For her part, Jeannie pulls out the dark blue ornament with John’s name on it, and hands it to him. He runs his finger over the bright gold writing, unable to make eye contact with her.
“Jeannie.” He says softly, unable to avoid noticing how both Rodney and Kaleb are determinedly not paying attention to his little breakdown. “You didn’t have to do this.”
She smiles and wraps her arms around his neck. “Yes, I did.” She whispers, quietly enough that no one else can hear her. “You helped save me. Even if Mer doesn’t get his head out of his ass like I plan, you’re still family.”
He wants to thank her, but the words just won’t come. She seems to get it though because she smiles again, before giving him a pat on the arm and shoving him towards the tree. He hangs his ornament next to Rodney’s, and gets a smile from him as well. It’s a rare smile, one that John doesn’t see nearly enough of, and it makes him think, for a second, that maybe Jeannie’s idea isn’t so farfetched after all.
~`~
When John wanders into the kitchen the next morning he finds Jeannie and Rodney trying to stare each other down. Madison and Kaleb are nowhere to be seen, and for one brief second John thinks that Rodney may have finally clued into the fact that his sister is on some kind of bizarre matchmaking crusade. This fear is quickly banished when Rodney takes a deep breath and says, “I haven’t skated in years.”
Jeannie rolls her eyes. “Really, Mer? I’m just shocked to hear that.”
Rodney rolls his eyes right back. “Then why do you think I’d want to go now?” He demands. “I’m on vacation. That means I’m trying to avoid physical activity in any form.”
Noticing that John’s in the room, she beckons him forward. “Good morning. I don’t suppose I could get you to convince my brother that skating sounds like fun.”
John freezes like a deer caught in the headlights. “Uh.”
“Thanks for that ringing endorsement, John.” She says, before turning back to Rodney. “Come on, Mer. The rink is having a family skate day. We can all get in for like two dollars each. It’ll be fun. You used to be pretty good at skating, if I recall.”
“Yes, used to be being the key words there.” Rodney shakes his head. “I’ll likely end up wobbling all over the rink and making a fool of myself.”
“You’re ridiculous.” Jeannie shakes her head and turns back to John. “What do you think?”
“I’ve never skated before.” He blurts out, completely unintentionally. The siblings stare at him like he’s from another planet. As if the very idea of someone not ever having skated before is too foreign a concept to grasp.
Rodney, predictably, finds his voice first. “What do you mean you’ve never skated before? How can you mock hockey like you do without any kind of first hand experience?”
“Hey.” John protests. “You say the same thing about football.”
“Yes, but since I have a day job that often involves me wearing heavy gear and being tackled by people much larger than I am, I can at least say that I have some comparison. You, on the other hand, have been holding out on me for the last five years.” He turns to his sister. “Find the rest of your brood. We’re going skating.”
John groans.
~`~
“Honestly, should I get you a pylon?”
John looks up from where he’s been rubbing his increasingly bruised backside, and blinks at Rodney. “What?”
Rodney nods his head to the left of them, and John spots a little boy, who can’t be any older than three, pushing himself along the rink, using a bright orange pylon to keep himself steady. He glares. “No thanks.”
Rodney smirks at him, but doesn’t push it. Instead he glides a little closer and reaches out a hand to help John up. “I can’t believe how bad you are at this.” He remarks conversationally, though there’s a certain amount of glee hiding in his eyes. “You should have good balance from surfing; I don’t know why you’re not getting this.”
“Can I please go sit on the benches?” John moans. “This stopped being fun before we even got to the rink.”
“No.” Rodney says, still smirking. “Think of it as payback for all the times you’ve made me run unnecessary laps in the gym. Now here, give me your hands.” He takes one of John’s hands in each of his own, and starts towing him along. “Don’t watch my feet. Just try and let it come naturally.”
“This is so embarrassing.” John’s pretty sure he’s blushing now, and he knows it’s got more to do with the fact that he and Rodney are essentially holding hands than anything else. “It’s one thing when Ronon and Teyla kick my ass at sports, but it’s entirely another when you do it.”
“Speak for yourself. Me, I’m rather enjoying the fact that I’ve found a physical activity that I can do better than you can.”
Rodney’s cheeks are flushed, and it’s obvious that he’s having a good time. That alone almost makes up for the indignity that John’s currently suffering. Or at least, it does right up until the moment when Jeannie suddenly skates by too close to them, causing John to skid wildly before slamming into Rodney’s chest; his sudden grip on Rodney’s shoulders the only thing keeping him from falling yet again.
“Whoa! Whoa, hey! Easy easy, I’ve got you! John, stop squirming before you knock us both over!” Rodney drops his arms down to John’s waist to keep them both steady. John knows what this must look like to passers by, and he doesn’t need to see Jeannie’s face to imagine the smirk she must be wearing right now. Against his better judgment he allows himself a brief moment to enjoy the feeling of Rodney pressed up tight against him.
“John? You okay?”
Forcing himself to slide back a bit, to gain some distance, John nods slowly. “I think I’d like to sit down now.” He says, his breathing a bit on the heavy side.
“Okay.” Rodney says, after a pause that goes on for just a bit too long. “The benches aren’t far.” He guides John over to the edge of the rink, not letting go until John’s got a firm grip on the wall and is stumbling towards a seat. “I’m going to go chase my sister down okay? Someone needs to give her a lesson on how to behave around first time skaters.”
John nods, but Rodney’s gone before he can say anything. He lets his head fall forward into his hands, already cursing all McKays in his head.
~`~
It’s Christmas Eve when John finally breaks. Luckily, Kaleb and Madison are once again not home, John now suspects that this too is an aspect of Jeannie’s diabolical scheme, so Jeannie and Rodney are the only witnesses.
Unsurprisingly, it’s Jeannie’s fault. He and Rodney were innocently sitting on the couch watching Christmas cartoons when she come in and dangled a sprig of mistletoe above their heads.
John stares at the tiny inoffensive plant for a few seconds before catapulting off the couch, trying to put as much distance between him and Rodney as the living room will allow. His eyes wander all over the place, taking in the TV, the tree, the carpet, even the stain on one leg off the coffee table, anything that isn’t Rodney.
“Well, it’s nice to know how repulsive I am.” Rodney says, forcing John to jerk his head up suddenly. Rodney’s mouth is doing that downwards thing it does when he’s feeling hurt, and he’s climbing to his feet, awkwardly brushing away non-existent dirt from the front of his pants. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go upstairs and send a few emails.”
He’s at the top of the stairs before John’s brain finally kicks in, and he’s opening the door to their room when John thunders up the stairs after him.
“What the -?” Rodney lets out a startled protest when John pushes past him into the room, trips over a discarded pair of pants, which is very domestic of them John thinks right before he goes airborne, and faceplants into the bed.
“John?” The question sounds tentative, and the poke that Rodney gives John’s right leg feels much the same way.
Pushing himself off the mattress, John rolls over, points a shaky finger at Rodney and snaps, “Not repulsive!”
“Umm, thank you?” Rodney’s eyes are wide and he’s using his patented talking-to-crazies voice.
“Just, yeah, that, I don’t, I mean, this is all your sister’s fault!” John flops back on the bed, and stares resolutely at the ceiling.
“Hmmph,” Rodney says irritably. “I don’t see why you’re blaming her. You’re the one who’s apparently been leading me on.
Wait. What?
John raises his head, and sees that Rodney’s making the frowny face again.
Rodney quirks an eyebrow at him. “Well what was I supposed to think? Since we got here you’ve been all with the touching and the looking and the the smiling! A few times I thought that you might, that is, I mean, well I guess it doesn’t really matter. Your little display downstairs proves that I was wrong, as usual.”
What? Rodney had noticed things involving social interactions?
Huh.
John sits up slowly. “You thought I wanted to…” He waves a hand between the two of them. “You know. With you? And you were okay with that?” Christ, Jeannie’d been right. In fact it looks like her antics are about to pay off.
Rodney rolls his eyes, but it’s nowhere near as vehement as it usually is. “Yes. I thought you wanted to…you know, and I was okay with it. Happy?”
“Yeah.” John says as he struggles to get up off the bed. “Wanna make me even happier?”
And then they’re kissing. Rodney takes a minute to get with the program, but when he does the result is spectacular. John feels like he’s trapped in a whirlwind. Rodney’s as energetic with kissing as he is with talking, and John has to pull away before all his brain cells short out.
“Get where I’m coming from?” He asks after a minute.
Rodney’s eyes are huge. “Umm. Strangely enough, I think I do. But what was with all the,” he waves a hand, “the everything? Why didn’t you just say so? Wait, never mind, this is you we’re talking about.”
“Hey! I didn’t see you doing anything. In fact, I saw you making eyes at Keller!”
“Well, duh.” Rodney snorts. “She’s hot, has a functioning brain, and actually seemed to be receptive to the idea of a relationship with me. Uh, that probably wasn’t the best thing to say, was it?” At John’s glare he nods knowingly. “Right. Okay. You should be aware that had I known you were interested I never would have looked at Jennifer. You are both hotter and smarter than she is. By a considerable margin might I add. And also you didn’t say anything. How am I, of all people, supposed to know that you have any kind of romantic intent if you don’t say so?”
John shrugs, somehow feeling both mollified and embarrassed. “I never thought you’d be interested. You always talk about girls.”
“Yes.” Rodney agrees. “That’s because, and you may have noticed this, we essentially live on a military base. Military bases are not usually famous for their tolerance of alternative lifestyles.”
John nods, acknowledging the point.
“Still,” Rodney says thoughtfully, “I might be up for an alternative lifestyle if you are.”
John feels himself starting to grin. He wraps his arms around Rodney’s neck, and shudders happily when Rodney’s big hands settle on his waist. “I think I can do that.”
They share several kisses, each one rougher and dirtier than the last, when Rodney suddenly pulls away. He’s breathing raggedly, but his hand comes up to hold John back when he tries to follow.
“John?”
“Hmm?”
“We are not having sex in my sister’s house.”
“Aww, Rodney!”
~`~
They don’t go back downstairs, and John’s half asleep with his head pillowed on Rodney’s chest when they finally see Jeannie again.
“Hmm.” She says, surveying what she no doubt sees as her own handiwork with pride, “I don’t suppose I could convince either of you to help with the gift wrapping tonight, could I?”
John doesn’t bother looking up. The way Rodney’s stomach muscles contract underneath him are as good an indicator as any of the glare that’s no doubt on the scientist’s face.
Jeannie laughs. “I’ll take that as no. Merry Christmas, Mer. I’m glad you like your present.”
As she shuts the door behind her, Rodney runs one of his hands through John’s hair. “What do you suppose she meant by that?”
John yawns contentedly. “I’ll tell you later.”
Author: Klinoa
Disclaimer: They're not mine, I'm just playing.
Spoilers: A few for The Shrine, plus general ones for Season 5.
Words: 6400ish.
Notes: I am supposed to be sudying for finals right now, and instead I am doing this. Bad me.
Summary: John wants something special for Christmas, and Jeannie plans to see that he gets it.
“Why are you spending Christmas with my sister and her family?”
John blinks at Rodney after he makes this demand. He wonders if it would make more sense were it not what the hell o’clock in the morning and were he not standing half awake in the doorway of his quarters. Probably not he decides, and settles for just blinking some more.
“Well?” Rodney demands shrilly, stomping into John’s room. “Explain yourself!”
“Explain what?” John asks, still mostly asleep.
Rodney waves a piece of paper at him. “This! Explain this!”
“Rodney,” John says warily. “I can’t explain something if I don’t know what it is that I’m supposed to be explaining.”
“This!” Rodney says, waving the paper wildly for emphasis. “This is a printed version of an email that I’ve just received from my sister. It contains such valuable pieces of information as the location of the plane tickets for the trip, a list of acceptable Christmas gifts for everyone, and a reminder to tell YOU to pack warm clothes for the visit! Please explain to me why you’re spending Christmas with my family.”
John gapes at him. “I’m spending Christmas with your family?”
“Apparently!”
“Huh.” John scrubs at his face, but it does no good because when he moves his hand away Rodney is still standing in front of him waving the stupid piece of paper. “Umm, why am I spending Christmas with your family?”
“That’s what I’m here to find out, moron!”
“Hey! There’s no need to be rude.” John says feeling offended. “This is news to me too.”
“What? It is?” Rodney narrows his eyes. “You haven’t been in contact with my sister?”
“Not since the last time she was here. With the whole - you know.” John waves a hand weakly, not wanting bring up the hole Second Childhood issue if he can avoid it. “Why would I be?”
“I don’t know, but why else would she invite you - oh.”
“Rodney?” John does not like it when Rodney uses that tone of voice. That tone of voice generally means that Rodney has done something he knows John would never want him to do, and has just been caught doing it.
“Umm.” Great, now he’s blushing, that’s another bad sign. “There’s a small, I would even go so far as to call it miniscule, but still, a chance that this might in fact be my fault. Possibly. Just a bit. A tiny bit.”
“Rodney.”
“I’m sorry!” Rodney brings up his hands in a defensive position. “It was an accident. I never should have mentioned it to her, but we were discussing the first nanite debacle, and I may have possibly mentioned that you’d had your own adventure on Earth involving Replicators, which in turn may have led to me mentioning why you were on Earth at that point in time.”
“Rodney!” John’s not sure where this conversation is going, but he doubts that he’s going to like it. “What are you talking about?”
Rodney makes a distressed sound somewhere along the line of “Nrgh!” before gasping out, “It’s entirely possible that Jeannie’s aware of your family situation, and has asked you to spend Christmas with us so that you won’t be alone!”
John just stares at him because there is no fucking way that he heard that line correctly.
“I’m sorry!” Rodney yelps again. “I didn’t mean to tell her everything, but after I’d mentioned your father’s funeral the rest of it kind of came out. That’s probably where the invite came from.”
“Rodney.” John finally manages to find his voice. “I am not a goddamned charity case!”
“Oh please, like Jeannie would do something like that.” Rodney snorts. “She likes you, and she probably thinks that she’s doing you a favour. She’s weird like that.” He folds his now much wrinkled piece of paper as neatly as he can and stuffs it in one of his pockets. “I guess we’re spending the holidays together.”
“What? Rodney, no. I’m not crashing your Christmas. Tell Jeannie that I couldn’t make it because something important came up. Hell, tell here I died if you have to. I’m not coming.”
Rodney snorts. “So you’re going to spend your two weeks of forced vacation all alone somewhere? I don’t think so. I’m going to email Jeannie back, and tell her that you can’t wait to see everyone.” He strides to the door, but pauses briefly as it opens. “Make sure you pack something warm.” With that he vanishes, leaving John staring at the spot he’d just vacated wondering what the hell he’s going to do.
~`~
“This is a bad bad very bad idea.” John mutters when they arrive at Stargate Command a few days later.
“Maybe,” Rodney says distractedly, “but pissing off Jeannie would be an even worse idea. Trust me on this. She was a vindictive child and I doubt that’s changed any.”
“I’m sure you deserved it for whatever you did to her.” John replies. He nods at the strange little bald man who always holds court in the gateroom. Hopefully, someday, he’ll actually remember the man’s name.
The SGC seems strangely empty. SG1 is currently offworld, Sam’s conspicuously spending Christmas in DC, and Landry’s just nowhere to be found. Dr. Lam greets them pleasantly enough, but then proceeds to poke and prod them until they’ve had more than enough of her. When she finally informs them that they’re free to go they all but run from the complex. There’s a rental car waiting to take them to the airport, and before they know it they’re crammed into a plane filled with an alarmingly large number of screaming children. John comes fairly close to stabbing himself in the eye simply for lack of anything better to do.
When they finally land in BC they’re cramped, hungry and tired, but Jeannie’s waiting for them with a big smile on her face that somehow makes the whole flight worth it. John watches as she and Rodney share an awkward hug, and then braces himself for a hug of his own. “John,” Jeannie says softly, “I’m so glad you came.” She then hustles them through the airport and out into her car. Thankfully she’s a much better driver than her brother is, and they make it to the Miller household in record time.
“Well, here we are.” Jeannie says brightly as they step into the house. “Kaleb and Madison are out Christmas shopping today, so it should be just the three of us for a few hours yet.” She smiles widely at them both. “Mer, why don’t you take the stuff up to the guestroom?” Her smile then morphs into a smirk, and she wraps her hands around John’s arm. “I’m going to grill John on the latest embarrassing stories involving you.”
“Oh joy,” Rodney says, rolling his eyes heavenward. “That’s just how I want this vacation to go. Though I admit, it’s not unexpected.” And then, to John’s utter astonishment, he picks up both their bags and heads upstairs.
“Come with me, John.” Jeannie tugs his arm and hauls him towards where he vaguely remembers the kitchen being. Once there, she lets him go and eyes him speculatively.
“So,” John says after they’re quiet for almost a minute. “Um, thanks for inviting me. You really didn’t have to.”
“Oh yes I did.” Jeannie said firmly, and the look in her eyes suddenly makes John nervous. He knows that look. It’s the same look that Rodney gets when he wants John to do something that’s going to be really cool but also really dangerous. Unable to stop himself, he takes a step back.
Jeannie grins.
“What?” He asks warily.
“John, what do you think of Dr. Keller?”
John blinks, momentarily thrown by her question. “Umm, she’s nice? And a good doctor.”
“That’s it?” Jeannie’s grin is getting wider.
John resolutely does not add that Keller’s a man stealing strumpet, but he has a sudden fear that the thought is showing on his face anyway. Especially since Jeannie’s grin now stretches from ear to ear.
Oh no. No. No no no no no! Jeannie can’t possibly know, can she?
Jeannie’s next question makes him think that she does indeed know. “Do you think she’s a good match for Mer?”
Shit.
“Umm, I guess?” He offers weakly. He’s backing up again, but Jeannie follows him until his back hits the edge of the counter.
“Ah. Well. I’m not so sure that I agree with you. As a matter of fact, I’m not so sure that you agree with you either.”
“Jeannie.” There’s a pleading tone in his voice.
“She doesn’t know him John. You’re right. She’s a nice person and a good doctor, but she’s all wrong for Mer. Do you know what she told me when he had that thing in his head?” John shakes his head, unable to speak. “She told me that she didn’t want to notice that something was wrong with Mer because she liked him better when he was acting nicer. Do you know what that tells me?” He shakes his head again. “It tells me that she doesn’t want my brother. She wants the man that she thinks she can shape him into. Do you think that he should be with someone who’d want to change him like that?”
“Jeannie.”
“Yes John?”
“I- I- what do you want me to say?”
“The truth would be nice. Though, it’s not like I haven’t already figured it out for myself.” She says with a shrug. “You love my brother.”
“Jeannie!” He hisses. “You can’t. You can’t tell him. You can’t tell anyone!”
She snorts. “I’m not about to go chat about it with your commanding officers, John. That’d just defeat the purpose of why I asked you here.”
Oh he does not like the sound of that at all. Nope, not one bit. This is a woman with a plan, and it’s a plan that involves him.
Unfortunately, Jeannie seems to take his silence as acceptance because she smiles and pats his shoulder encouragingly. “Don’t worry, I’ve thought of everything.”
“Jeannie,” he forces himself to remain calm as he speaks. “Your brother doesn’t like men.”
She snorts again. “My brother,” she says with a roll of her eyes, “likes anyone who’s willing to sleep with him and you in particular.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “You’re wrong. It’s always been women for him. There’s been Samantha Carter, Katie Brown, and now Keller. No men and definitely not me.”
“John.” He strongly suspects that the voice she’s using right now is the same one she uses when Madison’s simply not getting the concept of what Jeannie’s tell her. “When Mer had that thing in his head, who did he remember? Who did he call for? Who did he run to when he was sacred?”
His breath hitches. He tries not to think about those things. They still hurt too much to remember.
“John?”
“Me.” He says softly. “He always wanted me.”
“Exactly,” she says, giving his cheek a pat. “And that is why this is going to work. Trust me. I have a plan.”
John bites his lip and groans.
~`~
Despite the period of estrangement from her brother, Jeannie is and forever will be a McKay. This means that she’s brilliant, loyal, talented, and subtle as a brick.
Deciding that Rodney’s taking too long upstairs Jeannie wanders after him with John stumbling along behind here. There he finds the first step in Jeannie’s ‘brilliant plan’. There are four rooms upstairs: Jeannie and Kaleb’s bedroom, Madison’s bedroom, a guestroom, and the bathroom. Even if John were as bad at math as Rodney sometimes accuses him of being he’d still be able to work out where this is going.
They find Rodney sitting on one side of the guestroom’s large double bed. He’s got his laptop out, and is happily typing away. John’s things are resting on the empty side of the bed.
“Oh Mer, turn off the computer.” Jeannie says as she enters the room. “You’re here to enjoy yourself.”
“I am enjoying myself.” Rodney protests as she tugs the laptop away from him. “I’m relaxing!”
“You’re making me look like a bad host. Come downstairs and chat for a while. John probably wants some time to unpack.” She pauses and flashes John a knowing grin. “You guys don’t mind sharing right? I mean, we have a couch, but it’s not very comfortable to sleep on. Ask Kaleb.”
“While it warms my heart to hear that you’ve put that curly haired poet you call a husband on the couch, I’ve no desire to try it out for myself. This is fine, right John?” He looks up, and John’s only able to nod in agreement, not trusting his voice yet.
“Good.” Jeannie shoves Rodney out the door gives John a thumbs up and a wink as she brushes past him. For his part John just lets his head fall back against the door while he watches the siblings disappear down the stairs.
What the hell has he gotten himself into?
~`~
“Uncle Mer!!! Hi!!” Madison makes a beeline towards Rodney the second she gets in the house. She leaves a trail of winter clothing behind her, and is still wearing one winter boot when she wraps herself around Rodney’s legs. “What’d you bring me?”
“Madison!” Kaleb follows at a more sedate pace, picking up the scattered articles of clothing. “You know better than that.”
“It’s okay.” Rodney says with a laugh. He reaches down to give Madison an awkward hug. “I brought you plenty of stuff, but you don’t get any of it until Christmas.”
“Awww.” Madison complains. “That’s not for almost a whole week. I can’t wait that long.”
“Yes you can, Mads.” Kaleb says firmly. He then reaches out the arm that isn’t loaded down with clothing and offers Rodney his hand. “It’s good to see you Rodney, and you too, John.” He adds, nodding in John’s direction.
“Nice to see you too, Kaleb.” John replies with a nod of his own. He notices that Madison is looking shyly over at him from behind Rodney’s leg. They make a cute picture like that.
“Maddie,” Jeannie says with a smile. “Do you remember Uncle Mer’s friend John?”
Madison nods, still looking shy.
“Aren’t you going to say hello?”
“Hi.” She says after a moment. Glancing over at her mother, she asks, “Is he an uncle too?”
“Uh…” John shoots a glance at Rodney who seems to be amused by this question, and then looks over at Jeannie, who’s beaming. “Sure,” he says after a minute, feeling flustered. “If you want.”
“Okay!” Releasing Rodney’s legs, Madison runs over to give John a hug as well. “Did you bring me anything that I can open now?”
“Madison!” Both Kaleb and Jeannie shoot their daughter scandalized looks, but John just laughs.
“Fraid not.” He says, giving her head a quick pat. He’s not used to being so quickly accepted like this, but he’ll take it while he’s got it. Jeannie’s crazy scheme aside, Christmas with the Miller’s should be a good time.
~`~
“You’re sure you’re okay with this?”
Rodney blinks up at him form where he’s already huddled under the blankets. They’d had a nice dinner with the Millers, followed by several hours of general chit chat, but now it’s time for bed and John can’t stop thinking about Jeannie’s plot and his involvement in it. If it works, well that’ll be great, but if it fails, which is much more likely, well that’s just going to suck hardcore.
“Rodney?” There is no way that John’s getting into that bed without permission. No matter what Jeannie has to say about the matter.
“I said I was didn’t I?” Rodney pauses to yawn hugely before adding, “Besides, it’s not like we’ve never shared a bed on missions before.”
John’s half tempted to point out that this is different, but his desire to have even this small amount of closeness to Rodney wins out in the end. He climbs into bed and flicks of the lamp near his head. “Night.”
“Mrm, g’night.” Rodney mumbles.
~`~
Step two in Jeannie’s plan apparently involves John showing off his domestic skills. Madison’s off from school for the holidays, but Kaleb is still working and Jeannie suddenly finds all kinds of reasons to leave the house. For the third day in a row John finds himself making lunch for Rodney and Madison while Jeannie runs ‘errands’.
“We’re gonna do the tree tonight, Uncle John!”
John feels the same warm rush of pleasure that he always does when Madison calls him that, and continues cutting the crust off her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “I heard. You excited?”
“Yep!” Madison exclaims happily. “Daddy says that I can put the star on this year, and Mommy says that we’re gonna have more decorations than ever because this is a special Christmas because you and Uncle Mer are here. You’re gonna help decorate too, right?”
“Of course I am, and so is Uncle Mer.” John adds pointedly.
“Yes, yes.” Rodney waves a hand, the one not currently holding his own sandwich, airily. “I will help clutter your house with tacky ornaments and god only knows what else, though I expect something in return for my toiling.”
“I’m sure something can be arranged, Rodney.” John tells him as he sits down with his own sandwich. “However, what do we do until then?”
“Can we make a snowman?” Madison demands. “I love snowmen!”
John laughs. “We can totally do that.”
“You can do that.” Rodney informs him. “I’m going to avoid the cold, thank you very much.”
“Oh no.” John protests. “That’s not fair. You have to play too, Rodney.” He turns to Madison for support. “What do you think, Madison? Should your uncle help us build our snowman?”
“He should.” Madison replies. She gives her uncle a pleading look. “Please Uncle Mer? I bet you make the best snowmen ever.”
Rodney blushes. “Well, it’s not as if it’s a difficult thing to do. So long as you have enough snow.”
“So you’ll help then?”
One look at her face makes Rodney fold like Woolsey when met with a Torren-wielding Teyla. “Sure.” There’s a marked lack of enthusiasm in his voice. “I’ll help.”
“Yay!”
They finish eating in record time, and Rodney deals with the dishes while John helps Madison with her winter gear. It’s chilly out and he refuses to be responsible for her catching a cold while outside.
Once she’s out the backdoor Madison pauses to flop in the snow and make a snow angel for no reason that John or Rodney can readily fathom. They share a confused look before simultaneously shrugging it off as a kid thing.
“Okay!” Madison says, jumping up from the snowbank she’s lodged herself in. “I’m ready.”
“Alright then.” Rodney rubs his hands together and then begins constructing plans for the most artistic snowman John’s ever heard of. John figures he shouldn’t be surprised by this. It’s not like Rodney ever does anything by halves, and watching him help Madison roll snow into a ball bigger than she is can’t help but make John smile.
“Anything I can do?” He asks after a few minutes of this.
“Hmm? Oh.” Rodney looks over at him. “You can go collect twigs and things. For his arms and face.”
“I can do that.” John agrees.
It doesn’t take long for him to find two suitable snowman arms and pebbles that will do for eyes and buttons on the snowman’s chest. He figures that any other items, carrot noses, scarves, etc, can be gotten as a later date, and dumps his bounty at Rodney’s feet. Rodney gives him a looks that says his gifts pass muster, but then goes back to ignoring him in favour of helping Madison.
John can approve of this, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want a little attention of his own. Grinning, he scoops up a handful of snow and begins padding it into a decent snowball. He’s going to catch hell for this, but it’s going to be so worth it.
The snowball arcs gracefully though the air and slams home right on the back of Rodney’s neck. He yelps and jerks backwards, frantically trying to scoop it away before it slides down his jacket and shirt.
“Sheppard!” Rodney whirls to face him, and John’s helpless to do anything but laugh at his outraged glare.
“Oh you think this is funny do you?” Rodney says menacingly. John’s laughing too hard to do anything but nod, and Madison’s fallen over she’s giggling so much. “I see. Well two can play at this game.” He scoops up his own handful of snow and shapes it into a ball. “This is war!”
For a man who really can’t shoot worth a damn, even after almost five years of carrying a gun, Rodney has deadly accuracy with a snowball. The fact that John’s still gasping uncontrollably probably doesn’t help, but the snowball still explodes in John’s face sending ice cold snowflakes everywhere.
It degenerates from there. Laughing hysterically, Madison takes refuge behind the half finished snowman while John and Rodney chase each other hell west and crooked all around the yard. There’s no finesse to it at all. They don’t bother trying to find cover for themselves, and instead just run rampant all over the place, pelting each other with snowballs. To Madison’s utter delight, John manages to get snow down the back of Rodney’s pants, and Rodney responds by tackling John to the ground, bellowing as he does so.
Rodney’s a heavy weight on top of him, but John’s too happy to care. They stay like that for a while, just trying to get their breath back.
“You,” Rodney finally manages to choke out, “are an absolute heathen! I’m ashamed to even know you.”
“Liar.” John laughs, and sticks his tongue out when Rodney makes a face at him. “You know you -.”
“Am I interrupting something?” And suddenly Rodney’s gone. He scrambles off of John, and turns to look at his sister, who’s standing there with her arms full of bags.
“No! Nothing! Just some well deserved retribution.” He says quickly. “Need a hand there?” He takes some of her bags and trots off towards the house with Madison happily tagging along behind him.
John’s still lying in the snow, breathing heavily, Jeannie quirks an eyebrow at him. “You saw that too, right? Meredith does not offer to help with things unless it’s going to somehow be useful to him. In this case, I’d say it’s because it lets him avoid answering any awkward questions.” She laughs when John makes a face at her. “I’m glad to see that you two are at the same maturity level. Coming inside?”
~`~
The Millers have more Christmas decorations than any family needs in a lifetime. While Kaleb deals with the lights for the tree, with Madison’s exuberant if somewhat haphazard assistance, Jeannie directs John and Rodney in placing every ornament where she wants it. There’s holly wrapped around the banister and the fireplace mantle, wreaths on several doors, garlands in all the doorways, and Rodney’s meticulously setting up one of those little village things near the tree.
“That’s got it.” Kaleb takes a step back from the tree to admire his handiwork. The lights blink cheerily at them all.
“Looks good.” John says.
“It’s adequate.” Rodney says.
“You’re just jealous that I wouldn’t let you do it.” Jeannie says, giving her brother a smack on the arm.
“Hey! Sibling abuse!” Rodney rubs his arm theatrically. “You’re setting a pretty poor example for your daughter, you know.”
“Can we put the ornaments on the tree now?” Madison demands practically bursting with excitement.
“We can.” Kaleb says hastily, no doubt hoping to prevent his wife and brother in-law from starting to squabble right where everyone can see them. “Which one do you want to do first?”
Madison grabs a rocketship with Santa riding on it. “This one!”
They all begin placing ornaments on the tree until it’s thoroughly bedecked. Madison squeals with delight when Kaleb hoists her up to put the star on top, and then the five of them step back to admire their handiwork.
“Well,” Rodney says after a moment. “I can’t see any real style here, but it’s not half bad.”
Jeannie rolls her eyes before saying, “It’s also not finished. Wait here.” She disappears upstairs briefly and returns carrying a small cardboard box. “Kaleb’s family has a Christmas tradition that I’ve always liked, and this year we’re adopting it.” She flips up the cover of the box to reveal five ornaments resting inside of it. Each one has a name written on it in glitter, and John’s breath hitches when he realizes that one of them is for him.
“Did you have too, really?” Rodney asks. He hauls out a dark green ball with the name Meredith written on it in silver lettering.
“Yes, I did.” His sister replies. “Now go put it on the tree, and help Madison with hers.” She indicates Madison with her thumb, and John notices that the little girl is swinging a bright purple orb, covered with blue lettering, in circles.
Rodney huffs, but goes to rescue the ornament as ordered.
For her part, Jeannie pulls out the dark blue ornament with John’s name on it, and hands it to him. He runs his finger over the bright gold writing, unable to make eye contact with her.
“Jeannie.” He says softly, unable to avoid noticing how both Rodney and Kaleb are determinedly not paying attention to his little breakdown. “You didn’t have to do this.”
She smiles and wraps her arms around his neck. “Yes, I did.” She whispers, quietly enough that no one else can hear her. “You helped save me. Even if Mer doesn’t get his head out of his ass like I plan, you’re still family.”
He wants to thank her, but the words just won’t come. She seems to get it though because she smiles again, before giving him a pat on the arm and shoving him towards the tree. He hangs his ornament next to Rodney’s, and gets a smile from him as well. It’s a rare smile, one that John doesn’t see nearly enough of, and it makes him think, for a second, that maybe Jeannie’s idea isn’t so farfetched after all.
~`~
When John wanders into the kitchen the next morning he finds Jeannie and Rodney trying to stare each other down. Madison and Kaleb are nowhere to be seen, and for one brief second John thinks that Rodney may have finally clued into the fact that his sister is on some kind of bizarre matchmaking crusade. This fear is quickly banished when Rodney takes a deep breath and says, “I haven’t skated in years.”
Jeannie rolls her eyes. “Really, Mer? I’m just shocked to hear that.”
Rodney rolls his eyes right back. “Then why do you think I’d want to go now?” He demands. “I’m on vacation. That means I’m trying to avoid physical activity in any form.”
Noticing that John’s in the room, she beckons him forward. “Good morning. I don’t suppose I could get you to convince my brother that skating sounds like fun.”
John freezes like a deer caught in the headlights. “Uh.”
“Thanks for that ringing endorsement, John.” She says, before turning back to Rodney. “Come on, Mer. The rink is having a family skate day. We can all get in for like two dollars each. It’ll be fun. You used to be pretty good at skating, if I recall.”
“Yes, used to be being the key words there.” Rodney shakes his head. “I’ll likely end up wobbling all over the rink and making a fool of myself.”
“You’re ridiculous.” Jeannie shakes her head and turns back to John. “What do you think?”
“I’ve never skated before.” He blurts out, completely unintentionally. The siblings stare at him like he’s from another planet. As if the very idea of someone not ever having skated before is too foreign a concept to grasp.
Rodney, predictably, finds his voice first. “What do you mean you’ve never skated before? How can you mock hockey like you do without any kind of first hand experience?”
“Hey.” John protests. “You say the same thing about football.”
“Yes, but since I have a day job that often involves me wearing heavy gear and being tackled by people much larger than I am, I can at least say that I have some comparison. You, on the other hand, have been holding out on me for the last five years.” He turns to his sister. “Find the rest of your brood. We’re going skating.”
John groans.
~`~
“Honestly, should I get you a pylon?”
John looks up from where he’s been rubbing his increasingly bruised backside, and blinks at Rodney. “What?”
Rodney nods his head to the left of them, and John spots a little boy, who can’t be any older than three, pushing himself along the rink, using a bright orange pylon to keep himself steady. He glares. “No thanks.”
Rodney smirks at him, but doesn’t push it. Instead he glides a little closer and reaches out a hand to help John up. “I can’t believe how bad you are at this.” He remarks conversationally, though there’s a certain amount of glee hiding in his eyes. “You should have good balance from surfing; I don’t know why you’re not getting this.”
“Can I please go sit on the benches?” John moans. “This stopped being fun before we even got to the rink.”
“No.” Rodney says, still smirking. “Think of it as payback for all the times you’ve made me run unnecessary laps in the gym. Now here, give me your hands.” He takes one of John’s hands in each of his own, and starts towing him along. “Don’t watch my feet. Just try and let it come naturally.”
“This is so embarrassing.” John’s pretty sure he’s blushing now, and he knows it’s got more to do with the fact that he and Rodney are essentially holding hands than anything else. “It’s one thing when Ronon and Teyla kick my ass at sports, but it’s entirely another when you do it.”
“Speak for yourself. Me, I’m rather enjoying the fact that I’ve found a physical activity that I can do better than you can.”
Rodney’s cheeks are flushed, and it’s obvious that he’s having a good time. That alone almost makes up for the indignity that John’s currently suffering. Or at least, it does right up until the moment when Jeannie suddenly skates by too close to them, causing John to skid wildly before slamming into Rodney’s chest; his sudden grip on Rodney’s shoulders the only thing keeping him from falling yet again.
“Whoa! Whoa, hey! Easy easy, I’ve got you! John, stop squirming before you knock us both over!” Rodney drops his arms down to John’s waist to keep them both steady. John knows what this must look like to passers by, and he doesn’t need to see Jeannie’s face to imagine the smirk she must be wearing right now. Against his better judgment he allows himself a brief moment to enjoy the feeling of Rodney pressed up tight against him.
“John? You okay?”
Forcing himself to slide back a bit, to gain some distance, John nods slowly. “I think I’d like to sit down now.” He says, his breathing a bit on the heavy side.
“Okay.” Rodney says, after a pause that goes on for just a bit too long. “The benches aren’t far.” He guides John over to the edge of the rink, not letting go until John’s got a firm grip on the wall and is stumbling towards a seat. “I’m going to go chase my sister down okay? Someone needs to give her a lesson on how to behave around first time skaters.”
John nods, but Rodney’s gone before he can say anything. He lets his head fall forward into his hands, already cursing all McKays in his head.
~`~
It’s Christmas Eve when John finally breaks. Luckily, Kaleb and Madison are once again not home, John now suspects that this too is an aspect of Jeannie’s diabolical scheme, so Jeannie and Rodney are the only witnesses.
Unsurprisingly, it’s Jeannie’s fault. He and Rodney were innocently sitting on the couch watching Christmas cartoons when she come in and dangled a sprig of mistletoe above their heads.
John stares at the tiny inoffensive plant for a few seconds before catapulting off the couch, trying to put as much distance between him and Rodney as the living room will allow. His eyes wander all over the place, taking in the TV, the tree, the carpet, even the stain on one leg off the coffee table, anything that isn’t Rodney.
“Well, it’s nice to know how repulsive I am.” Rodney says, forcing John to jerk his head up suddenly. Rodney’s mouth is doing that downwards thing it does when he’s feeling hurt, and he’s climbing to his feet, awkwardly brushing away non-existent dirt from the front of his pants. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go upstairs and send a few emails.”
He’s at the top of the stairs before John’s brain finally kicks in, and he’s opening the door to their room when John thunders up the stairs after him.
“What the -?” Rodney lets out a startled protest when John pushes past him into the room, trips over a discarded pair of pants, which is very domestic of them John thinks right before he goes airborne, and faceplants into the bed.
“John?” The question sounds tentative, and the poke that Rodney gives John’s right leg feels much the same way.
Pushing himself off the mattress, John rolls over, points a shaky finger at Rodney and snaps, “Not repulsive!”
“Umm, thank you?” Rodney’s eyes are wide and he’s using his patented talking-to-crazies voice.
“Just, yeah, that, I don’t, I mean, this is all your sister’s fault!” John flops back on the bed, and stares resolutely at the ceiling.
“Hmmph,” Rodney says irritably. “I don’t see why you’re blaming her. You’re the one who’s apparently been leading me on.
Wait. What?
John raises his head, and sees that Rodney’s making the frowny face again.
Rodney quirks an eyebrow at him. “Well what was I supposed to think? Since we got here you’ve been all with the touching and the looking and the the smiling! A few times I thought that you might, that is, I mean, well I guess it doesn’t really matter. Your little display downstairs proves that I was wrong, as usual.”
What? Rodney had noticed things involving social interactions?
Huh.
John sits up slowly. “You thought I wanted to…” He waves a hand between the two of them. “You know. With you? And you were okay with that?” Christ, Jeannie’d been right. In fact it looks like her antics are about to pay off.
Rodney rolls his eyes, but it’s nowhere near as vehement as it usually is. “Yes. I thought you wanted to…you know, and I was okay with it. Happy?”
“Yeah.” John says as he struggles to get up off the bed. “Wanna make me even happier?”
And then they’re kissing. Rodney takes a minute to get with the program, but when he does the result is spectacular. John feels like he’s trapped in a whirlwind. Rodney’s as energetic with kissing as he is with talking, and John has to pull away before all his brain cells short out.
“Get where I’m coming from?” He asks after a minute.
Rodney’s eyes are huge. “Umm. Strangely enough, I think I do. But what was with all the,” he waves a hand, “the everything? Why didn’t you just say so? Wait, never mind, this is you we’re talking about.”
“Hey! I didn’t see you doing anything. In fact, I saw you making eyes at Keller!”
“Well, duh.” Rodney snorts. “She’s hot, has a functioning brain, and actually seemed to be receptive to the idea of a relationship with me. Uh, that probably wasn’t the best thing to say, was it?” At John’s glare he nods knowingly. “Right. Okay. You should be aware that had I known you were interested I never would have looked at Jennifer. You are both hotter and smarter than she is. By a considerable margin might I add. And also you didn’t say anything. How am I, of all people, supposed to know that you have any kind of romantic intent if you don’t say so?”
John shrugs, somehow feeling both mollified and embarrassed. “I never thought you’d be interested. You always talk about girls.”
“Yes.” Rodney agrees. “That’s because, and you may have noticed this, we essentially live on a military base. Military bases are not usually famous for their tolerance of alternative lifestyles.”
John nods, acknowledging the point.
“Still,” Rodney says thoughtfully, “I might be up for an alternative lifestyle if you are.”
John feels himself starting to grin. He wraps his arms around Rodney’s neck, and shudders happily when Rodney’s big hands settle on his waist. “I think I can do that.”
They share several kisses, each one rougher and dirtier than the last, when Rodney suddenly pulls away. He’s breathing raggedly, but his hand comes up to hold John back when he tries to follow.
“John?”
“Hmm?”
“We are not having sex in my sister’s house.”
“Aww, Rodney!”
~`~
They don’t go back downstairs, and John’s half asleep with his head pillowed on Rodney’s chest when they finally see Jeannie again.
“Hmm.” She says, surveying what she no doubt sees as her own handiwork with pride, “I don’t suppose I could convince either of you to help with the gift wrapping tonight, could I?”
John doesn’t bother looking up. The way Rodney’s stomach muscles contract underneath him are as good an indicator as any of the glare that’s no doubt on the scientist’s face.
Jeannie laughs. “I’ll take that as no. Merry Christmas, Mer. I’m glad you like your present.”
As she shuts the door behind her, Rodney runs one of his hands through John’s hair. “What do you suppose she meant by that?”
John yawns contentedly. “I’ll tell you later.”