Fic: You see... there's been an accident (Part 3).
You see... there's been an accident (Part 3).
Pairing: John/Rodney
Rating: PG
Warnings: DON'T GIGGLE
Disclaimer: It's not just that I don't own the main characters, I don't even own the seconday charcters that appear for half a second in the background.
Summary: 'You don't really suggest we let him live there until he changes back, Colonel...' the doctor said, raising an eyebrow. 'It would be quite the amusing situation.'
Okay, here comes the new chapter, today shorter but I hope you enjoy it just as much as I hope you did the last ones. I want to thank you all for the reviews, you really make me start the day with a silly grin when I check my mail in the morning.
Now I want to give special mentions and thanks to my brand new beta, infiticus who kindly revised the last two chapter and this one. Please be kind enough to offer her cookies for her efforts.
*Gives cookies to brand new beta*
Ch 1
Ch 2
Ok, and on with the action!
Teyla didn't say cute. Not because John had gently asked her not to, or because she was the leader of her people and leaders do not say cute, but because she was slightly worried for the whole situation. After all, their friend had turned into a cat, and yes, it was a small ball of fur and looked really, really soft and tempting to pet and stroke, but it was still Rodney and he was still a cat which, at least in her culture, meant there might be problems. Of course, she could understand the apparent ease of her friends and co-workers. Even if they were worried about what was happening, as deadly-catastrophes-of-the-week went, this was quite a mild one. No ships hovering over the city, no John kidnapped by psychotic ex-boring-crop-farmer (or psychotic space bimbo, or weird not exactly ascended Ancient, or...), no approaching critical mass in the power generators, no big bad storm heading their way... just a kitten, and not even a Wraith kitten. She tried very hard not to imagine a Wraith kitten, small and furry, with tiny mouth-like cuts in its paws and snow white hair. Unable to ignore the image in her mind, the Athosian turned to her friend. John was sitting on a gurney with Doctor Bamber hovering over him and Rodney still tucked away under the jacket.
'Now, stay very still while I try to grab him, Colonel...' the zoologist was saying, his hands wrapped in thick gloves after his first attempt at Rodney-removal, as Ronon had called it before she sent him back to the gym. They were trying to get the kitten out from under John's jacket and back into the cage so Teyla could take him to her quarters. Though, she was starting to think that Rodney had his own opinion about where he wanted to be. She tried very hard not to smirk at that because, as she had already stated, leaders do not giggle like eleven year old girls.
She was not an eleven year old girl.
'Are you giggling?'
Busted.
'Do not be absurd, John.'
'You were giggling.'
Time to change the subject. The Athosian leader ducked John's glare and faced Dr. Bamber.
'Are you sure you will not harm him?'
'Yes I am, Ms. Emmagan,' he said for the tenth time. 'I've had experience in treating young tigers, this shouldn't be much more difficult.'
There was a snort from the general direction where Tratchenberg was being treated for some not so small lacerations, and Teyla couldn't help but wonder what a 'tiger' was and how could it be worse than having to face the kitten that was starting to be known by the marines as the Killer Rabbit, although she wasn't sure why they would call it a rabbit when it was clearly a cat. But then, there were so many things she didn't understand about humans.
A frantic moan came from under the jacket when Dr. Bamber tried to pry it open and Teyla had to stop herself before pulling the man away from John and the cat.
'If he's scared I don't see how a giant mean glove will soothe him.' Ronon said from the door, having obviously ignored her recommendation to get the hell out of there.
Bamber ignored him and began carefully opening the jacket's zip. 'It will only take a couple of sec...'
There was an angry snort and a clawed paw shot from inside the jacket, attacking the gloves ineffectually. Unable to scratch, the kitten went back to John-groping - another of Ronon's terms - although Teyla wasn't sure groping had ever involved the groped party whining a string of ouchouchouchouchouchRodneystopthatouchouchouchouch.
'I don't think he wants to be removed, Doctor...' John squeaked, hastily wrapping his hands around the kitten, who was now without the jacket layer.
'You don't really suggest we let him live there until he changes back, Colonel...' the doctor said, raising an eyebrow. 'It would be quite the amusing situation.'
'Well, not until we can change him back, but at least until he calms down a little bit more.' Teyla suggested for the eleventh time and looked at Carter who was cradling a cup of coffee like it was her newborn. The leader of the expedition looked at Keller and the doctor just shrugged.
'I thought we said he was staying with Teyla.' John complained, more like whined. All the while his hands were soothingly holding Rodney.
'I am not sure if keeping Rodney in a cage in my room against his will is a good idea. Besides, it's only a temporary state... is it not?' She looked sideways at Keller for confirmation.
'We can't give him anymore tests until Dr. Zelenka has worked a bit on the device, to see if he can turn it off.'
'But you will be able to return Doctor McKay to his previous state, won't you?' Teyla finally expressed her real worry and wasn't really surprised to see John's head jerk towards Doctor Keller. His face was devoid of curiosity and his pose as laid back as possible without him actually lying down, but his hand had started slowly stroking Rodney's nape. The kitten didn't go on a killing frenzy, in fact he moved a little to grant the man better access.
John glared at her when she 'didn't giggle' again.
'There's no reason why we won't be able to,' Keller said with confidence. They had already discussed this at the morning meeting. The labs had confirmed what Rodney had been trying to tell -yell- to John in their argument in the market, they had finally found a working ancestor's device that apparently, although Teyla was clueless as of how the doctor had known that, didn't come from Atlantis itself. 'It's just a matter of time until Dr. Zelenka finds it in the database and then we will be able to turn it off.'
'If it can be turned off.' John muttered, his hand still on Rodney's head. The kitten had actually started purring softly.
'Why would the Lanteans build a device that turns you into a kitten but won't change you back?' Carter asked from behind her steaming cup, and Teyla found herself contributing to the party of general because the ancestors were completely careless morons stares she received.
'Why would they create a race of tiny pissed off machines and then conveniently forget to write it down in the data base'? To her surprise, the sarcasm came from private Tratchenber's gurney. The soldier might have realised she'd been out of place because she threw an apologetic look at the colonel. 'Er... sorry, sir.'
But John didn't looked pissed at all, if anything he growled and added, 'Or build a giant power source and then completely forget to pin DOES NOT WORK, MIGHT BLOW UP SOLAR SYSTEM, KEEP EGOMANIAC BALDING SCIENTISTS AWAY post it on its record in the database?'
'And let's not get started on the whole Wraith fiasco, which isn't in the database either...' Ronon added as an afterthought, although Teyla knew he was still upset from finding out the truth behind the Wraith evolution.
Carter looked slightly taken aback. She might have read all the reports, but hadn't really experienced the disappointment that came from finding out that the people you've revered your whole life were not only fallible but arrogant, careless and even despotic.
'Let's say there's a reason why Rodney has the labs filled with warning posters and everything is labeled in Bat Cave style.' John finished the subject.
'Anyway, Radek is confident he will be able to get Rodney back in a couple of days.' Keller explained and looked pointedly to the sickbay's doors, throwing them out and not really subtly. 'So if the matter of what you're going to do with the kitten is over...'
'Well...' John looked dubiously down at the bundle of fur in his hands. 'You know... taking care of animals has never been my strongest trait.'
'You've been taking care of the whole city for the last four years, Colonel,' Colonel Carter said. 'I'm sure you'll manage this.'
'Again, we're talking about a kitten here,' John insisted. ' I don't even know what they like to eat or how many hours they sleep or what to do when he needs to go or...'
'I can send you a few specifications on cat care, if you want,' Doctor Bamber said helpfully, but Teyla could have swore that the man smirked when John glared in his direction.
'What about my duties as the military chief of the city? Or... or... What if he goes crazy again? uh?... What if he tries to...? ' Rodney purred under John's hand and the colonel shut up, looking down at the cat peacefully rubbing its head against his fingers.
'He doesn't look exactly about to attack you, Sheppard.' Ronon contributed to the discussion and earned his own glare.
'Well, once he calmed down he was bound to stop feeling threatened and relax his belligerent attit...' Bamber raised his hand towards Rodney and hastily dropped it when the cat hissed venomously. 'Or maybe not.'
'It seems only Sheppard is allowed to cuddle him.' The Satedan added, and in the same manner that Teyla was not a little girl and didn't giggle, the Colonel was not fifteen, so he didn't blush and have to cough to get his voice back.
'Fine, fine...' he grumbled, ' I'll take him with me if you all are so afraid, but just because I am the military commander officer and is my duty to make sure you all don't end up killed by a kitten.'
Nope, not fifteen at all.
The conversation went on for a few minutes, but not much later Doctor Keller finally managed to get them out of Sickbay and the team dispersed to see to their private matters, that is: Shower for her, food for Ronon and cat training for the colonel.
She'd wanted to offer to help John with taking care of the cat, but he'd somehow found offensive what he'd called her silly giggles, which was wrong because she didn't giggle, as previously stated, and only meant that the colonel was going to leave their next training exercise slightly more sore than what he probably would have if he hadn't been making stupid comments about how she was probably a girl with flapping ponytails, pink bedroom walls covered in rainbows and unicorns and the whole Stacy Malibú collection. She hadn't understood a word of it, but it had sounded offensive enough.
So, a shower it was for her.
Showers.
She'd spent most of her life living without running water. It's truth that on Athos they had had many commodities, and never a shortage of water. But it hadn't been until Teyla had come to live in Atlantis that she had discovered the wonders of a piping system, and she had to admit that besides her friends, running water was what she'd missed the most in the short days the Ancestors had been back to the city and the Earth people back to their planet. enjoyed the steaming hot water relaxing her tired muscles and washing worries away for a few minutes.
That's why she didn't appreciate the freezing cold water the shower spurted on her without warning.
There was a polite call to maintenance, asking if they could fix the lack of hot water problem, please, and Teyla was also politely told that although they were going to see to it, they were really busy and didn't know when someone could been sent to her quarters to fix such a small matter. She thanked them and called Ronon, asking him to call maintenance himself and stress her request.
The maintenance man appeared at her door three minutes and twenty four seconds later, apologising profusely for her wait.
Unfortunately, an hour later the shower still wasn't fixed and the maintenance man had had to leave because they had been receiving a large number of complaints of malfunctioning showers and general cold water through the city. Teyla had felt a little guilty when he had asked her please, please, please, to tell her friend that he had done everything possible to help her and that it wasn't his fault he hadn't been able to fix it, so please don't break his pinkies.
-------
This is so far, I hope you enjoyed it!
Now remember, reviewings flatter me and make me happy, and a happy and flattered Mina writes faster than and unhappy and unflattered one ^^
Pairing: John/Rodney
Rating: PG
Warnings: DON'T GIGGLE
Disclaimer: It's not just that I don't own the main characters, I don't even own the seconday charcters that appear for half a second in the background.
Summary: 'You don't really suggest we let him live there until he changes back, Colonel...' the doctor said, raising an eyebrow. 'It would be quite the amusing situation.'
Okay, here comes the new chapter, today shorter but I hope you enjoy it just as much as I hope you did the last ones. I want to thank you all for the reviews, you really make me start the day with a silly grin when I check my mail in the morning.
Now I want to give special mentions and thanks to my brand new beta, infiticus who kindly revised the last two chapter and this one. Please be kind enough to offer her cookies for her efforts.
*Gives cookies to brand new beta*
Ch 1
Ch 2
Ok, and on with the action!
Teyla didn't say cute. Not because John had gently asked her not to, or because she was the leader of her people and leaders do not say cute, but because she was slightly worried for the whole situation. After all, their friend had turned into a cat, and yes, it was a small ball of fur and looked really, really soft and tempting to pet and stroke, but it was still Rodney and he was still a cat which, at least in her culture, meant there might be problems. Of course, she could understand the apparent ease of her friends and co-workers. Even if they were worried about what was happening, as deadly-catastrophes-of-the-week went, this was quite a mild one. No ships hovering over the city, no John kidnapped by psychotic ex-boring-crop-farmer (or psychotic space bimbo, or weird not exactly ascended Ancient, or...), no approaching critical mass in the power generators, no big bad storm heading their way... just a kitten, and not even a Wraith kitten. She tried very hard not to imagine a Wraith kitten, small and furry, with tiny mouth-like cuts in its paws and snow white hair. Unable to ignore the image in her mind, the Athosian turned to her friend. John was sitting on a gurney with Doctor Bamber hovering over him and Rodney still tucked away under the jacket.
'Now, stay very still while I try to grab him, Colonel...' the zoologist was saying, his hands wrapped in thick gloves after his first attempt at Rodney-removal, as Ronon had called it before she sent him back to the gym. They were trying to get the kitten out from under John's jacket and back into the cage so Teyla could take him to her quarters. Though, she was starting to think that Rodney had his own opinion about where he wanted to be. She tried very hard not to smirk at that because, as she had already stated, leaders do not giggle like eleven year old girls.
She was not an eleven year old girl.
'Are you giggling?'
Busted.
'Do not be absurd, John.'
'You were giggling.'
Time to change the subject. The Athosian leader ducked John's glare and faced Dr. Bamber.
'Are you sure you will not harm him?'
'Yes I am, Ms. Emmagan,' he said for the tenth time. 'I've had experience in treating young tigers, this shouldn't be much more difficult.'
There was a snort from the general direction where Tratchenberg was being treated for some not so small lacerations, and Teyla couldn't help but wonder what a 'tiger' was and how could it be worse than having to face the kitten that was starting to be known by the marines as the Killer Rabbit, although she wasn't sure why they would call it a rabbit when it was clearly a cat. But then, there were so many things she didn't understand about humans.
A frantic moan came from under the jacket when Dr. Bamber tried to pry it open and Teyla had to stop herself before pulling the man away from John and the cat.
'If he's scared I don't see how a giant mean glove will soothe him.' Ronon said from the door, having obviously ignored her recommendation to get the hell out of there.
Bamber ignored him and began carefully opening the jacket's zip. 'It will only take a couple of sec...'
There was an angry snort and a clawed paw shot from inside the jacket, attacking the gloves ineffectually. Unable to scratch, the kitten went back to John-groping - another of Ronon's terms - although Teyla wasn't sure groping had ever involved the groped party whining a string of ouchouchouchouchouchRodneystopthatouchouchouchouch.
'I don't think he wants to be removed, Doctor...' John squeaked, hastily wrapping his hands around the kitten, who was now without the jacket layer.
'You don't really suggest we let him live there until he changes back, Colonel...' the doctor said, raising an eyebrow. 'It would be quite the amusing situation.'
'Well, not until we can change him back, but at least until he calms down a little bit more.' Teyla suggested for the eleventh time and looked at Carter who was cradling a cup of coffee like it was her newborn. The leader of the expedition looked at Keller and the doctor just shrugged.
'I thought we said he was staying with Teyla.' John complained, more like whined. All the while his hands were soothingly holding Rodney.
'I am not sure if keeping Rodney in a cage in my room against his will is a good idea. Besides, it's only a temporary state... is it not?' She looked sideways at Keller for confirmation.
'We can't give him anymore tests until Dr. Zelenka has worked a bit on the device, to see if he can turn it off.'
'But you will be able to return Doctor McKay to his previous state, won't you?' Teyla finally expressed her real worry and wasn't really surprised to see John's head jerk towards Doctor Keller. His face was devoid of curiosity and his pose as laid back as possible without him actually lying down, but his hand had started slowly stroking Rodney's nape. The kitten didn't go on a killing frenzy, in fact he moved a little to grant the man better access.
John glared at her when she 'didn't giggle' again.
'There's no reason why we won't be able to,' Keller said with confidence. They had already discussed this at the morning meeting. The labs had confirmed what Rodney had been trying to tell -yell- to John in their argument in the market, they had finally found a working ancestor's device that apparently, although Teyla was clueless as of how the doctor had known that, didn't come from Atlantis itself. 'It's just a matter of time until Dr. Zelenka finds it in the database and then we will be able to turn it off.'
'If it can be turned off.' John muttered, his hand still on Rodney's head. The kitten had actually started purring softly.
'Why would the Lanteans build a device that turns you into a kitten but won't change you back?' Carter asked from behind her steaming cup, and Teyla found herself contributing to the party of general because the ancestors were completely careless morons stares she received.
'Why would they create a race of tiny pissed off machines and then conveniently forget to write it down in the data base'? To her surprise, the sarcasm came from private Tratchenber's gurney. The soldier might have realised she'd been out of place because she threw an apologetic look at the colonel. 'Er... sorry, sir.'
But John didn't looked pissed at all, if anything he growled and added, 'Or build a giant power source and then completely forget to pin DOES NOT WORK, MIGHT BLOW UP SOLAR SYSTEM, KEEP EGOMANIAC BALDING SCIENTISTS AWAY post it on its record in the database?'
'And let's not get started on the whole Wraith fiasco, which isn't in the database either...' Ronon added as an afterthought, although Teyla knew he was still upset from finding out the truth behind the Wraith evolution.
Carter looked slightly taken aback. She might have read all the reports, but hadn't really experienced the disappointment that came from finding out that the people you've revered your whole life were not only fallible but arrogant, careless and even despotic.
'Let's say there's a reason why Rodney has the labs filled with warning posters and everything is labeled in Bat Cave style.' John finished the subject.
'Anyway, Radek is confident he will be able to get Rodney back in a couple of days.' Keller explained and looked pointedly to the sickbay's doors, throwing them out and not really subtly. 'So if the matter of what you're going to do with the kitten is over...'
'Well...' John looked dubiously down at the bundle of fur in his hands. 'You know... taking care of animals has never been my strongest trait.'
'You've been taking care of the whole city for the last four years, Colonel,' Colonel Carter said. 'I'm sure you'll manage this.'
'Again, we're talking about a kitten here,' John insisted. ' I don't even know what they like to eat or how many hours they sleep or what to do when he needs to go or...'
'I can send you a few specifications on cat care, if you want,' Doctor Bamber said helpfully, but Teyla could have swore that the man smirked when John glared in his direction.
'What about my duties as the military chief of the city? Or... or... What if he goes crazy again? uh?... What if he tries to...? ' Rodney purred under John's hand and the colonel shut up, looking down at the cat peacefully rubbing its head against his fingers.
'He doesn't look exactly about to attack you, Sheppard.' Ronon contributed to the discussion and earned his own glare.
'Well, once he calmed down he was bound to stop feeling threatened and relax his belligerent attit...' Bamber raised his hand towards Rodney and hastily dropped it when the cat hissed venomously. 'Or maybe not.'
'It seems only Sheppard is allowed to cuddle him.' The Satedan added, and in the same manner that Teyla was not a little girl and didn't giggle, the Colonel was not fifteen, so he didn't blush and have to cough to get his voice back.
'Fine, fine...' he grumbled, ' I'll take him with me if you all are so afraid, but just because I am the military commander officer and is my duty to make sure you all don't end up killed by a kitten.'
Nope, not fifteen at all.
The conversation went on for a few minutes, but not much later Doctor Keller finally managed to get them out of Sickbay and the team dispersed to see to their private matters, that is: Shower for her, food for Ronon and cat training for the colonel.
She'd wanted to offer to help John with taking care of the cat, but he'd somehow found offensive what he'd called her silly giggles, which was wrong because she didn't giggle, as previously stated, and only meant that the colonel was going to leave their next training exercise slightly more sore than what he probably would have if he hadn't been making stupid comments about how she was probably a girl with flapping ponytails, pink bedroom walls covered in rainbows and unicorns and the whole Stacy Malibú collection. She hadn't understood a word of it, but it had sounded offensive enough.
So, a shower it was for her.
Showers.
She'd spent most of her life living without running water. It's truth that on Athos they had had many commodities, and never a shortage of water. But it hadn't been until Teyla had come to live in Atlantis that she had discovered the wonders of a piping system, and she had to admit that besides her friends, running water was what she'd missed the most in the short days the Ancestors had been back to the city and the Earth people back to their planet. enjoyed the steaming hot water relaxing her tired muscles and washing worries away for a few minutes.
That's why she didn't appreciate the freezing cold water the shower spurted on her without warning.
There was a polite call to maintenance, asking if they could fix the lack of hot water problem, please, and Teyla was also politely told that although they were going to see to it, they were really busy and didn't know when someone could been sent to her quarters to fix such a small matter. She thanked them and called Ronon, asking him to call maintenance himself and stress her request.
The maintenance man appeared at her door three minutes and twenty four seconds later, apologising profusely for her wait.
Unfortunately, an hour later the shower still wasn't fixed and the maintenance man had had to leave because they had been receiving a large number of complaints of malfunctioning showers and general cold water through the city. Teyla had felt a little guilty when he had asked her please, please, please, to tell her friend that he had done everything possible to help her and that it wasn't his fault he hadn't been able to fix it, so please don't break his pinkies.
-------
This is so far, I hope you enjoyed it!
Now remember, reviewings flatter me and make me happy, and a happy and flattered Mina writes faster than and unhappy and unflattered one ^^