Chompskian Subversion
A pale gentleman at the head of the table breaks the silence, "The creation of this...". He drifts into a vacant stare, takes a deep breath, then continues, "This masterwork, will I think be a testament to the subtle effectiveness of our order." The room echoes his every utterance distinctly, for it is of marble. And he continues, "encased within this hermetically sealed box is the most powerful weapon of culinary terrorism known to man. Imagine if you will, a weapon so brutally efficient that it can reduce an entire populous to a powerless mass of ineffectual, obese zombies and after a dormancy period will eliminate most victims entirely sometime after they reach age of 50."
"How will this new weapon be deployed, sir?" a gaunt younger man with closely cropped platinum hair piped.
"Like our other culinary terrorism endeavors, It will be through our corporate Foods of Mass Destruction distribution facilities which currently number more than thirty-thousand globally. The weapon is in our usual style in that it is self administered and people will pay considerable amounts of money to obtain it. This weapon is not a stand-alone entity. It is part of our main strategy and it acts as a force multiplier to achieve our goal of reducing the population before it becomes invalid and unable to support us in the same way."
"So, If I understand you correctly, This is targeted at the elderly?" asks a thin woman with piercing blue eyes.
"Sometimes I wonder why your still here Dora." mumbles the pale gentleman as he lowers his head and gathers his thoughts. Then, he stands up, followed at once by everyone else at the table. "No! This weapon takes time to work. It's immediate effects are obesity and de-motivation. The lethality is a cumulative effect that only comes into play after the productive years of the human life cycle. And now Dora, since you broke the fifth rule of our order by asking such an asinine question, you can be the first to demonstrate for us the effects of what's inside this box..."
"Oh please sir, I would rather be sent to Egypt and be dissolved in a bathtub full of acid." grovelled Dora.
"In this case Dora, you may have your McGriddle, and eat it too..."
"How will this new weapon be deployed, sir?" a gaunt younger man with closely cropped platinum hair piped.
"Like our other culinary terrorism endeavors, It will be through our corporate Foods of Mass Destruction distribution facilities which currently number more than thirty-thousand globally. The weapon is in our usual style in that it is self administered and people will pay considerable amounts of money to obtain it. This weapon is not a stand-alone entity. It is part of our main strategy and it acts as a force multiplier to achieve our goal of reducing the population before it becomes invalid and unable to support us in the same way."
"So, If I understand you correctly, This is targeted at the elderly?" asks a thin woman with piercing blue eyes.
"Sometimes I wonder why your still here Dora." mumbles the pale gentleman as he lowers his head and gathers his thoughts. Then, he stands up, followed at once by everyone else at the table. "No! This weapon takes time to work. It's immediate effects are obesity and de-motivation. The lethality is a cumulative effect that only comes into play after the productive years of the human life cycle. And now Dora, since you broke the fifth rule of our order by asking such an asinine question, you can be the first to demonstrate for us the effects of what's inside this box..."
"Oh please sir, I would rather be sent to Egypt and be dissolved in a bathtub full of acid." grovelled Dora.
"In this case Dora, you may have your McGriddle, and eat it too..."