Yeah.
My dad is in jail. Right now. I guess the first thing that came to his mind was "contact the boys", because I got a call from his lawyer yesterday, and my brother did, as well. She called and left a voicemail, it went a little something like this:
"Hey Mylan, this is ___ ____, I am your father's attorney, he has asked if you would be able to transfer $70 over to him, for the purchase of shampoo, toothpaste, a toothbrush, and other basic needs. You can reach me at ___-___-____."
At first I thought "well, he's in prison, I can understand him having needs," and then I took in the full meaning of it all. My father, the same father who has fucked me over, countless times before, lied to me, did not pay one cent of my tuition, and has put me in a number of compromising situations, wants me to send him $70? Even if I had $70 to spare, it is not going in that direction.
He told me that he would give me $4000, so that I could afford my Ranger. That did not happen. He told my mother, a judge, and myself, that he would pay for my tuition (as mandated by law, no less). That did not happen. He told me a number of times that I would be able to see him out in Albquerque, and about half of those times fell through. There was a 4 year period of time, where I did not see him, because he was married to some woman out there. He divorced her after that, and what do you know? We saw him again. More recently, he got a girlfriend after he moved to Tampa. I didn't like her either, but once again, we fell to the back burner. This time was not nearly as long as last, but the feeling was still there.
I really love my father. I feel that family is one of the most important things in the world, and long past everything else has gone, your family should still be there for you, and vice versa. I am my father's son. And he is a good guy, he really is. Maybe not the best father, but he's the only father I'll ever have. I really do feel sorry for him, and I simpathize, but I cannot, and will not give him that $70. I guess it's a byproduct of him not following through on a number of his promises, that I'm in the monetary situation I'm in now, but it is what it is, and I can't. And the way that I always fall to the back burner when he has something else going on, it makes me think that maybe I'm not a son to him. I mean, I pray to God that I'll never treat my children the way he has treated me. I know there are people out there who have it worse than me. I know that. But, the way he just disregarded me all those years, I have a hard time forgiving him for.
To add on top of that, my mother is starting to ignore me, in ways. Maybe not for the sake of disregarding me, I have every reason to believe that it is because Jim tells her to do what he says first, but the fact of the matter is still the same. Abandonment is definitely not the right word, perhaps a bit too harsh, but it gets the idea across.
I don't know. I guess all you really can take away from something like that is to say "I won't do that when I have kids," but that only goes so far. Only makes you feel so okay about what goes on. When I worked at Ferguson, I would just stay at work longer when shit goes down like this, but my new job just pisses me off more, how menial and mindless it is. So. I don't know.
There's no real point to posting things like this. I realize most of my posts are rants, and sound kind of pathetic. I appreciate anyone who still reads it. It's nice to know that people care enough to read through line after line of your thoughts.
I'll try to lighten it up some. Another day.
"Hey Mylan, this is ___ ____, I am your father's attorney, he has asked if you would be able to transfer $70 over to him, for the purchase of shampoo, toothpaste, a toothbrush, and other basic needs. You can reach me at ___-___-____."
At first I thought "well, he's in prison, I can understand him having needs," and then I took in the full meaning of it all. My father, the same father who has fucked me over, countless times before, lied to me, did not pay one cent of my tuition, and has put me in a number of compromising situations, wants me to send him $70? Even if I had $70 to spare, it is not going in that direction.
He told me that he would give me $4000, so that I could afford my Ranger. That did not happen. He told my mother, a judge, and myself, that he would pay for my tuition (as mandated by law, no less). That did not happen. He told me a number of times that I would be able to see him out in Albquerque, and about half of those times fell through. There was a 4 year period of time, where I did not see him, because he was married to some woman out there. He divorced her after that, and what do you know? We saw him again. More recently, he got a girlfriend after he moved to Tampa. I didn't like her either, but once again, we fell to the back burner. This time was not nearly as long as last, but the feeling was still there.
I really love my father. I feel that family is one of the most important things in the world, and long past everything else has gone, your family should still be there for you, and vice versa. I am my father's son. And he is a good guy, he really is. Maybe not the best father, but he's the only father I'll ever have. I really do feel sorry for him, and I simpathize, but I cannot, and will not give him that $70. I guess it's a byproduct of him not following through on a number of his promises, that I'm in the monetary situation I'm in now, but it is what it is, and I can't. And the way that I always fall to the back burner when he has something else going on, it makes me think that maybe I'm not a son to him. I mean, I pray to God that I'll never treat my children the way he has treated me. I know there are people out there who have it worse than me. I know that. But, the way he just disregarded me all those years, I have a hard time forgiving him for.
To add on top of that, my mother is starting to ignore me, in ways. Maybe not for the sake of disregarding me, I have every reason to believe that it is because Jim tells her to do what he says first, but the fact of the matter is still the same. Abandonment is definitely not the right word, perhaps a bit too harsh, but it gets the idea across.
I don't know. I guess all you really can take away from something like that is to say "I won't do that when I have kids," but that only goes so far. Only makes you feel so okay about what goes on. When I worked at Ferguson, I would just stay at work longer when shit goes down like this, but my new job just pisses me off more, how menial and mindless it is. So. I don't know.
There's no real point to posting things like this. I realize most of my posts are rants, and sound kind of pathetic. I appreciate anyone who still reads it. It's nice to know that people care enough to read through line after line of your thoughts.
I'll try to lighten it up some. Another day.