HATECRIMED! or Lv. 12 Human Paladin
i got hatecrimed last night after the superbowl. i was walking home from the cigarette store with some cigarettes and all of a sudden i spotted a group of five dudes and heard the following statements shouted at me from across the street:
"Look, it's a faggot!"
"Hey, you fucking faggot!"
"Nice scarf, faggot."
"Oh, the faggot's gonna ignore us."
"Fuck you, faggot!"
of course the best thing i could think of to say was lame; i think it was "Wow, you guys are real smart." upon further analysis of the situation it is obvious that an enthusiastic "GOOOOOOOOOOO BEARS!!" would have been probably the best course of action.
insulting the intelligence of this genius collective only served to confuse them, forcing them all to resort to a simple group chant of "fuck you, faggot" over and over again. the best part was at the very end, when the one who initiated this spirited dialogue chose to end it with this admonition:
"Yeah, go study LAW, you fucking faggot."
which is kind of remarkable, because as pitiably stupid and would-be insulting as these drunken hooligans were, they actually managed to overestimate me as being intelligent and driven enough to not only attend law school, but to study excessively for it. i was left thinking, man, do i really look like a grad student? it's an unanswerable question, i realized, owing to the disparity of types of people who choose to practice law. and seeing as how unanswerable questions aren't really my thing since i've never been much of a philosophy type either, i just shrugged and settled back in for an evening of World of Warcraft, Diet Squirt, and the occasional cigarette break.
"Look, it's a faggot!"
"Hey, you fucking faggot!"
"Nice scarf, faggot."
"Oh, the faggot's gonna ignore us."
"Fuck you, faggot!"
of course the best thing i could think of to say was lame; i think it was "Wow, you guys are real smart." upon further analysis of the situation it is obvious that an enthusiastic "GOOOOOOOOOOO BEARS!!" would have been probably the best course of action.
insulting the intelligence of this genius collective only served to confuse them, forcing them all to resort to a simple group chant of "fuck you, faggot" over and over again. the best part was at the very end, when the one who initiated this spirited dialogue chose to end it with this admonition:
"Yeah, go study LAW, you fucking faggot."
which is kind of remarkable, because as pitiably stupid and would-be insulting as these drunken hooligans were, they actually managed to overestimate me as being intelligent and driven enough to not only attend law school, but to study excessively for it. i was left thinking, man, do i really look like a grad student? it's an unanswerable question, i realized, owing to the disparity of types of people who choose to practice law. and seeing as how unanswerable questions aren't really my thing since i've never been much of a philosophy type either, i just shrugged and settled back in for an evening of World of Warcraft, Diet Squirt, and the occasional cigarette break.