I think I am probably the only one that would write a post like this.

[mcconaughey]

"Matt," she begins. I hate it when people call me Matt. My name is Matthew. I hate her. Her fingernails are talons, long and pink and I think I see the glint of rhinestones. Her eyebrows are crayoned on too dark to be natural, fat and crooked like caterpillars. I think her hair is fake-- at least part of it. It looks too full in the back, and the

Comments

[zdeschanel]

matthaniel.

[mcconaughey]

Zooeybelle. Or is it Zoeybelle?

[zdeschanel]

i don't know how to make the angry face emoticon, but if i did i would be giving you one right now.

[mcconaughey]

And to think, I was wondering if you were putting me down for number one. Am offended, appalled, et cetera. Let's go on vacay.

[zdeschanel]

i really need one.

[mcconaughey]

I have been on one for the last two months it feels like, but I am always down for another. Let's go to Amsterdam and get weed and tattoos.

[zdeschanel]

haha well i don't know about the tattoo.

[mcconaughey]

Why not we can get matching ones. I want a giant one of my face like Steve-o has.

[zdeschanel]

because i'd probably get something really emo that i'd regret in five years.

[mcconaughey]

That is the only reason people get tattoos, to regret them. That is basically my motivator for everything.

[zdeschanel]

don't let me get a kermit tattoo, that's what i wanted when i was sixteen.

[mcconaughey]

Like the frog? That'd be gorgeous. You can get one of those and I'll get a Miss Piggy. This is sort of apropos. You're the reptile and I'm the fatty.

[zdeschanel]

haha not that i'm google image searching pictures of you or anything, but i don't think you have any body fat.

[mcconaughey]

One of these days, I will show you that's not even true. I've got a pinch or so on my thighs and plus, you haven't seen me in a while, I've had too many orders of nachos.

[zdeschanel]

sign on for real.

[mcconaughey]

I cannot, yo, but I will be around later this evening, right after I take my nap.