(Untitled)

[mcconaughey]

I was nudged something like thirty-six times last night. Luke Wilson, this one goes out to you. Amelia Warner, you'll get yours eventually, but this one has the Willie Nelson song about gay cowboys, and I thought it was more apropos to pick the gay Texan, I don't know

Comments

[wilsonluke]

Hahaha wait. I think I need to download and listen to this song first before I can appropriately comment. Though I must say, Amelia Warner made me nudge you. She paid me in ice cream because she has no career and therefore cannot pay in anything other than ice cream. And you know I'm a fatty, so I was more than willing to help her out with the nudging. Thus, this is just a great big added bonus and now that I've downloaded, listened, and reread, I am memorying it. But moving on. I am going to comment about every part of this simply because I feel like I must.

I love how the update for me has all the links to your pictures. People are going to think that you did this for my pleasure and whatever shred of masculinity I had left is going to be out the window, not to mention the three people left in the world who still thought I was straight. Because as I click each link and listen to the Willie Nelson song for the third time, it's quite obvious I'm not, yeah? I almost feel as if this is where I should thank you for helping me admit it. And perhaps I sub-conciously helped Amelia Warner nudge the fuck out of you on purpose, because I somehow knew that this is the type of update you would do. Perhaps, Matthew, perhaps.

SJP is very peculiar and I cannot blame you for being at a loss for words when asked to describe her. I could barely stand her on set, either. Horrid woman, horrid horrid woman. Her husband though, Broderick? Charming studmuffin, oh yes. ...haha and there's another point for my gay meter.

Rubenesque housewives *and Luke, obviously. I can't think of anything to say about the rest of this paragraph except for asking if you'll be my new sugar daddy.

I obviously only care about the photos from #1, 4, 5, 7, and 8. Excuse me while I save them all to my computer. It should also be obvious now that I am more than willing to drop 15-20 dollars to go see this movie, and it's most certainly not because of Sarah. Let's hope she doesn't read my comment. When it comes out on DVD, will you sign a copy for me? This was such a lame comment in response to this great update that you did all for me when all I did was click for some ice cream. But I am still listening to the Willie song on repeat and clicking links so you'll have to settle. Gracias, Senor McConaughey. This made my day.

[sarahjessparker]

GO STAND IN THE CORNER, WILSON. ------------------->

[wilsonluke]

WHY? IS YOUR HUSBAND STANDING IN IT, CAUSE OKAY, GLADLY.

[sarahjessparker]

YOU ARE DEAD TO ME. AGAIN.

[wilsonluke]

THAT IS OKAY BECAUSE IT IS OBVIOUS THAT I WAS ONLY USING YOU TO GET TO HIM. AND WELL THAT PART IS OVER PLEASE MOVE OUT OF THE WAY NOW I AM STEALING YOUR HUSBAND.

[mcconaughey]

LMFSAHGFJKGDFGDHJGJDGFD

[sarahjessparker]

QUIT TAKING WILSON'S SIDE IN THIS, YOU JERK

[mcconaughey]

I AM NOT TAKING ANY SIDES, I AM JUST AMUSED HE IS TRYING TO STEAL YOUR HUSBAND

[mcconaughey]

I think you do, too. It really sets a precedent for every man to come out of the great state of Texas. The one thing that I have learned from Willie Nelson is that if you brag about your conquests, you're probably sucking it on the weekends. I can't believe all it takes is someone shaking a cup of soft serve in your face to get you to nudge me that many times. I am going to shake a hot dog in your direction and see what that gets me. She is a horrible girl. I nudge her all the time, but I don't know what made her think that this deal went the other way, too. Are you really memorying this? You homo, what is that all about.

Please, the three people that did were blind and deaf and still in the middle of their sign language lessons, so we couldn't teach them the one truth that this world holds. The Wilsons are gay. Hopefully not together, a la Madden twins, but definitely homosexual. I was really lacking for content and I was like, okay, I'll be a good little actor and pimp what is certainly the Worst Movie of 2006, besides Phat Girlz, that new Mo'Nique one, and I was like, the only thing that could make this any better is if I put a lot of pictures in it. There are support groups for people like you. I could be your sponser. I wonder what they give you for months outed. Dildos, maybe? Benwa balls? Anal beads, who knows, I feel like I should take you to a leather club.

HAHAHAHAHA, you know what, I think you just like Matthews. It has nothing to do with the fact that all Matthews are boys, you just happen to find anyone with the name disarmingly attractive. What about Matthew Fox?

Do you even have a bean to diddle? Does sugar daddy mean I'm going to have to touch you and/or remove any item of my clothing in front of you? Or does it mean that I can just take you to your first drag show? These are things I need to know before I make a commitment.

You would. Zooey gets no appreciation. Hahaha, don't save them, you creep. Are you going to look at them and diddle your bean later? I'm getting the creeps thinking about this. I know you're not gay and I know that you're not straight, you are, for some reason, asexual, which is sad because if you lost some of your pregnancy weight, you'd be attractive enough to land a pity date or two. How about I sign your bra instead? Okay, I am done with the women jokes. I am glad that you liked it, because I am really never updating again, goodbye.

[wilsonluke]

Did you know that I was in a Willie Nelson video? That was one of the best times of my life, because I really do love the mans work. Unless it is one of those big huge jumbo ball park hot dogs with the works on it, you would be better off with waving a cake in my face or something. I have a sweet tooth. But baseball game hot dogs have a special place in my heart too and I would most definitely say "how high" if you waved one of those in my face and told me to jump. Haha you get what you give, Matthew. This is all just fair play. I am obviously memorying this for the pure genius of it, aka your abs.

I can assure you, the Wilson brothers are not gay a la Madden twins, no matter what this looks like. Actually, Andrew is the straight one with a kid and a divorce under his belt already, it's just Owen and I who are carrying the flaming torch. Actually, it's still early in the year, Matty, so you have a good chance of there being a worse movie coming out. Most likely, it'll be mine. I haven't decided if its going to be the one in which Uma Thurman plays my superhero girlfriend, or the one where I wake up without any family jewels, but I have a gut feeling that one will not do so well. Just take me to a gay bar, okay. Let's start out simple. I don't know about what they give you for months being outed, but I am sort of hoping that a gay kama sutra book is what you get for month three.

HAHAHAH maybe you have thought of something here, because Matthew Fox is the only reason I have ever made myself watch Lost. At the time I claimed it was because of that Evangeline girl, but now that you've outed me, yes, I am attracted to Matthews. So wait, does this mean I'm gay or just obsessed?

Maybe I do and maybe I don't. Why don't you find out, Matthew. Insert lewd winking face here. Honestly, being my sugar daddy is just supplying me with the money I need for unlimited lap dances and happy endings at the gay bars. My career is going to flop by the end of 2007 when the world realizes that I am nothing more than Flukey Lukey and Old School was just a miracle. However, I will gladly let you touch, strip, or take me to a drag show if that's what sugar daddy means to you.

It's not that I don't appreciate her, the cute thing that she is, but it's more of an "awr how cute" appreciate, whereas with your pictures, yes, it's an "mmm diddles my bean" appreciation. Haha asexual. My poor manhood, no action for you. HAHA HEY I am trying to lose that weight, it is just being stubborn because I like my sweets and sodium, okay. Do not judge me Mr. Well-Defined. No, plz sign my tightie whities with something along the lines of "I wuz hurr, xoxo Matthew". Okay, I am done with the gay jokes. Haha, you know that Amelia Warner won't let that happen. Next time, she will pay 10 fatties with ice cream if she has to. Just keep updating, old man.

[zdeschanel]

hahaha thanks a lot luke wilson.

[wilsonluke]

Hahah I am sorry, Zooey Deschanel. You are adorable but I cannot deny my love of Matthew straddling furniture and making obscene hip gestures. I hope you understand.

[zdeschanel]

why is this the sixth time this week someone has tossed me aside for matthew straddling something.

[wilsonluke]

Those other five times were Zach Braff, huh? If so, that is your answer right there.

[mcconaughey]

Ajkfdjkhdfk, you liar.

[zdeschanel]

haha get out of here, mr. first billing.