(no subject)
oh no. im in a sad mood. i hate these moods. but at the moment i feel like im gonna crash and just fall apart. i really dont know what to do right now, i already updated tonight but i just had to do it again because im gonna go crazy if i dont.
im so upset.. i just need someone to talk to. i talked to britt a little while ago and she made me feel 3242093480923843x better. but i still feel like crap and i dont know what im gonna do about anything anymore and i feel so lost and lonely and like im gonna fricken explode.
my summer sucked. it was the worst summer of my life. i hate going back to school and i hate that its over because it feel like it never even happened. up north was awesome though, just getting away from everything. it was really nice. but now that im back its just overwhelming. its horrible. i dont want to go back to school. i hate being fricken stressed out with homework and grades and teachers and stupid drama with the people that i have to fricken deal with.
*i wish summer wasnt going to end so soon.
*i wish my mom was all better & that she wouldnt haveta go through all this. she doesnt deserve anything shes had to put up with this past year. i dont understand why things to horrible could happen to an awesome person like she is. shes defenitely my role model. i look up to my mom for everything. if i need advice ill ask her and i feel comfortable because i know ill get the truth, not just what i want to hear. i love my mom, and my dad too. i look up to my dad alot because he treats my mom how a girl should be treated. i never once saw my dad do anything hurtful to her and thats the way it should be. when two people are in love you can tell. i know my dad loves my mom and would do anything for her, heck ive witnessed it through this past year hes been there and has been holding everything, and i mean EVERYTHING together. hes amazing. and my mom is the strongest person i know, because shes put up with so much. i hope something amazing happens to her soon, because she doesnt deserve any of this. i love my parents and i wouldnt trade them for the world. i look up to them and im glad that i can honestly say that they are my heroes and that i love them so much.
* i wish i could be in a good/fun/loving relationship. i know that sounds weird but its so true. i wish i could find someone who i want to be with, and who wants to be with me. im sick of all this little "oh i like you" ..okay i like you too and then thats that. nothing happens, or ever will. i want someone who can make me laugh. who i can trust. who can be a best friend. who can be there for me through thick and thin. who loves me for me. and who actually cares about me. if i can find a guy like that, he'd be perfect. and id love him with everything id have. but its not always that simple and easy, now is it?
* i wish i had more friends who i can honestly trust. i only have about 3 or 4 who i can tell anything to and who i can trust with my life. those few i know are there for me and actually care about me. i wouldnt trade them for the world and im so glad to have them by my side.
* i wish i could see my grandpa again. i miss him so much.. its crazy. what id do for one more day with him. he was such an amazing guy. why did god have to take him so soon. i just cant wait to see his face again, and to be with him. but i guess someday that will happen again. just not soon enough.
whatever im done with this. i cried today. yes me. crying. that doesnt happen often, or like ever, at all. i dont cry over anything. which can be good. but it sucked. i just thought about my mom and all thats happening to her and couldnt take it, i broke down. i hate being sad. i love being happy and just so free and how i feel like nothing in the world matters and that i can just be satisfied with my life and how things are going. but at the moment, im not satisfied at all. my life actually sucks. i keep saying this and i dont know if it ever will but i cant wait for something good to finally happen. i mean enough bad stuff has happened, when are things gonna finally turn around?
...okay im done. gosh why am i so emo sometimes
im sucha fag
whatever
byeeeee
<333
im so upset.. i just need someone to talk to. i talked to britt a little while ago and she made me feel 3242093480923843x better. but i still feel like crap and i dont know what im gonna do about anything anymore and i feel so lost and lonely and like im gonna fricken explode.
my summer sucked. it was the worst summer of my life. i hate going back to school and i hate that its over because it feel like it never even happened. up north was awesome though, just getting away from everything. it was really nice. but now that im back its just overwhelming. its horrible. i dont want to go back to school. i hate being fricken stressed out with homework and grades and teachers and stupid drama with the people that i have to fricken deal with.
*i wish summer wasnt going to end so soon.
*i wish my mom was all better & that she wouldnt haveta go through all this. she doesnt deserve anything shes had to put up with this past year. i dont understand why things to horrible could happen to an awesome person like she is. shes defenitely my role model. i look up to my mom for everything. if i need advice ill ask her and i feel comfortable because i know ill get the truth, not just what i want to hear. i love my mom, and my dad too. i look up to my dad alot because he treats my mom how a girl should be treated. i never once saw my dad do anything hurtful to her and thats the way it should be. when two people are in love you can tell. i know my dad loves my mom and would do anything for her, heck ive witnessed it through this past year hes been there and has been holding everything, and i mean EVERYTHING together. hes amazing. and my mom is the strongest person i know, because shes put up with so much. i hope something amazing happens to her soon, because she doesnt deserve any of this. i love my parents and i wouldnt trade them for the world. i look up to them and im glad that i can honestly say that they are my heroes and that i love them so much.
* i wish i could be in a good/fun/loving relationship. i know that sounds weird but its so true. i wish i could find someone who i want to be with, and who wants to be with me. im sick of all this little "oh i like you" ..okay i like you too and then thats that. nothing happens, or ever will. i want someone who can make me laugh. who i can trust. who can be a best friend. who can be there for me through thick and thin. who loves me for me. and who actually cares about me. if i can find a guy like that, he'd be perfect. and id love him with everything id have. but its not always that simple and easy, now is it?
* i wish i had more friends who i can honestly trust. i only have about 3 or 4 who i can tell anything to and who i can trust with my life. those few i know are there for me and actually care about me. i wouldnt trade them for the world and im so glad to have them by my side.
* i wish i could see my grandpa again. i miss him so much.. its crazy. what id do for one more day with him. he was such an amazing guy. why did god have to take him so soon. i just cant wait to see his face again, and to be with him. but i guess someday that will happen again. just not soon enough.
whatever im done with this. i cried today. yes me. crying. that doesnt happen often, or like ever, at all. i dont cry over anything. which can be good. but it sucked. i just thought about my mom and all thats happening to her and couldnt take it, i broke down. i hate being sad. i love being happy and just so free and how i feel like nothing in the world matters and that i can just be satisfied with my life and how things are going. but at the moment, im not satisfied at all. my life actually sucks. i keep saying this and i dont know if it ever will but i cant wait for something good to finally happen. i mean enough bad stuff has happened, when are things gonna finally turn around?
...okay im done. gosh why am i so emo sometimes
im sucha fag
whatever
byeeeee
<333