The stony path of life (7/?)
(5 months later)
I never knew you before, I've never seen that sweet smil
Or those eyes that dazzled from about a mile away.
I never smelled that sweet scent that followed you everywhere you went
Or even had the chance to call you mine.
Im sitting in the cafeteria with Teddy. She went on a date yesterday and it seems to me like she really enjoyed the evening. We’re laughing about his cute nervousness when Mark approaches us.
,,Hey Mark, what’s up?’’ I greet him.
,,AZ, I need to talk to you! Immediately!’’ he says. I’m a little bit worried. He doesn’t look happy. Not een a little bit.
,,Ok. Er … Teddy, I’ll be back in a minute.’’ I say before I leave with Mark. He doesn’t say anything while he leads me to the next on-call room and pushes me inside
,,Mark, I like you, but how often do I have to tell you that this is not gonna happen.’’ I just can’t help it. He’s so much fun to tease. But this time he doesn’t laugh or defend himself. That has me really, really worried.
,,Arizona, Callie is back!’’ he announces. Ok, now I get why he acted the way he did.
,,What?’’ I whisper disbelieving.
,,She’s back. She called me a few minutes ago and told me that the chief saved her the job and that she will start working here again tomorrow. And she’s coming here today to sign her contract. I just thought you should know.’’
I need to sit down. I can’t believe it. After 5 months. I’m gonna see her again. I really don’t know if I should be happy or scared about that. I mean, I waited for her to come back for so long and now she’s here and she’ll work here again and I’m gonna talk to her and …
,,AZ, are you ok?’’ I look up. Mark watches me worried.
,,Yeah, I’m … fine. I guess I just didn’t think she’d be back so soon. I mean, her letter sounded like she’d be gone for years …’’ I ramble. Now I smile. She’s back. I need to find her right now. I run out of the on-call room, ignoring Mark calling me back. When I arrive in the lobby I recogniz her immediately though she has her back to me. She looks stunning. Suddenly I realise that she’s holding someone else’s hand. She leans towards her and kisses her.
Now I look back and regret all the missed hous I spent
Watching my life just pass me by.
Now you’re with somebody new and there’s nothing I can do,
Just sit back and watch you smile!
No, no … this can’t be happening! She can’t be … no! She turns around and spots me. As soon as our eyes meet I run away. When I round the corner I run directly in Mark’s arms. He guides me back into the on-call room and holds me tight. I cry in his arms.
,,Sh, it’s ok, Arizona. Let it out.’’ He whispers in my ear
,,You knew it!’’ I cry. ,,You tried to tell me, to warn me but I didn’t listen!’’
,,Yeah, I knew it.’’ He admids.
There’s a knock on the door. We don’t answer but still it opens. Calliope peeks inside. I hide behind Mark when she enters the room.
,,Hey …’’ she says. I wipe the tears off of my face. She doesn’t need to see them. I don’t want her to see me cry.
,,Mark, could you leave us alone please?’’ I ask him silently. He just nods and leaves. We’re alone. Silence settles around us.
,,So,’’ she begins, ,,how are you?’’
,,Good!’’ I lie. Again silence. Suddenly I burst into tears. ,,I’m so sorry, Calliope! I know, I shouldn’t have left you! After you were gone I felt like I couldn’t breath anymore. I can’t live without you! I still love you so much! And you … you …’’ I sit on the bed. I feel her watching me intently.
,,Arizona, I’m truly sorry!’’ she begins. I know where this conersation will lead. ,,I’m sorry I just left. I’m sorry I lied about my whereabouts. I’m sorry I never called. But mostly I’m sorry that you are hurt now! I moved on. You broke up with me. I still love you, but I found someone else. Someone who I also love and who loves me. It’s too late, Ari. I’m happy!’’
I look up at her. She really looks happy. That breaks my heart. But I’m happy for her.
,,That’s great, Calliope! I’m happy for you!’’ I whisper before getting up and leaving. I lost her!
It’s like everywhere I go I know you’ll always gonna be there,
But you don’t see me there.
And as I try to walk by you all you ever seem to do
Is move away from me.
The next days I tried to avoid her as much as possible but somehow she always appeared behind me or next to me. We don’t talk. Normally one of us leaves after a second. It’s really hard for me but I don’t want to fight for her! I mena, I want to but I just can’t. I can’t so this when she is happy with someone else. It would be selfish to ask her to take me back. So I decide to try to be friends with her. I enter ,,our’’ on-call room and page her. After a few minutes she comes in as well.
,,Hey!’’ she says.
,,Hey!’’ I replie. ,,Look, I’m sorry I reacted the way I did the other day. I had no right to cry. I don’t know why I thought you and I would get back together when you came back. I should’ve known you’d move on …’’
,,Arizona …’’
,,And I shouldn’t have waited for you. I should have moved on as well. I realised now that we will never be lovers again. But I’d like to start again as friends! I just … I don’t want to have to avoid you all the time. So … What do you think?’’ I finish. She looks at me in surprise.
,,Wow! Ari, to be honest I expected you to, you know .. er … cry again or something like that …’’ she says ashamedly. I laugh. ,,But yeah, I’d like to be friends with you!’’ she smiles.
,,Great!’’ I say. ,,Now how about we grab a few drinks at Joe’s after work? I’d like to catch up a bit. My shift ends at 7. yours?’’
,,Mine too!’’ she replies. ,,I just have to call Kate before.’’ she hesitates.
,,Ok, I’ll wait for you in the lobby.’’ I say. ,,Now I need to get back to my kids. I have to operate in an hour.’’
,,Yeah, I have to get back to my patients as well.’’
,,So, we’ll meet at 7. Thank you, Calliope!’’ I say. She smiles and leaves and I kinda feel better. At least I’m gonna be able to talk to her again. But I don’t know how I’ll handle seeing her with her new girlfriend, Kate. I can only try to be selfless and be happy that she found love!
Now I look back and regret all the missed hous I spent
Watching my life just pass me by.
Now you’re with somebody new and there’s nothing I can do,
Just sit back and watch you smile!