Once In A Blue Moon
So many meanings in this subject header. Obviously I rarely update these days. There is a ton going on with my life, but I'd honestly rather directly talk to my friends than have them passively read what I post.
In most cases, that isn't possible ... and I understand that people don't have the time to call me. I'm also not a phone person. But still, the conversations are much more dynamic.
Saturday night I went to Nicole's artshow in the lounge of Harlow's. Her photography kicked serious ass. It was awesome. She really has a great eye. Her photos were of the old forts in the Marin Headlands. I've always been wanting to go *back* there, but never wanted to go by myself.
When I was an undergrad, Matt and I went up there. But I've not been back since. Nicole just up and decided to go one day, and by herself.
I love traveling, but I always do it alone. In fact, I feel very alone and this naturally makes me sad. I don't want a large group, but I've been putting in horribly long hours at work. There is always gonna be way to much work. Having somebody special in my life again would make it easier for me to punch out, leave work at work, and then do other things.
After the art show, whatever the normal Saturday Harlow's club started up and I stuck around with Sam and her new boyfriend Eric. I ended up talking to one woman and got her email. It was so HARD for me to summon up the nerve to do that.
It is funny. I have no problem dancing. I don't care how I look. That I do for myself because I love music. But I am convinced that I'm an ugly duckling. To be honest, I don't think anything will come of the email. If it does, cool. If it doesn't, nothing ventured, nothing gained. I'm so anxious about the email though ... as lately I've been thinking about advice Bonnie gave me years ago when she said she felt I needed to be in a relationship in which somebody really was into me. I saw the wisdom of what she was suggesting then, but now more than ever I'd love to have somebody special who I could plan trips to interesting places with. Somebody who I can feel free to talk to about anything, and who feels the same way about me. I just have to let down my shields more ... but I don't do so because of my low self imagine. It is going to be hard on me for a week or two, but it is self inflicted.
Other news, I bought a second bicycle for $5 on Saturday morning at the UC Davis Fall Bike Auction. I've spent $7 buying new tubes for the wheels, replaced one of them today.
I had to fix my broken fence today too! And got the front of the house mostly decorated for Halloween.
One of my neighbor's "Booed" my house. So I need to get some candy together and "Boo" a couple of my neighbors. That is cool. I love it that somebody on the street has the Halloween spirit.
The next door neighbors and people across the street both have 2 boys each. I bought a 5 pack of Halloween matchbox cars ... actually 3 sets, one for me, one for Nolan and Mason (my nephews), and one to split for the neighbor kids.
In most cases, that isn't possible ... and I understand that people don't have the time to call me. I'm also not a phone person. But still, the conversations are much more dynamic.
Saturday night I went to Nicole's artshow in the lounge of Harlow's. Her photography kicked serious ass. It was awesome. She really has a great eye. Her photos were of the old forts in the Marin Headlands. I've always been wanting to go *back* there, but never wanted to go by myself.
When I was an undergrad, Matt and I went up there. But I've not been back since. Nicole just up and decided to go one day, and by herself.
I love traveling, but I always do it alone. In fact, I feel very alone and this naturally makes me sad. I don't want a large group, but I've been putting in horribly long hours at work. There is always gonna be way to much work. Having somebody special in my life again would make it easier for me to punch out, leave work at work, and then do other things.
After the art show, whatever the normal Saturday Harlow's club started up and I stuck around with Sam and her new boyfriend Eric. I ended up talking to one woman and got her email. It was so HARD for me to summon up the nerve to do that.
It is funny. I have no problem dancing. I don't care how I look. That I do for myself because I love music. But I am convinced that I'm an ugly duckling. To be honest, I don't think anything will come of the email. If it does, cool. If it doesn't, nothing ventured, nothing gained. I'm so anxious about the email though ... as lately I've been thinking about advice Bonnie gave me years ago when she said she felt I needed to be in a relationship in which somebody really was into me. I saw the wisdom of what she was suggesting then, but now more than ever I'd love to have somebody special who I could plan trips to interesting places with. Somebody who I can feel free to talk to about anything, and who feels the same way about me. I just have to let down my shields more ... but I don't do so because of my low self imagine. It is going to be hard on me for a week or two, but it is self inflicted.
Other news, I bought a second bicycle for $5 on Saturday morning at the UC Davis Fall Bike Auction. I've spent $7 buying new tubes for the wheels, replaced one of them today.
I had to fix my broken fence today too! And got the front of the house mostly decorated for Halloween.
One of my neighbor's "Booed" my house. So I need to get some candy together and "Boo" a couple of my neighbors. That is cool. I love it that somebody on the street has the Halloween spirit.
The next door neighbors and people across the street both have 2 boys each. I bought a 5 pack of Halloween matchbox cars ... actually 3 sets, one for me, one for Nolan and Mason (my nephews), and one to split for the neighbor kids.