title: insomnia
category: gen? slash? take it as you will.
bandom: MCR
warnings: swearing (should I warn about that?)
author's note: a poem. I don't usually write them but this came out as a poem. *shrugs*
summary: a restless night.
insomnia
run
run
runrunrunrunrun
always running
hamster-thoughts
why
why
why
can't i
shut
my
brain
off
for one
night
hour
minute even
but no
running
rolling rolling rolling
rawhide
i hate
hatehatehate
my
brain
sometimes
the rolling
rambling
stumbling
tumble of
thoughts
images
every
fucking
thing
flittering wings through my
head with-
out filters
or breaks
or even pauses
for breath just
speeding along
a long night
of no
sleep
pacing (too loud)
images (no light)
words (can't think)
company (they sleep)
i need
needneedneed
some thing
body
one
any thing
body
one
no
not any
just
one
Him
but
butbutbut
no
just
rockingrockingrocking
hands
in hair
teeth
clenched
grinding frustrated
syllables into
silence
too
scattered
too
busy
too
cyclical
tootootootoo
fuck
fuckfuckfuck
my stupid
fucking
brain
whywhywhywhywhy can't i
stop
arms
what
who
blinkblinkblink
Him
His
arms
soothe
stroking
calming
they slow down my
running thoughts
rein them in,
direct the frantic circling
into corralled containment.
Fingers relax tense muscles then
massage my scalp, my brain, my thoughts
into order, into stillness,
into heavy lidded blinking,
and finally
sleep.
Note: formatting this was really really really annoying. Why can't LJ be more friendly?