You're the reason I can't control myself. You are the reason.
I'd like to have some questions, and maybe even some answers why this recent relapse finally happened. Why everything now seems so much brighter than the day before. Why, in that one moment I cried out to God hoping He would listen to rid these demons I harbor, He decided to listen and finally ease my soul. Why these dreams, and why this girl in just about every one of them. Why this time, why now?
But I find myself dismissing these questions without any want of an answer. Somewhere my body is acting on the reason that it's meant to be this way and that I should finally let go. I didn't think I was holding on anymore, but I guess I was. In one of those secret little places that I keep hidden from the world. Oh well, it's all out now and I'm starting to feel... nothing that would drag me down.
If only I werent afraid of pursuing two things at once, or if I didn't feel like there isn't a girl in my 50 mile radius that could possibly worth my time. There's only one my heart is screaming for and I honestly don't know why. Maybe it's the history. Maybe it's the chemistry, or the comfort I feel. Or even that it's just because I actually somehow have a chance. I'm only nervous and skittish with people I actually appreciate. I'm all confident otherwise. You're the reason I can't control myself.
I'm feeling better. The universe isn't bearing down on my shoulders anymore. I just panicked at the weightlessness of the whole situation. And now that I'm free, I don't know what to do with myself. My heart says this way, My soul says another, and for once my mind is relatively neutral and sort of wants to do both.
Oh joy.
But I find myself dismissing these questions without any want of an answer. Somewhere my body is acting on the reason that it's meant to be this way and that I should finally let go. I didn't think I was holding on anymore, but I guess I was. In one of those secret little places that I keep hidden from the world. Oh well, it's all out now and I'm starting to feel... nothing that would drag me down.
If only I werent afraid of pursuing two things at once, or if I didn't feel like there isn't a girl in my 50 mile radius that could possibly worth my time. There's only one my heart is screaming for and I honestly don't know why. Maybe it's the history. Maybe it's the chemistry, or the comfort I feel. Or even that it's just because I actually somehow have a chance. I'm only nervous and skittish with people I actually appreciate. I'm all confident otherwise. You're the reason I can't control myself.
I'm feeling better. The universe isn't bearing down on my shoulders anymore. I just panicked at the weightlessness of the whole situation. And now that I'm free, I don't know what to do with myself. My heart says this way, My soul says another, and for once my mind is relatively neutral and sort of wants to do both.
Oh joy.