Accidentally In Love. Maybe?
I'm going to tell you about the first time I actually knew what love was.
And where I first saw it.
Imagine the eigth grade Paco you all never knew.
Sweet little churchy boy.
No cursing, still relatively innocent.
Loved cookies and honey buns.
Played the piano for hours a day even though he had no reason to.
Tons of friends to choose from,
and yet he was with the same people everyday.
I woke up one morning during a church getaway into the woods of Alabama.
Remer, Alabama, to be exact. Fort Faith.
My best friend at the time, Robert Fenner, the best guitarist I ever knew, wanted me to sing my rendition of 'The Pillsbury Dough Boy', one of the many things that we created in our hours together.
I remember waiting for him to get up.
I was outside, and the sun was shining brightly.
My dear friend Grace walked over and sat with me.
And we started talking.
The more we talked, the more I began to notice a particular something about her eyes.
Now, with us not having talked this much in depth before, I payed close attention to what was going on in my head. I told myself, 'Her eyes look like tree rings. How beautiful'
I found myself thinking about her more and more as the day went on.
And the same for her.
We spent the better part of three days together, her and I.
Hanging out with our friends, singing, dancing, eating, extreme cup stacking.
The good stuff.
It wasn't until that fateful bus ride home that I noticed my chest beating.
She fell asleep on my shoulder, and I cradled her.
It was one of the best things I've ever felt.
And maybe two weeks or so later, we were dating.
We were each others first bf/gf.
But I had a month or so left in Florida before I moved to NC.
So I spent every free moment I could with my dear Gracie.
Movies, church, walks, her house, Robert's house - wherever.
I have the notes we wrote back and forth to each other.
They still make me tingle a bit.
And now when I think of 'love', I think of that moment when I looked in her eyes and saw something amazing.
For me, I'm going to call it love when I become infatuated with the eyes. Beautiful eyes are my downfall.
But I've grown, and it's a personality thing too.
Common interests aren't that bad.
Looks are a bit less tight than they have been, but it's not like I've been pulling perfect tens my whole dating career.
Southern accents, goofy behaviors, and belches that make me turn and stare are definite turn ons.
But for love, I want to define it.
The kind of love I think I have now, I can't explain.
I want to, but it's not making itself clear.
I know why I love this person, but I'm not exactly sure how.
Or even if it's just me trying to make gold out of salt water and caterpillars.
I would like to know if I have or can find 'true love', instead of the mutual or sibling love I so frequently dig up.
S♥
Sometimes I think you and I are made for each other.
When things go right, they're wonderful.
But then there are days when you feel like crap, and I want to sleep,
and it's best if neither of us talk about anything at all.
Or there are times like that evil sunday (which it is now called by me),
where we go through stuff that probably shouldn't happen.
I don't know if I can ever really 'move on' from this love,
because it's intrigued me so much the past few months,
but I'm not sure if I can 'love' another person who isn't you, or at least someone who makes me feel the way that you and Grace did.
In my opinion, Lauren and Rebecca are two seperate categories seperate from discussion, but still very importsnt people in my life, simply because they're too mysterious to explain. I can't call them a concrete love, but I can call them 'love' in the sense that two people were happy together and have continued to be on good terms since.
I want the love that rattles my bones every time that I look into your eyes.
getting that chance to have this feeling makes all the difference in the world.
And where I first saw it.
Imagine the eigth grade Paco you all never knew.
Sweet little churchy boy.
No cursing, still relatively innocent.
Loved cookies and honey buns.
Played the piano for hours a day even though he had no reason to.
Tons of friends to choose from,
and yet he was with the same people everyday.
I woke up one morning during a church getaway into the woods of Alabama.
Remer, Alabama, to be exact. Fort Faith.
My best friend at the time, Robert Fenner, the best guitarist I ever knew, wanted me to sing my rendition of 'The Pillsbury Dough Boy', one of the many things that we created in our hours together.
I remember waiting for him to get up.
I was outside, and the sun was shining brightly.
My dear friend Grace walked over and sat with me.
And we started talking.
The more we talked, the more I began to notice a particular something about her eyes.
Now, with us not having talked this much in depth before, I payed close attention to what was going on in my head. I told myself, 'Her eyes look like tree rings. How beautiful'
I found myself thinking about her more and more as the day went on.
And the same for her.
We spent the better part of three days together, her and I.
Hanging out with our friends, singing, dancing, eating, extreme cup stacking.
The good stuff.
It wasn't until that fateful bus ride home that I noticed my chest beating.
She fell asleep on my shoulder, and I cradled her.
It was one of the best things I've ever felt.
And maybe two weeks or so later, we were dating.
We were each others first bf/gf.
But I had a month or so left in Florida before I moved to NC.
So I spent every free moment I could with my dear Gracie.
Movies, church, walks, her house, Robert's house - wherever.
I have the notes we wrote back and forth to each other.
They still make me tingle a bit.
And now when I think of 'love', I think of that moment when I looked in her eyes and saw something amazing.
For me, I'm going to call it love when I become infatuated with the eyes. Beautiful eyes are my downfall.
But I've grown, and it's a personality thing too.
Common interests aren't that bad.
Looks are a bit less tight than they have been, but it's not like I've been pulling perfect tens my whole dating career.
Southern accents, goofy behaviors, and belches that make me turn and stare are definite turn ons.
But for love, I want to define it.
The kind of love I think I have now, I can't explain.
I want to, but it's not making itself clear.
I know why I love this person, but I'm not exactly sure how.
Or even if it's just me trying to make gold out of salt water and caterpillars.
I would like to know if I have or can find 'true love', instead of the mutual or sibling love I so frequently dig up.
S♥
Sometimes I think you and I are made for each other.
When things go right, they're wonderful.
But then there are days when you feel like crap, and I want to sleep,
and it's best if neither of us talk about anything at all.
Or there are times like that evil sunday (which it is now called by me),
where we go through stuff that probably shouldn't happen.
I don't know if I can ever really 'move on' from this love,
because it's intrigued me so much the past few months,
but I'm not sure if I can 'love' another person who isn't you, or at least someone who makes me feel the way that you and Grace did.
In my opinion, Lauren and Rebecca are two seperate categories seperate from discussion, but still very importsnt people in my life, simply because they're too mysterious to explain. I can't call them a concrete love, but I can call them 'love' in the sense that two people were happy together and have continued to be on good terms since.
I want the love that rattles my bones every time that I look into your eyes.
getting that chance to have this feeling makes all the difference in the world.