The end of all things to come.
Nothings "Alright" anymore.
Nothings just "Ok".
Why the fuck do i even bother with people?
I have a habit of choosing some very wrong people to befriend, and some very very right people.
The bad people however, will be ridiculed in this next live journal entry, made.. By myself.
I have a habit of letting bad people into my life, whom choose to welcome themselves in, take what they want, and leaving me with nothing but an empty heart.
Today, i feel as if im the most vile creature ever to come to this earth. Tomorrow will be no different. I'll just be the same big fat ug. Like today. And the day before that.. etc.
I've had enough of feeling like shit.
This year was meant to be my year..
HA! Fat chance of that happening now.
I've already gone through hell, and its not even fucking February!
I mustn't be as important and special to people, and they let on.
If you can just do shit to hurt me, over and over again, then i mustn't mean much at fucking all to you.
At this point of my rant, i must say im feeling pretty fucking lost right now. I feel as though no one gives a fuck and you know what? It hurts.. Just a little..
I am SO fucking sick of having no say in whom comes into my life.
Im contemplating stupid childish things right about now..
IE:- When i go to Melbourne in 18 days, just not coming back.
I really can't cope with alot of shit right now, and i can't even talk to people about whats plaguing me, as they just have rude shit to say, or pull a random phrase out of their arse.. Or just genuinely don't know how to help me out.
I don't expect people to solve my problems, i don't even expect them to try.
But lying to me, to make me feel just a tad better about myself isn't a really smart, nor safe option at this point in time.
I don't want to sound like an emo, even though im going to justify i practically am in a second. BUT..
I don't even want to b e here at the moment, people are making me feel like everything i do is a sin. Every time i get sad, or cut, is over something "Pathetic" and i have a really good life. I know i have a good life, but i have a mental problem. CANT YOU GET THAT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING HEAD?!
I am pathetic. And you know what? If you have a problem with it, take a hike.
I've had to deal with so many peoples useless problems this year, its about fucking time someone heard about whats grinding my gears, and making me a mindless drone.
Karma is a royal cunt. And i strongly believe in it.
Im living my worst fear and no one seems to understand that. No matter how much i try to explain my problems.
I hate what I've become.
Nothings just "Ok".
Why the fuck do i even bother with people?
I have a habit of choosing some very wrong people to befriend, and some very very right people.
The bad people however, will be ridiculed in this next live journal entry, made.. By myself.
I have a habit of letting bad people into my life, whom choose to welcome themselves in, take what they want, and leaving me with nothing but an empty heart.
Today, i feel as if im the most vile creature ever to come to this earth. Tomorrow will be no different. I'll just be the same big fat ug. Like today. And the day before that.. etc.
I've had enough of feeling like shit.
This year was meant to be my year..
HA! Fat chance of that happening now.
I've already gone through hell, and its not even fucking February!
I mustn't be as important and special to people, and they let on.
If you can just do shit to hurt me, over and over again, then i mustn't mean much at fucking all to you.
At this point of my rant, i must say im feeling pretty fucking lost right now. I feel as though no one gives a fuck and you know what? It hurts.. Just a little..
I am SO fucking sick of having no say in whom comes into my life.
Im contemplating stupid childish things right about now..
IE:- When i go to Melbourne in 18 days, just not coming back.
I really can't cope with alot of shit right now, and i can't even talk to people about whats plaguing me, as they just have rude shit to say, or pull a random phrase out of their arse.. Or just genuinely don't know how to help me out.
I don't expect people to solve my problems, i don't even expect them to try.
But lying to me, to make me feel just a tad better about myself isn't a really smart, nor safe option at this point in time.
I don't want to sound like an emo, even though im going to justify i practically am in a second. BUT..
I don't even want to b e here at the moment, people are making me feel like everything i do is a sin. Every time i get sad, or cut, is over something "Pathetic" and i have a really good life. I know i have a good life, but i have a mental problem. CANT YOU GET THAT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING HEAD?!
I am pathetic. And you know what? If you have a problem with it, take a hike.
I've had to deal with so many peoples useless problems this year, its about fucking time someone heard about whats grinding my gears, and making me a mindless drone.
Karma is a royal cunt. And i strongly believe in it.
Im living my worst fear and no one seems to understand that. No matter how much i try to explain my problems.
I hate what I've become.