Continuing...
While talking to some friends and again while responding to FliP's last post, I came to accept something. Tina has Left me emotionally destroyed. Just utter destruction. She violated my whole world as to what I held true. If you had asked me a month ago if Tina would ever cheat on me, I would have responded, "absolutely not, but even if she did, she would have to tell me because she could never hide that from me". I thought the one thing in my life that was true was that Tina would never lie to me. If the whole world failed me and I looked for something true, it would have been anything T told me. I mean, now I feel the need to look back at the last 19 months, because she could have been lying the entire time.
And do you know the absolute worst part is? I would still do anything for her. She could continually destroy me and still...I would be there. I am such an asshole for loving her that much, but what can I say, people can't decide who they love or how much. All I can do is try not to let this happen to me with another girl. I know I am gonna be all fucked up with other girls now too. Not trusting them, not believing them...all because of what she did to me. I just don't know. My heart was shattered into a million pieces, and I still can't find some of them.
Gone
by Ben Folds
I thought I'd write, I thought I'd let you know
That the year since you've been gone I've finally let you go
And I hope you find some time to drop a note
But if you won't
Then you won't
And I will consider you gone
I know that you went straight to someone else
While I worked through all this shit here by myself
And I think that you should spend some time alone
But if you won't
Then you won't
And I will consider you gone
I wake up in the night
All alone and it's alright
The chemicals are wearing off
Since you've gone
The days go on, the lights go off and on
And nothing really matters when you're gone
If you think that you feel nothing at all
If you don't (If you don't)
Then you don't (No, you won't)
If you won't
Then you won't
And I will
Then I will
Yeah, and I will consider you gone
And do you know the absolute worst part is? I would still do anything for her. She could continually destroy me and still...I would be there. I am such an asshole for loving her that much, but what can I say, people can't decide who they love or how much. All I can do is try not to let this happen to me with another girl. I know I am gonna be all fucked up with other girls now too. Not trusting them, not believing them...all because of what she did to me. I just don't know. My heart was shattered into a million pieces, and I still can't find some of them.
Gone
by Ben Folds
I thought I'd write, I thought I'd let you know
That the year since you've been gone I've finally let you go
And I hope you find some time to drop a note
But if you won't
Then you won't
And I will consider you gone
I know that you went straight to someone else
While I worked through all this shit here by myself
And I think that you should spend some time alone
But if you won't
Then you won't
And I will consider you gone
I wake up in the night
All alone and it's alright
The chemicals are wearing off
Since you've gone
The days go on, the lights go off and on
And nothing really matters when you're gone
If you think that you feel nothing at all
If you don't (If you don't)
Then you don't (No, you won't)
If you won't
Then you won't
And I will
Then I will
Yeah, and I will consider you gone