(no subject)
i have a million things i want to say, and nothing to say all at once.
not to be critical, but i'm a little over everyone writing in their journals and away messages how much they miss they're boyfriends/girlfriends. i know its hard...believe me, i know. but to these people i say, be thankful for what you have. appreciate that you've seen them for more than 1 day all of summer or will be seeing them before you go back. in the going on 8 months i've been with brian we've been apart for more than 4 of them, and even when we're at school we're to busy to see each other sometimes. i have never spent one whole day with him. i went to visit brian before i came to dc, i got there at 4:30pm on a friday, and left at 1:30pm the next day. and several of those hours i spent asleep in his sisters room. so stop being all like i cant live without this person and get over it. you'll be together soon enough at school, where you probably continue to spend more time together than i get with my boyfriend. but the words that are getting me through are "what we have is special, and the fact that we have to spend so much time apart doesnt change that." and "you know i love you, even from this many miles away." still every time i read people's messages and journals about their relationships, i get really sad. i cant seem to shake this feeling of being alone and uncared for. the only time that feeling goes away is when we're together. it's the same way i felt at school all of last semester, i become depressed and bipolar because of it. and i hate feeling so vulnerable, like i have to depend on someone else for my happiness. but the truth is, without him i have no one. i have less than a handful of people who would do anything for me. which only secures my feeling of loneliness even more.
furthermore, i must be a magnet for weirdness. people hit on me a lot, but rarely is it the really sexy guys that i like. today for example, my metro bus driver started talking to me, so i decide to be friendly and talk to him. in the 15 minutes that it takes me to get to work he decided to ask me for my number because he wanted to take me to lunch. cmon this always happens to me, and i hate to say it, but, im too good for you. i didnt say that but i was thinking it.
hmmm...theres a lot more but i have a short attention span combined with laziness so i dont feel like writing anymore right now.
not to be critical, but i'm a little over everyone writing in their journals and away messages how much they miss they're boyfriends/girlfriends. i know its hard...believe me, i know. but to these people i say, be thankful for what you have. appreciate that you've seen them for more than 1 day all of summer or will be seeing them before you go back. in the going on 8 months i've been with brian we've been apart for more than 4 of them, and even when we're at school we're to busy to see each other sometimes. i have never spent one whole day with him. i went to visit brian before i came to dc, i got there at 4:30pm on a friday, and left at 1:30pm the next day. and several of those hours i spent asleep in his sisters room. so stop being all like i cant live without this person and get over it. you'll be together soon enough at school, where you probably continue to spend more time together than i get with my boyfriend. but the words that are getting me through are "what we have is special, and the fact that we have to spend so much time apart doesnt change that." and "you know i love you, even from this many miles away." still every time i read people's messages and journals about their relationships, i get really sad. i cant seem to shake this feeling of being alone and uncared for. the only time that feeling goes away is when we're together. it's the same way i felt at school all of last semester, i become depressed and bipolar because of it. and i hate feeling so vulnerable, like i have to depend on someone else for my happiness. but the truth is, without him i have no one. i have less than a handful of people who would do anything for me. which only secures my feeling of loneliness even more.
furthermore, i must be a magnet for weirdness. people hit on me a lot, but rarely is it the really sexy guys that i like. today for example, my metro bus driver started talking to me, so i decide to be friendly and talk to him. in the 15 minutes that it takes me to get to work he decided to ask me for my number because he wanted to take me to lunch. cmon this always happens to me, and i hate to say it, but, im too good for you. i didnt say that but i was thinking it.
hmmm...theres a lot more but i have a short attention span combined with laziness so i dont feel like writing anymore right now.