Life
Well were to start...these last few weeks have been crazy. I've learned a lot about life. CHicago was amazing fun and I wish I could re live that weekend over and over........but I miss the simplicity of my home too. I first just want to make things known about me...i am not rich, i dont come from an amazing family, I dont want to be rich, and I dont pretend to be. Everything I do in life I work to do. I work my ass off for the things I want...no I dont work that hard at work my job is pretty easy but it doesn't mean I don't work hard. I waitress for my money Im not a celebrity, a rockstar...nor do I want to be. I work between 3-6 days a week, go to school 5, and mantain a semi steady relationship with my bf of almost 5 years. I have a lot on my plate and thats ok. Ive come to learnt hat if you want anything in life you have to work hard to get it and you def. cant get there without school so i attempting it. There is so much I wish I could do...I wanted to take a year off until i realized thats selfish. Me time is an excuse to be lazy and had I taken that time off I feel it would have pushed my life off schedule. I considered taking next semester off but I won't. I have to work hard for anything I want. I have also learned a lot about love. Ive decided love is simply destructive. When ever you truly get to close it explodes in your face. You can never love someone else and have it be that easy because love is an emotion I dont think we are suppose to be capable of containing. It is far to powerful to be content with. It drives people crazy until your left standing in a room with a knife to your chest crying, wondering how you even got there. There are two loves....loving and bieng in love. Everyone should encounter both. You are almost guarenteed love from the day your born but bieng in love you have to reach out and grab yourself. If you havnbt been in love by the time your even 16 your missing out on the true good in this world. It is truly better to love and lose....nothing comes close to the rush. Another thing iv'e come to realize is people are shitty. No matter who you thought they were they never are. People are cruel and life is painfull. Friends hurt you. I have learned now to never get close to anyone or share anything. Some people do not like who I am...thats great. Some people are ashamed oh how I am...thats great. I am who I am so fucking deal with it or dont bother to communicate with me...no one, NO ONE, is better then anyone. Everyone is different and that makes us unique and amazing....and I love that about the people I know. People surprise me is all I can end this on...never trust what you thought you knew. Life is lies.