Never Let Go.

[huginug]

Title: Never Let Go.
Author: Insomnia
Lenght: Oneshot
Pairing: none, Seungho/Thunder (bromance)
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Horror
Warning: Violence
Summary: Seungho and Thunder are best friends. One day mysterious kidnappings start taking place and Seungho disappears too. Weeks pass and he feels that everyone lost hope in finding their loved ones, but not Sanghyun. He will never let go.



The rays of cool November sun were shining on the rippled surface of the riverbed. Sanghyun sat on one of the benches near the waterside looking at the empty park that was surrounded by trees on the other side of the vast river. A light but chilly breeze was ruffling his hair and it was a beautiful day. It was a perfect day for a walk or a picnic with family and friends, but the park in front of Sanghyun was completely empty and he was sitting there all alone. He wasn’t scared to be alone unlike everybody else. In fact, he seemed too calm, just like the unusually peaceful nature around him. Some would say that Thunder was either brave or foolish, but the truth is, he was just empty. He felt like ever since the accident there was a hole in his chest and it was getting bigger as the days went by. Slowly his heart became numb and he stopped feeling pain or fear, and he knew that eventually that hole of his would swallow him, but he couldn’t do anything about it. So he just sat there looking at the abandoned riverside, maybe hoping for something to happen…

*

It all started a couple months ago. One day a girl from his class disappeared and three days later they even showed it on the news. It was strange because she wasn’t that kind of a person who would do anything dangerous or run away from home. A week later another person disappeared. This time it was one of the top students and some witness claimed he saw the guy walking through the park. A search theme was formed to scour the park area, but nothing was found. Another bullied student was dared to stay in the park for a whole hour. No one knows if he really went there, but the next day he started telling crazy stories about a serial killer that chased him around the whole park and that he barely got away. Of course no one believed him but later that day he disappeared too. The parents went crazy. Everyone thought it might’ve been some pervert aiming for young students and so the park was abandoned. Since then officially a total of 15 people went missing but it happened in the city and the victims were of different ages. Even the police lost hope of catching the culprit. Yet unlike the park, the streets weren’t abandoned. It was impossible because no matter what happened people still had to go to work or school and to continue living their normal lives.

“Sanghyun!” his mother shouted trying to wake her son from yet another nightmare he had been having these past months.

He jumped from the sound that was so similar to the one he heard in his dream. He felt cold sweat running down his neck as he remembered the screams of his best friend tortured in the thick darkness, but he couldn’t save him. He couldn’t find Seungho until it was too late.

“Sanghyun” she looked at her son with worry written all over her face.

“I’m okay, mom” he smiled at her, though it was a fake smile and his mother knew it.

“I’m going to make you breakfast so come down in a bit” she said clearly disappointed.

She knew that her son was having a hard time and she didn’t want to force him to talk, but she was worried he would never be the same again. She silently went out of the room when Thunder didn’t answer her.

“It’s raining again” he thought standing up and walking across the room to sit on the wide wooden windowsill.

His footsteps echoed in the darksome room and he stopped to look at the glistening raindrops sliding down the cold glass. Resting his head on the frame he slowly inhaled the scent of fresh ground coming through the slightly opened window and stared at the empty field. He watched how the strong wind blew the last leaves off the trees that were guarding the side gates of the park. He remembered how long his parents quarreled before they found this ideal two-storey house trapped between the park and a small riverbed. It was close to the city centre like his mother insisted but quiet like his father wanted. Due to the poor planning it was a rarely visited side of the park, abandoned even before the scary accidents.

It was getting brighter so he got up to open the curtains and the glass door leading to a balcony from which he could see the riverbank. He stepped onto the cold wet ground shivering at the strong wind but suddenly he felt it wasn’t the only thing he was shivering from. He scanned the territory around the river with his eyes and for a moment he thought he saw a blurry but somehow familiar figure standing near the edge of water, but his view was blocked by some of the swaying trees. He quickly moved to the handrails leaning over them to get a better view yet the figure was already gone. He sighed and looked down at the ground beneath him. Sanghyun wondered what would happen if he jumped down, even though he couldn’t do it. Not until he found Seungho. The hope of finding him was the only thing that kept him from jumping into the river that he sat by everyday. Ever since Seungho disappeared three weeks ago he sat there thinking that maybe if he used himself as bait, he would be able to find out what happened to his friend.

Suddenly he realized what the figure looked like. He ran downstairs quickly jumping into his shoes and grabbing his jacket. He ran through the field down to the riverside where he first saw the figure. He heard his mother screaming behind him but he didn’t listen
and just kneeled down looking for any kind of footsteps. Chills ran down his spine but once again he felt it wasn’t from the cold rain.

“Seungho” he whispered looking at the figure standing before him though it wasn’t Seungho at all.

It was a ghost. It only looked like his friend, at least that’s what he wanted to believe. It had such a sad face and it was so white, almost transparent. He saw how its lips moved trying to tell him something and suddenly disappeared.

“Wait!” he wanted to run after him but felt a strong grip on his shoulders that didn’t let him move.

It was his father who then picked Thunder up and carried him straight into the car. Moments later he was already at the hospital sitting at the psychologist’s office. It wasn’t a surprise for him since all the families and friends of the missing people had compulsory visits there and all of them were prescribed with the same medicine. This time he would probably get his doze doubled and nothing more. One of the psychologists came into the room.

“Hello Sanghyun” she greeted but he didn’t bother to answer.

“I heard from your parents that you’ve been having a hard time lately. Can you tell me what happened this morning?” she looked like a robot talking in that same pleasant tone to “make her patient comfortable” as he once read in a book.

“I thought I saw Seungho standing by the riverbank so I ran to check if it’s really him” he told her the truth but he already knew what her answer would be.

“You know, this medicine you are taking can cause hallucinations as a side effect. Don’t you think it’s a bit unrealistic to see your friend if he’s gone missing?”

“I suppose” he said wishing to get over with that stupid conversation.

“Listen, I don’t want to double the doze of your medicine because it’s already a big amount for such a young person. I think for the time being you have to find something to keep you away from these thoughts. Find a hobby or a part-time job. Can you do that?”

“I’ll try” he lied. “Now can I go?”

“Yes” the woman sighed knowing that there was no way to convince the boy.

But what could Thunder do? Let Seungho go? Seungho was his only friend, his best friend. And sometimes he felt that he was the only person in the world he cared for too. It was only Seungho that could make him laugh and it was Seungho that made him worry. His friend was a bit of a troublemaker, a daredevil and Thunder was a lot calmer and more mature, but it was always Seungho who took care of him. He was like a protective older brother and Thunder thought they would stay like that forever. But then Seungho disappeared. Could anyone blame him for wanting to get back the part that was ripped from his heart? No, he will never let go of him.

His father took him home and Thunder walked into the house. He stopped for a moment near the kitchen and listened to the soft sobs of his mother. It made him realize how cruel he was this whole time and that he wasn’t the only one hurting. Sanghyun went upstairs to properly wash and dress up. When he came back to the kitchen he saw his mother making dinner.

“Mom” he said waiting for her to turn around.

“What is it Sanghyun? Are you going somewhere?” she asked gasping when she saw her son all dressed up.

“Yeah, I need some fresh air...  And a job too” he saw how shocked his mother was though a flicker of hope flashed in her still watery eyes.

He smiled at her for the second time, but this time it was a real smile. He put his effort into the smile as if he felt that it was the last good thing he could give her, and then he went away.

He walked through the main street and made a big circle to get to the main gates of the central park without being noticed. The gates were locked but it was too easy to climb over them. Thunder took out a plan of the park he had kept in his pocket with red circles marked all over it. Those circles were the areas he had scoured this past week. It was his seventh time there and he got used to the scary quietude. Sanghyun walked through many parts of the park already and some of them reminded a forest because the government didn’t spend enough money for the caretaking of the park these past years. It was a bit dangerous too since, before the disappearances, some gangs used to gather there. He went through the most popular areas for gangs and students to hang out, he searched the western, eastern and central parts of the park. This time he walked to the far back, the last circle he had marked a week before. Thunder walked around for what seemed like hours, searching for something that would lead him somewhere. He looked at his wristwatch which showed that he’s been walking there for more than three hours. He didn’t feel hungry nor how cold his feet were or that his hair was soaked from the still falling rain, but he felt like he lost all hope. “Maybe that really was his ghost” Sanghyun thought shivering and wanted to slap himself gor even considering the idea of his friend being killed. Not wanting to make his mother worry, he headed towards the exit of the park. He didn’t know why, but he felt as if someone was watching him, though the medicine he drank that morning shut his body from feeling any panic. It might've been another hallucination too. He stopped a few times to look around again but after failing to find anything suspicious he jumped over the central gates and the feeling of being watched disappeared.

Thunder was walking quickly through the quite busy streets but suddenly a car passed by splashing a giant puddle right on him. He felt the water soak through his clothes and he went into the nearest shop in the centre to buy some napkins so he could wipe the water before he caught a cold. A nice old lady worked there and when she saw Thunder, she insisted that he would sit down and have some tea to warm him up. Sanghyun knew what she wanted. She was an old lonely woman who probably had no one to talk to except for her costumers and it was no surprise for him because some time ago he used to help out at the nursery home, together with Seungho. Feeling sorry for the woman and for himself, he sat to have some tea.

After half an hour of talking to the lady he decided to go home as his clothes had dried too.

“Okay, dear. It’s time for me to do some work too. I was wondering what you were doing here alone anyway. You know it’s dangerous with all that talk about missing people” she said taking out a huge butcher knife and a big piece of meat.

“I was.. Looking for a job” he said hesitantly.

“Oh, well did you take a look at the board we have here?” She pointed at the wall next to the exit.

He looked at a lot of flyers pinned to the board and read through all of them quickly but still didn’t find anything appealing.

“Oh yeah, I have one that just came in today” she opened a drawer with her bloody hands and took out a white paper.

He took it from her and looked at the blood stained paper. “Photographer’s assistant” it read and he immediately wanted that job since photography was one of his passions in childhood. He read the address and stared at it with a confusing look.

“It’s here?” he asked and the woman smiled. It looked like a scene from a horror movie: an old woman standing there with a butcher’s knife, all bloody and smiling creepily.

“It’s not, silly. This is a ten-storey building. This person lives on the 10th floor” she said and he shook off the weird feeling he had before.

“Well, thank you for the tea” Sanghyun said and walked out into the dark street. It was pouring rain so he ran hurriedly around the tall building, because he guessed he could only enter through a back door.

It was so dark in the alley that he barely found the right entrance. He walked into a light stairwell with nice walls. He got tired but there was no elevator and he climbed to the top floor of the building. There were no lights in the corridor he walked through next. He looked for a door with the right numbers. It had to be “1009” but the only ones there were “1008”, “1010” and a door with no numbers. A bit nervous for the upcoming interview, especially so late in the evening, he knocked itr. It was a weird knock like the door was not out of wood, but from metal, and very thick. He couldn’t hear a sound from the other side and just when he wanted to walk away, he heard a creak of the handle. A man opened it. He was older than Thunder, but still in his twenties.

“Can I help you?” he asked in a low voice.

“Umm” Sanghyun felt a bit awkward and just raised the paper he held in his hands for that whole time.

“Please, come in” the man said in a more pleasant voice and stepped away opening the door widely.

Sanghyun went inside and almost puked at the horrible smell.

“I’m sorry” the man quickly apologized after seeing the boy’s reaction. “I have problems with one of my neighbors. He doesn’t take out his trash, so all the flats in this floor stink like that. But the lungs get used to it after a couple of minutes” he pointed for Thunder to sit on the sofa. “Would you like some tea?”

It felt weird. The way this man talked too much and the way he looked was really creepy. He clearly hadn’t shaved his beard or washed in weeks. Thunder could guess it wasn’t the neighbor’s trash he was talking about either. He didn’t know if he wanted to work here anymore. “No, thank you. I would rather like to use the washroom now” he smiled politely at the man.

“Oh, it’s right over there, but I’ll still make some tea” he said and Sanghyun went to the bathroom.

“Persistent bastard” he muttered thinking about how he could get out of that situation politely as he hated causing awkward situations.

He turned to wash his hands after he was done with his business, but there was no water running from the faucet. He walked to the bath tub which was hidden behind a curtain hoping to find some water there. Sanghyun pushed it open and had to hold himself from screaming out loud. The whole tub was covered in blood. A body of a naked woman was lying in the middle of it. Her stomach was cut open and he didn't see anything else. He closed the currtain not bearing to look at the sight anymore. Realizing the situation he tried to keep himself calm and checked if he still had the pocket knife he had started carrying ever since the first disappearing. It was still there. He took a few deep breaths trying to calm himself down and walked out of the bathroom, just to find the man sitting on one of the armchairs.

“Your sink is broken” he said in the best voice he could do and hoped the other didn’t notice. “And you know, I decided to rethink this job offer and maybe we could do the interview some other day. I’m sorry I disturbed you so late this evening” he smiled turned around to walk to the door which, he now noticed, had at least five locks. And all of them were locked.

“It’s just for safety” he heard the man say when Thunder stopped in his tracks “You can’t be too careful with all this talk about a serial killer on the news.”

“A kidnapper. It wasn’t about killings, but kidnappings” his body froze, panic taking all over him, but he managed to turn around and look at the man.

“Oh, is that so?” he smiled at the boy. “You know, I would really like to have that interview now” he laughed and motioned for Sanghyun to walk over and he did it with heavy feet knowing he had no other choice.

“Sit” the man commanded in a deep voice when his expression changed and he stared at Thunder with a creepy grin.

Sanghyun sat and fast enough he felt that it wasn’t a normal sofa. He looked down letting his hands travel through the bumpy surface covered with a thin red cloth.

“It was initially white” he jumped in his seat when he suddenly saw the man walking to him, staring right into his eyes. His body froze again when the man started inching closer to his body. Thunder had nowhere to run. His breath hitched when he felt the man’s head over his shoulder and he was glad he went to the bathroom a few minutes ago. “You already saw it” he whispered into Sanghyun’s ear and the boy heard something rip next to his leg. Suddenly the man retreated letting him see what was under the ripped fabric of the sofa. He looked at the hole next to his leg but his body was still frozen and he couldn’t move away. He wanted to jump but his feet didn't listen to him. Bodies… Cut up, rotting and bloody body parts made into a sofa. Their blood stained the white cloth making it look so red. His whole body shivered and he couldn’t bring his head up to look at the man. The room fell into silence and just the sound of raindrops hitting the metal roof disturbed it.

“Now let’s drink some tea” the man said and he could hear the amusement in his voice. Sanghyun took the cup obediently from the coffee table but his hands were so shaky he dropped the cup and spilled everything on the ground.

The man snapped. He punched Sanghyun so hard that he fell to the ground and warm blood started trickling from his lip down onto his white coat. He forgot to take it off when he came in. That was the weirdest wake u call ever, because it suddenly made Thunder remember what he was planning that whole week in the first place. It was now on never. He felt the man’s hands on his shoulder and quickly grabbed them making him fall down, then took out his knife and tried to stab him. He managed to make a stab into his shoulder but the man grabbed him by the legs and made Thunder fall down again, then tried to take away his knife, but the boy was faster. Thunder stabbed the leg of the man and it started bleeding uncontrollably. It was a deadly wound so the man fell down trying to stop the blood before he lost too much of it. Sanghyun took out his cell phone and dialed “911” hoping the police got there fast enough and started searching through the rooms. The kitchen was empty as well as the bathroom. He went into the bedroom, but there was nothing either.

“Hello? Help me! There’s a serial killer here” he shouted into the phone when he heard a woman answer.

Only then he spotted a big closet and opened it screaming loudly when a rotting naked body of an old man fell onto him. He had to use all his force to shove it away shaking off the worms and other parasites, and then he froze. A boy was lying on the ground. He wasn’t tied up but he had red bruises on his arms. The cut ropes were lying next to him as if he had managed to take them off but didn’t have the strength to do anything further. He choked on his tears when he tried to spell the address for the police dispatcher into the phone while looking at the face of his best friend. “It’s so calm” he thought at the same moment feeling a sharp pain in his head and hearing the sound of his phone being crashed into the wall.

“Seungho” he mumbled and the first thing he heard now was the sound of rain hitting the metal roof. He opened his eyes, but all he saw was darkness. He tried moving his body and winced at the sharp headache. Sanghyun felt that his hands and legs were tied with a rope and there was a blindfold on his eyes. He used one of his childhood techniques moving his arms under his backside and legs to bring them in front and use his fingers to take off the blindfold, but it was still dark. He noted the cold floor and a small streak of light coming from the other side of the room as it was coming through the underside of the door. When his eyes got used to the dark he tried to look around. It seemed like a storage room, and the sound of rain wasn’t from the roof. It was different; more like the drops were hitting a metal windowsill. He checked his pockets but he already knew that his knife and cell phone would be gone. Somewhere between the loud pulse of headaches and the sound of raindrops he heard a voice and a siren. It was a police siren and he heard two people talking on the other side of the door.

“No officer, I’ve been living here with my dear son this whole time, but I haven’t noticed anything” the voice said.

“That voice… Were have I heard it?” Sanghyun thought and a bulb lit in his head making him shake his head in disbelief. It was no other than the old lady from the store which only meant that he was somewhere in the store right now.

“My son? Oh, he’s been away from town these past few months” she lied and Sanghyun wanted to somehow use this moment as a chance to get away, but then he saw another figure moving in the corner. It was him. Thunder doubted he noticed he regained consciousness because it looked like he was listening to the officer talking with the lady. He looked around again and spotted a sharp rasp lying not too far from him together with some other tools spread on the ground. He didn't even want to imagine what they were for. Trying to hide in the shadows without making any noise he slid through the ground to reach the rasp. He managed to take but suddenly the door opened and he was just in time to hide it in his jeans. He plopped his head to make it seem like he was still unconscious and felt how someone switched the lights on.

“Let me finish this little bastard off” he heard the man say.

“No. first you need to wash and take care of the wounds in case the police comes back. I’ll take care of the boy” she said in a gentle voice and he heard them walk away. Yet they didn’t turn the lights off. He opened his eyes and looked around again. He was alone. It was a storage room and a really bloody one. He felt sick again when he realized that the meat this lady was butchering earlier was actually human flesh. He quickly took out the rasp and started cutting off the ropes. It wasn’t easy and it hurt like hell when the rough material bruised his skin so badly that the wrists started bleeding. But he moved them anyway trying to rip it as fast as possible. When he finally managed to do it with shaky hands he untied the ropes on his legs. Suddenly he heard the steps of the old lady coming his way. Thunder grabbed the butcher’s knife she left on the shelf and without thinking charged at her the moment she opened the door. He stabbed her, though he didn’t see where, feeling how the blood splattered all over his face and chest. She didn't even scream. Her body fell down with a silent but heavy thud and she wasn't moving anymore, but panic took over him and he made three more stabs. His head was too clouded to even notice where he stabbed..

He snapped out of it when he heard a shower running in the distance but he wasn’t sure if the killer heard him or not. He sneaked out of the store and ran around the building again, slipping and falling onto the wet ground and bruising his already bloody hands and knees. He unbuttoned his soaked coat to make it easier to move and ran up to the 10th floor again. The door wasn’t locked, but there was no sign of police either which meant that they didn’t get his message. He ran to the closet and looked inside. Seungho was still lying there. Dead or not, Seungho was still his friend so he took the body and with much difficulty, got out of the flat. He ws dragging them to the stairs whe heard someone’s steps moving up the stairwell and so retreated back to the corridor. He had nowhere to hide. He tried to ring the bells of two other doors, but nobody answered. In last desperate attempt he pushed the handle of “1010” and surprisingly, it opened. He couldn’t believe it but he ran inside anyway, and closed the door behind him. He looked through the peephole and his heart jumped. It was him again.

He felt his whole body shiver but this time he knew he had nothing to lose. Seungho was dead and he didn’t care if the same happened to him too, but something made him try to survive. It wasn't the feeling of revenge though as he couldn't feel anything except helplessness at that moment, but he didn't want to think about it either. He put Seungho’s body on the ground gently and quickly went around the flat but his stomach turned when he realized the man murdered his neighbors too. He looked for a phone but all the lines were cut, there was no electricity. He went into the bedroom hoping to find any dead kids, no matter how twisted that sounded, but kids would definitely have cell phones and that's all he could think about. There weren’t any by the way. He looked through all the windows, but it was the 10th floor, there was no way he could jump. He could only wait. Maybe in the middle of the night when the killer falls asleep he could sneak through his door. It was thick anyway and he wouldn’t hear it. The plan didn't seem impossible. Now all that’s left was to wait. Except that he couldn’t do that. If he sat down he would break down and there was no need to explain why. So yeah, he still needed to finish everything off, no matter how crazy he might've seemed, he needed to save Seungho.

He went into the kitchen and found some food. Even though he didn’t want to eat and he was sure he would puke it later, he still ate. He accidentally glanced at his reflection on a metal oven and couldn't turn away. He couldn’t recognize himself anymore. It wasn’t the bloody face and clothes nor it was the way he devoured the outdated food with dirty hands, but the look. The look in his eyes was so empty, or maybe so full. Like it represented what was happening in his head and soul. At one moment it seemed like his whole insides were shaking, threatening to fall apart from so many things that he couldn't understand anything anymore. Yet the same disability to understand made him stare dumbly at himself, feeling that he was completely empty and he could just drop dead from that same helpnessness that took over his whole body. His hands started shaking but he quickly turned away and looked around to find a distraction. No matter what happened he couldn’t break down. Not until he saved Seungho. He couldn’t let him go.

Thunder took off his shoes and all his clothes except the jeans which he still ripped to make them in to shorts. He wanted to be able to move as fast as he could. He took of the ropes from the dead body he found in the bedroom and tied the half naked body of Seungho to his so it wouldn’t fall off when he runs. It was already midnight. Sanghyun stood there looking through the peephole for a few minutes before he started to move. He took a knife into his teeth and opened the door. It was hard. To sneak without a sound with another body tied to him was difficult. His heart started beating faster as he passed the room with no numbers and he slowly got to the stairwell. He was already one floor down when he wanted to catch his breath but he accidentally let the knife fall out of his mouth. He froze for what felt like eternity listening how it fell hitting numerous steps and what a loud sound it made. He started to run fast when he realized the man probably heard it too. He forgot all the weight he was carrying when the rush of adrenaline boosted him up like some energizer. Thunder ran out of the building and down the street without turning back. He didn’t care where he went as long as the man didn’t catch him.

It felt like he was running for hours until he was out of breath and his frozen feet gave up on him but he stopped only when he noticed that he reached his school. Thunder didn’t know why he went there because it was already Sunday and no one would help him there. He climbed over the fence and fell to the other side but it hit Seungho’s body.

“I’m sorry” he mumbled chuckling at himself for talking to a dead body. He thought that his mind was giving up on him too when he heard the dead boy cough. Though it didn't matter, even if it was a hallucination.

“Seungho!” he screamed in a hoarse voice taking off the ropes and shook the boy by his shoulders as his mind got brighter for a moment. “Seungho” he choked on his tears when he saw the boy opening his eyes and hugged him feeling the cold and weakly heaving chest.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry” he cried holding him but he didn’t know why he was saying sorry. He didn’t know anything. His mind was a huge mess. He had no more energy to carry him to the hospital. The images of what happened the night before were running through his mind and he crawled further from Seungho puking everything he ate earlier. He turned back to see his best friend moving his hand to search for something.

“I’m here” Sanghyun tried to shout but he lost his voice, he felt all the strength leaving his body when he wanted to get back to Seungho.  He couldn’t let him go, not when he finally woke up. He couldn’t let him die. Suddenly Thunder saw a light in the distance. He found them. He felt how his pulse raised again, his heart panicked and he wanted to jump to protect his friend but his mind went blank. The last thing he felt was how his hot forehead touched the cold muddy ground as he mumbled Seungho’s name with a hoarse throat…

*

He felt a stinging pain in his head and lungs as he opened his eyes but the light made him close them again. It took him a moment to realize he was in the hospital all bandaged and lying under a thick cloth. He turned his head to look around the room and saw another person lying in the bed next to his. It was Seungho. He couldn’t believe they were alive. He looked to the other side and saw his mother sleeping in the corner. Wincing at the pain in his wrists he pushed the red button above his head to call the doctor.

Later, after the doctor left and when his mother stopped crying, she explained everything that had happened. He was unconscious for a week. A school keeper who was checking the territory at night found them and brought them to the hospital. Seungho almost lost his life from dehydration and Sanghyun almost died from blood loss and pneumonia. The killer was caught and will probably be executed. They caught him in the same apartment after listening to the phone call he made that evening and managed to get the address. A total of 96 body leftovers were found in that flat. They were hidden under the floor and in the walls. Most body parts were butchered downstairs in his mother’s shop and she sold it as regular beef. They believe that they got into an argument and he killed his mother too. Thunder felt his body shudder as the sudden memories rushed through his mind once again but his mother interrupted them.

“And Seungho’s parents…” his mother took in a breath before continuing. “They were among the victims too. But he already knows.” She held herself from crying again. “Your father and I were thinking that maybe we could adopt him into our family, but only if he accepts it” she looked at Seungho and stood up. “The doctors said you need to rest. I’m going to the cafeteria downstairs” she said and silently went away.

“Seungho?” he turned around wincing again. “You’re not asleep, right?” he asked looking at his best friend.

“No” he heard a silent answer, but Seungho didn’t open his eyes.

He knew he wasn’t allowed to move. He felt that he had a fever and that his pneumonia still wasn’t cured. He felt how heavy his feet were when he put them on the cold hospital floor, but he needed the comfort of another body too much. He knew Seungho was watching him when Sanghyun stumbled across to his bed and he subconsciously moved to make place for the younger boy on his bed. Thunder knew that Seungho needed comfort too. He got on to the bed and snuggled to his friend pulling a blanket over them. He felt his head starting to spin when Seungho caressed his hurting back.

“When you were gone I saw you once at the riverbank. I must be crazy…”

“I was there, I think.. When I cut the ropes I felt that I was too weak to get away, I thought I was going to die, but I felt that something kept me from dying. I had a dream then that you were looking for me. I told you not to look for me anymore” he said and both stayed silent for a few minutes.

They had to say something else to each other, something that would tie them forever.

“I saw it” Seungho spoke first and his breath hitched as he looked at Sanghyun. “He killed them and I couldn’t do anything. That bitch slaughtered them right in front of my eyes” he felt how Seungho clenched his fists and couldn’t hold it in.

“I.. ” Thunder touched his cheek and looked at his hand as if it was still smeared with the blood of that woman. “I killed her” he choked out and every thud of his hearbeat felt so heavy and painfully slow, like the body of that woman falling silently onto the ground over and over again. It would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Sanghyun winced when he felt Seungho pulling him up on himself and hugged him careful not to press his aching chest too much.

“Thank you” he whispered in Thunder’s ear and the boy felt Seungho’s warm tears falling down on his neck. He couldn't hold himself anymore either.

“Sanghyun” he heard Seungho say when his chest stopped shuddering from the crying and his heartbeat evened.

“Hmm?” he opened his swollen eyes to look at his friend.

“Can I… really be your brother?”

“You are” he said tightening his grip on Seungho’s back. “I will never let you go”

They listened to the silence disturbed only by their light breathing and suddenly felt tired. Their eyes blinked heavily until they fell asleeo. All the pain and horrible memories were still there, it would forever be there, but from now on they had each other to share that sorrow and hope that maybe one day the nightmares would go away.

_______

“Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself... 'How did I get through all of that?”

THE END