(no subject)
I guess I'll give you all an update, though you may have heard bits and pieces.
The most exciting pre-surgery experience was my genius to include the "Abstinence and Oral Sex" pamphlet within the required hospital pamphlets and paperwork. This proved for some exciting times. I was not nervous as had been expected. Dr. Dean Smith gave me a "foot-shake" rather than a handshake (or his infamous hugs which I have yet to receive) upon our first meeting. He called my mom my twin sister (hahahahaha how original, Dean). I enjoyed correcting all sorts of grammar amidst my delirium, mostly my mother's, but I like to think I slipped in some corrections for various medical staff as well.
Here is a step-by-step of the surgery, to my best knowledge:
The medical staff slid me over to an operating table bed and placed my arms up on some brightly-colored foam armrests. A nurse said, "Okay, we're going to give you some oxygen now," and they placed some type of plastic mask over my face. I meant to say, "hey! it's slipping off my face," but the nurse beat me to it by saying, "Okay, Mary, your surgery is over now!" To which I replied: "Whhaaaaaaaaa? I'm...so...thirsssssstyyy"
It took me about four hours to fully wake up from the anaesthesia, and my belly-button started bleeding. Which is weird, I think. Very weird that they cut a hole in my bellybutton in the first place. I have iodine from, literally, my pubes to my boobs. TMI, but it rhymes. I have four holes in my torso, and they are starting to feel a little better. Not so much like I got kicked in the ribs and shot anymore. Though I am still very much in pain. No diarrhea or nausea, as they had promised. Which makes me feel unique and healthy like I am made of steel, but also kind of left out.
I've been getting all the Food Network and sneaking some guilty-pleasure MTV in while I have the chance and the cable privileges. Tomorrow I have to, sadly, begin work on my group Spanish project. What a perfect way to recover. On the plus side, my mom did all 5 loads of my laundry without a complaint. I'm not allowed to lift over 10 pounds for 4 whole weeks. Hope those toddlers don't get too heavy at work. Meh.
Umm okay bye bye.
The most exciting pre-surgery experience was my genius to include the "Abstinence and Oral Sex" pamphlet within the required hospital pamphlets and paperwork. This proved for some exciting times. I was not nervous as had been expected. Dr. Dean Smith gave me a "foot-shake" rather than a handshake (or his infamous hugs which I have yet to receive) upon our first meeting. He called my mom my twin sister (hahahahaha how original, Dean). I enjoyed correcting all sorts of grammar amidst my delirium, mostly my mother's, but I like to think I slipped in some corrections for various medical staff as well.
Here is a step-by-step of the surgery, to my best knowledge:
The medical staff slid me over to an operating table bed and placed my arms up on some brightly-colored foam armrests. A nurse said, "Okay, we're going to give you some oxygen now," and they placed some type of plastic mask over my face. I meant to say, "hey! it's slipping off my face," but the nurse beat me to it by saying, "Okay, Mary, your surgery is over now!" To which I replied: "Whhaaaaaaaaa? I'm...so...thirsssssstyyy"
It took me about four hours to fully wake up from the anaesthesia, and my belly-button started bleeding. Which is weird, I think. Very weird that they cut a hole in my bellybutton in the first place. I have iodine from, literally, my pubes to my boobs. TMI, but it rhymes. I have four holes in my torso, and they are starting to feel a little better. Not so much like I got kicked in the ribs and shot anymore. Though I am still very much in pain. No diarrhea or nausea, as they had promised. Which makes me feel unique and healthy like I am made of steel, but also kind of left out.
I've been getting all the Food Network and sneaking some guilty-pleasure MTV in while I have the chance and the cable privileges. Tomorrow I have to, sadly, begin work on my group Spanish project. What a perfect way to recover. On the plus side, my mom did all 5 loads of my laundry without a complaint. I'm not allowed to lift over 10 pounds for 4 whole weeks. Hope those toddlers don't get too heavy at work. Meh.
Umm okay bye bye.