who will feed her now
I suddenly remember what things were like before...what its like to be lonely, what its like to eat alone and walk with my head down staring at the flecks of dirt. I remember what its like to feel so intensely afraid because of the absence of love. I think of how I once was so intensely close with Jesus, my heart was on fire for him. Now there is only coals, longing to be lit again. He is always there saying "Crystal, my precious Jewel come back to me". I have had this time to only focus on Jesus and to be intimate with him, yet so far away in my attempts. My compassion comes from him, when I show emotion and cry for things that touch me, it is the holy spirit within me still living. I may be lost...but remembering helps me get rid of what I am feeling now. Why am I so anger, why cant I deal with things. How did I deal with my anger and feelings before. I would bring my burdens to Jesus and I must do that. I must try...I listen to the world so much that I am beginning to feel comfortable about myself. I must not be comfortable. There must be struggle and out of struggle comes great rewards...Now is this me talking..or is this just the spirit..I am already beginning to criticize