Long time no update...
Not really anything exciting to update. I just felt like venting for a few minutes. Well, maybe not venting (since I'm not really angry), but more getting some shit off my chest that I know no one will care to read about.
1) I wish nothing more than to be able to get over that boy. I swear, it's been what, 4 months now, and I'm STILL not over him?!? I'm getting tired of it myself. I think I do ok when I don't actually see him...I can handle talking to him whenever he IMs me, or when I see him on CoH...but it's the being in his presence that just tears me up. I so badly just want to hug him, and kiss him, and cuddle with him...but I can't, that's not my position anymore. And it bothers me even more that I'm the only one with those feelings still. He's moved on. "We weren't right for each other." He "had strong feelings for me" but never actually loved me. Douchebag. There are sometimes when I sit and think about it (which I need to STOP doing, because it doesn't help matters) that I just get so angry with him for actually making me happy for a period of time. I had gotten used to being lonely and all that jazz, and then he comes along and actually makes me happy for a few months, but then takes it away. Now I'm right back where I started (if not farther back, because now I have to get used to being lonely all over again). Ewww, and what pisses me off even more is how completely pathetic I sound right now. :-) On an amusing note, I think that Amanda (TJs girlfriend...TJ being Steve's best(?) friend) is trying to get me and Steve back together. I could be imagining things...but I get a feeling she is. She always tells me that she likes me (and I believe more than Tara, Steve's gf). But yeah, Friday night Amanda and I went out to go have a drink, and she told me I could stay the night at TJs if I wanted. When I asked if he cared, she said no, and that he wouldn't be there anyways. Well, Steve usually spends Friday nights at TJs since he normally works at Best Buy saturday mornings. So when I thought about that some more, she said I could stay the night knowing full well that Steve would be there overnight too. And then, after we had gotten back from Friday's we were watchin a little TV. Steve got there a little while after we got back, and when he walked through the room to head to the bathroom and saw me sittin in the chair, the look on his face was priceless. I laughed and said to Amanda (after he was out of the room) that he looked very surprised to see me there. And she said that he knew I was going to be there, and she had even asked him if he wanted to come get a drink with us. So that was the other thing that kinda makes me think she wants to get us back together. :-) Makes me feel good that she likes me more than his current gf. Haha.
Ok, enough about him. I spend far too much time still thinking about him as it is, so I don't need to devote a whole journal entry to him.
2) I called my old best friend to wish her Happy Birthday today. Some of her responses? "I thought about you on your birthday." "I knew you were going to call!" "I knew I had to wait to tell you Happy Birthday when you called me on mine." "You're such a good friend." That last one gets me. I can count the number of times I've talked to her in that last 4 years or so on two hands (ok, and maybe a foot too). And it's usually because of effort on MY part. She said she didn't have my number...which I believe. However, when I sent her a text message a month or two ago, she could have easily added my number from that. Not to mention the fact that she could have called/IMed Meredith (a sort of mutual friend) and gotten my number from her, or just gotten online and sent me an IM (or asked me for my number herself). Nope, that takes too much effort for Brett, and that would mean that she actually cared about someone other than herself. That sounds harsh, but it's true. Oh well. She told me if I ever wanted to come to Florida and visit to let her know. Hah! I have three people in Florida (4 if you count her) who I could, and plan to go visit at some point (mostly in the Orlando area). But you know what? I don't think I'd tell her when I go, or when I'm there. I might just wait till the next time I talk to her and be like "Oh, I was down in Florida visiting friends not too long ago. I thought about you." Or add... "I lost your number or else I would have called you." Somethin like that. I dunno though, I'm too nice, so I probably wouldn't say something snide like that. I shouldn't have even called her on her birthday though. Oh well. People are stupid.
Yep, I've completely lost my train of thought. I guess that means it's time for me to go to work. Sorry for the completely pointless entry.
1) I wish nothing more than to be able to get over that boy. I swear, it's been what, 4 months now, and I'm STILL not over him?!? I'm getting tired of it myself. I think I do ok when I don't actually see him...I can handle talking to him whenever he IMs me, or when I see him on CoH...but it's the being in his presence that just tears me up. I so badly just want to hug him, and kiss him, and cuddle with him...but I can't, that's not my position anymore. And it bothers me even more that I'm the only one with those feelings still. He's moved on. "We weren't right for each other." He "had strong feelings for me" but never actually loved me. Douchebag. There are sometimes when I sit and think about it (which I need to STOP doing, because it doesn't help matters) that I just get so angry with him for actually making me happy for a period of time. I had gotten used to being lonely and all that jazz, and then he comes along and actually makes me happy for a few months, but then takes it away. Now I'm right back where I started (if not farther back, because now I have to get used to being lonely all over again). Ewww, and what pisses me off even more is how completely pathetic I sound right now. :-) On an amusing note, I think that Amanda (TJs girlfriend...TJ being Steve's best(?) friend) is trying to get me and Steve back together. I could be imagining things...but I get a feeling she is. She always tells me that she likes me (and I believe more than Tara, Steve's gf). But yeah, Friday night Amanda and I went out to go have a drink, and she told me I could stay the night at TJs if I wanted. When I asked if he cared, she said no, and that he wouldn't be there anyways. Well, Steve usually spends Friday nights at TJs since he normally works at Best Buy saturday mornings. So when I thought about that some more, she said I could stay the night knowing full well that Steve would be there overnight too. And then, after we had gotten back from Friday's we were watchin a little TV. Steve got there a little while after we got back, and when he walked through the room to head to the bathroom and saw me sittin in the chair, the look on his face was priceless. I laughed and said to Amanda (after he was out of the room) that he looked very surprised to see me there. And she said that he knew I was going to be there, and she had even asked him if he wanted to come get a drink with us. So that was the other thing that kinda makes me think she wants to get us back together. :-) Makes me feel good that she likes me more than his current gf. Haha.
Ok, enough about him. I spend far too much time still thinking about him as it is, so I don't need to devote a whole journal entry to him.
2) I called my old best friend to wish her Happy Birthday today. Some of her responses? "I thought about you on your birthday." "I knew you were going to call!" "I knew I had to wait to tell you Happy Birthday when you called me on mine." "You're such a good friend." That last one gets me. I can count the number of times I've talked to her in that last 4 years or so on two hands (ok, and maybe a foot too). And it's usually because of effort on MY part. She said she didn't have my number...which I believe. However, when I sent her a text message a month or two ago, she could have easily added my number from that. Not to mention the fact that she could have called/IMed Meredith (a sort of mutual friend) and gotten my number from her, or just gotten online and sent me an IM (or asked me for my number herself). Nope, that takes too much effort for Brett, and that would mean that she actually cared about someone other than herself. That sounds harsh, but it's true. Oh well. She told me if I ever wanted to come to Florida and visit to let her know. Hah! I have three people in Florida (4 if you count her) who I could, and plan to go visit at some point (mostly in the Orlando area). But you know what? I don't think I'd tell her when I go, or when I'm there. I might just wait till the next time I talk to her and be like "Oh, I was down in Florida visiting friends not too long ago. I thought about you." Or add... "I lost your number or else I would have called you." Somethin like that. I dunno though, I'm too nice, so I probably wouldn't say something snide like that. I shouldn't have even called her on her birthday though. Oh well. People are stupid.
Yep, I've completely lost my train of thought. I guess that means it's time for me to go to work. Sorry for the completely pointless entry.