"fair is foul and foul is fair"
wow so i just used a Macbeth quote as my title, I know there is something wrong here.... i just keep stressing out- i mean, I've been better about it so far this nine weeks since i have someone to help remind me that school isn't everything (though i still d on't fully agree). Things are going good with John. I still haven't told Chelsea yet... I'm getting kinda antsy about it as me and him get more serious, but we're still not officially b/f and g/f (which i think is because he's wanting to plan it out and make it good/memorable- not like, in the middle of a hallway or something- lol jk) so anyways, i dunno, i guess I jusy get in over my head. Club meeting, school, church, work... babysitting, teaching, a LIFE? oh no wait, i lost that a long time ago. I dunno, I guess it just like to stay busy. I can say that i am very happy right now. Though I do see all of the anxiety and animosity around me, I do know that within the deepest, innermost compartments of my not-so-heavy-any-more heart, I am truely happy. I have a best friend, goof friends (FINALLY) who I am pretty sure care about me (except when I'm a crappy friend- SORRY ELIZABETHER I LOVE YOU AND YOU DESERVE TO BASH ON ME IN YOUR LJ ANY TIME YOU WANT). Anyways, but i mean, I dunno, I just have a lot of work to do. Tomorrow I don't have to go to school though b/c teachers love me and I'm going on behalf of Stanton to the megnet fair thing and all of my teachers have mostly been like "it's a service to our school and a priviledge so forget the make up work" which is cool. Anyways, that's what you get for working hard i guess... it feels good to finally be rewarded. So i will get hom early and I hope to maybe do something sweet for John if I get home b4 he does from school. Since he came up to school yesterday and surprised me, and I didn't have my cell ohone on, he couldn't find me b/c i stayed after the club meeting talking, so then i took too mong and he had to go so i never saw im and he left a note under my windshield wiper.... i feel like crap so if anyone has any ideas on what i can do to make it up to him for ruining his cute little surprise (or the effort at least) please let me know... i really am at a loss, and he means to much to me that i really feel like he deserves to much more that what i have been able to give him... anyways, that's another day, homework calls once again and i must asnwer to it's beconing voice. God Bless