Maybe I'm just not good at having a vagina
It's possible, I think.
Lately, I keep getting, txts, phone calls and forwards about how dumb guys are and how men suck and they should be so lucky to have women and blah blah blah.
I've never hit this phase. With the exception of three that I know of, all the girls I know not only careened into this phase but continue to go back to it. I just don't get it. The guy bashing, I mean. What's the point? From where I'm sitting it only happens once they've been jilted or that the guy doesn't 'appreciate' them the way it happens in movies.
Take last night for example. I was called and then put on speaker phone and I hear this:
Sacha: Well it's a man's world--
Frankie: Oh so that's what's wrong with it!
Everyone: *retarded amount of giggling*
Frankie: Maz? You're not laughing?
Me: Yeah, I'm assuming things aren't going well with with Josh, Tim, Erich and Daniel
Everyone: *really quiet*
Me: Thought so
Things like "Walking in another man's shoes... Ha! Try a pair of heels!" and "God made man and said 'I can do better then this!' and then came women!' seem stupid to me, and entirely pointless. The ones who say those things the most ARE single, and they get super pissed when you point that out.
I just don't get it. Just because things aren't living up to your fairy tale, why does it make you feel better to blame the XY chromosome? I know I don't understand it. And while I kinda wanna know, I kinda don't. Maybe it's because what they have is what I want.
That thing people complain about, where the romance is dead and it's just monotony? Yeah, I want that. I want someone I can just coexist with. I want a guy who's emotionally distant and is not comfortable with telling me how he feels about me. I'm tripping over guys with flowers and poems, who want to snuggle and hold hands, and text me every minute of every day.
Yech. I want my guy to come home, we say 'hey' and then we go about our business. He'll sprawl out on the couch and I'll curl up in the recliner and that'll be our day. I don't mind when we keep to our own sides of the bed, I'd prefer it that way. My kind of guy's idea of being thoughtful is coming home with takeout not because he wanted to give me a break but because he wanted chinese.
I don't want a lot of attention or wuv or any of that crap stuff. I tell guys straight up I'm no sex before marriage, I hate surprises, I don't like going out to fancy dinners. They think I'm being sly or cute or something and constantly make nice dinner reservations, buy me things without consulting me. They tell me it's "so amazing to meet a girl who isn't a two dollar hooker. A girl with values."
Excuse me? Are you kidding? I don't think there's anything wrong with premarital sex (provided you're a certain age or up and not my little sister). I'm waiting for completely selfish reasons. Don't try to make me look/feel special about something I'm a bitch over.
I want a passionless relationship. I joke about it a lot, but I don't know how opposed I'd be to marrying a wealthier gay guy who just needed a wife for appearances, maybe a kid or too to be really convincing. Who knows.
Guys describe me as 'distant' once we start dating. When I say "I wanna see __________, " I'm not looking for an excuse to cuddle, I want to watch the damn movie. This bothers them. I don't like sitting too close to someone on the couch because I move around I'm never in a comfortable postition and move around every five minutes. It makes sitting with someone's arm(s) around me difficult. Guys would send me flowers at school and at work, and I'm annoyed when theis happens because where the hell am I putting these things for the next five hours. I'm not distant, I'm just overly practically.
Guys who're good looking and have dry, dark senses of humor. Who never tell me they like me back. That's what I want. As soon as someone starts to show too much interest or actually tell me they have a serious thing for me, I loose nearly all interest in almost immeaditly. My favourite relationship I've ever been in, he never said my name. I was always 'Woman' or 'Lady'.
Me: Do we have a song?
Him: What?
Me: Some of them were going on about 'their song'. We don't have one, right?
Him: Lady, I hardly use your name; what in the hell makes you think you're getting a song?
Me: Haha, thought so!
Me: Wow. Would you do if I were that emotional?
Him: Don't even kid like that, Woman.
Me: But what would you do if I got crazy over stupid stuff?
Him: I would slap the taste from your mouth.
Him: Come on, go to bed.
Me: I don't work tomorrow
Him: And I do. Now lay down, Lady.
Me: Why?
Him: Because it's weird to sleep without you.
Me: Without me?
Him: Without a body. Now I can find a hooker or you can shut up and fluff your damn pillow
Me: Pillow fluffing it is.
Him: Good. I don't have that kind of money on me anyway
Me: So if I wanna stay up, I can lend you two hundred bucks?
Him: Two hundred? Lady. Who the fuck spends two hundred on a hooker? What kind of women are you buying?
Me: The kind that's better than yours.
Him: You know what? fuck it. Gimme two hundred, Woman, and go make yourself busy for the next eight hours.
Me: I thought you wouldn't spend that much on a hooker?
Him: My kind of girl would cost two hundred for eight hours.
Me: Oh.
Him: Economics.
Me: S'what keeps this country going
I loved that. It always made me smile, and it showed a closeness but there was a still a wall there. That's exactly what I want from a guy.
All these sensitive, sweet, affectionate knights in shining armor need not apply. My friends seem to end up with the kind of jerks that are right up my alley, while I throw away their dream dudes like wadded tissue. The biggest difference here (the entire point of the post) is that I don't feel the need to blame the guys, because blaming the penis doesn't make feel better. I just don't see how it could. I just don't.
Lately, I keep getting, txts, phone calls and forwards about how dumb guys are and how men suck and they should be so lucky to have women and blah blah blah.
I've never hit this phase. With the exception of three that I know of, all the girls I know not only careened into this phase but continue to go back to it. I just don't get it. The guy bashing, I mean. What's the point? From where I'm sitting it only happens once they've been jilted or that the guy doesn't 'appreciate' them the way it happens in movies.
Take last night for example. I was called and then put on speaker phone and I hear this:
Sacha: Well it's a man's world--
Frankie: Oh so that's what's wrong with it!
Everyone: *retarded amount of giggling*
Frankie: Maz? You're not laughing?
Me: Yeah, I'm assuming things aren't going well with with Josh, Tim, Erich and Daniel
Everyone: *really quiet*
Me: Thought so
Things like "Walking in another man's shoes... Ha! Try a pair of heels!" and "God made man and said 'I can do better then this!' and then came women!' seem stupid to me, and entirely pointless. The ones who say those things the most ARE single, and they get super pissed when you point that out.
I just don't get it. Just because things aren't living up to your fairy tale, why does it make you feel better to blame the XY chromosome? I know I don't understand it. And while I kinda wanna know, I kinda don't. Maybe it's because what they have is what I want.
That thing people complain about, where the romance is dead and it's just monotony? Yeah, I want that. I want someone I can just coexist with. I want a guy who's emotionally distant and is not comfortable with telling me how he feels about me. I'm tripping over guys with flowers and poems, who want to snuggle and hold hands, and text me every minute of every day.
Yech. I want my guy to come home, we say 'hey' and then we go about our business. He'll sprawl out on the couch and I'll curl up in the recliner and that'll be our day. I don't mind when we keep to our own sides of the bed, I'd prefer it that way. My kind of guy's idea of being thoughtful is coming home with takeout not because he wanted to give me a break but because he wanted chinese.
I don't want a lot of attention or wuv or any of that crap stuff. I tell guys straight up I'm no sex before marriage, I hate surprises, I don't like going out to fancy dinners. They think I'm being sly or cute or something and constantly make nice dinner reservations, buy me things without consulting me. They tell me it's "so amazing to meet a girl who isn't a two dollar hooker. A girl with values."
Excuse me? Are you kidding? I don't think there's anything wrong with premarital sex (provided you're a certain age or up and not my little sister). I'm waiting for completely selfish reasons. Don't try to make me look/feel special about something I'm a bitch over.
I want a passionless relationship. I joke about it a lot, but I don't know how opposed I'd be to marrying a wealthier gay guy who just needed a wife for appearances, maybe a kid or too to be really convincing. Who knows.
Guys describe me as 'distant' once we start dating. When I say "I wanna see __________, " I'm not looking for an excuse to cuddle, I want to watch the damn movie. This bothers them. I don't like sitting too close to someone on the couch because I move around I'm never in a comfortable postition and move around every five minutes. It makes sitting with someone's arm(s) around me difficult. Guys would send me flowers at school and at work, and I'm annoyed when theis happens because where the hell am I putting these things for the next five hours. I'm not distant, I'm just overly practically.
Guys who're good looking and have dry, dark senses of humor. Who never tell me they like me back. That's what I want. As soon as someone starts to show too much interest or actually tell me they have a serious thing for me, I loose nearly all interest in almost immeaditly. My favourite relationship I've ever been in, he never said my name. I was always 'Woman' or 'Lady'.
Me: Do we have a song?
Him: What?
Me: Some of them were going on about 'their song'. We don't have one, right?
Him: Lady, I hardly use your name; what in the hell makes you think you're getting a song?
Me: Haha, thought so!
Me: Wow. Would you do if I were that emotional?
Him: Don't even kid like that, Woman.
Me: But what would you do if I got crazy over stupid stuff?
Him: I would slap the taste from your mouth.
Him: Come on, go to bed.
Me: I don't work tomorrow
Him: And I do. Now lay down, Lady.
Me: Why?
Him: Because it's weird to sleep without you.
Me: Without me?
Him: Without a body. Now I can find a hooker or you can shut up and fluff your damn pillow
Me: Pillow fluffing it is.
Him: Good. I don't have that kind of money on me anyway
Me: So if I wanna stay up, I can lend you two hundred bucks?
Him: Two hundred? Lady. Who the fuck spends two hundred on a hooker? What kind of women are you buying?
Me: The kind that's better than yours.
Him: You know what? fuck it. Gimme two hundred, Woman, and go make yourself busy for the next eight hours.
Me: I thought you wouldn't spend that much on a hooker?
Him: My kind of girl would cost two hundred for eight hours.
Me: Oh.
Him: Economics.
Me: S'what keeps this country going
I loved that. It always made me smile, and it showed a closeness but there was a still a wall there. That's exactly what I want from a guy.
All these sensitive, sweet, affectionate knights in shining armor need not apply. My friends seem to end up with the kind of jerks that are right up my alley, while I throw away their dream dudes like wadded tissue. The biggest difference here (the entire point of the post) is that I don't feel the need to blame the guys, because blaming the penis doesn't make feel better. I just don't see how it could. I just don't.