(no subject)
God i'm knackered.
Not that i even did much today and yesterday at my new job but just the more regimented day took it out of me.
the last 2 days have been an eye opener and i think that a lot more is still to come. The problems some of the kids in secure care face are so varied and the stereotypes so ingrained into society that it must be incredibly difficult to shake off those labels.
Yesterday they had slides of the mother and baby unit where the new secure unit is being built. This is where we think my mums biological mother was pregnant and then where my mum was adopted out from. I loved my grandparents so much but it makes me feel sick to the stomach to think of my bio grandmother in that place. I wonder why she was there and what she felt giving up her baby. I wonder why she had to do this 6 times and whether she had a choice. I also wonder what strange quirk of fate brought me to that site almost 50 years later to work on the same spot that she would have walked as a young woman. One of the women who has worked there for a long time has a contact no that she can offer my mum if she would like some answers. It's funny that 1/2 of my roots are unknown, all i know is that my bio grandmother was irish. Yet, somehow i unknowingly came to work in a place where my roots are perhaps able to be made more clear.
Dh and i had a huge talk after the shit hit the fan last Friday night. The arguments pretty much a drunken blur but the actual talk went well. We talked firstly about the fact that i do most of the domestic wotrk around the house and that this load had to be shared equally now that i am going to be working. We talked about our roles as parents and his need to be consistant and reinforce the parenting that i'm using with the kids. He has started to read up on positive parenting skills.
We talked a lot about things around the home.
Then we talked about our relationship as a whole. I felt as though he'd become very complacent. He didn't really put the effort into the relationship, sexually, affectionately, or just in general. There are so many issues that we spoke about that it's hard to write them all down but basically it came down to the fact that he stopped putting the effort in.
He hadn't realised and now that we've spoken, he's been making a big effort. It helps that the problems were more out of complacency than maliciousness or whatever. There was an immediate effort on his part and he's been keeping that up. However, i DID have to nag him about not being organized with the kids. No shower for starting school yesterday or today. Problem, he slept in! I'm giving him a little bit of leeway for the first couple of days because i've been doing this side of things for so long for the most part. however, i did let him know that i did NOT appreciate having to wash soup covered pots that hadn't even been steeped before i could make dinner for the kids after a day at work. NOT on. He did apologize on the phone and once is fine as long as it doesn't become a regular thing. He needs to be able to get up and do his jobs and sort the kids out on his days.
I'm getting a lift into work tomorrow, so 1/2 an hour more in bed. Woohoo.
Not that i even did much today and yesterday at my new job but just the more regimented day took it out of me.
the last 2 days have been an eye opener and i think that a lot more is still to come. The problems some of the kids in secure care face are so varied and the stereotypes so ingrained into society that it must be incredibly difficult to shake off those labels.
Yesterday they had slides of the mother and baby unit where the new secure unit is being built. This is where we think my mums biological mother was pregnant and then where my mum was adopted out from. I loved my grandparents so much but it makes me feel sick to the stomach to think of my bio grandmother in that place. I wonder why she was there and what she felt giving up her baby. I wonder why she had to do this 6 times and whether she had a choice. I also wonder what strange quirk of fate brought me to that site almost 50 years later to work on the same spot that she would have walked as a young woman. One of the women who has worked there for a long time has a contact no that she can offer my mum if she would like some answers. It's funny that 1/2 of my roots are unknown, all i know is that my bio grandmother was irish. Yet, somehow i unknowingly came to work in a place where my roots are perhaps able to be made more clear.
Dh and i had a huge talk after the shit hit the fan last Friday night. The arguments pretty much a drunken blur but the actual talk went well. We talked firstly about the fact that i do most of the domestic wotrk around the house and that this load had to be shared equally now that i am going to be working. We talked about our roles as parents and his need to be consistant and reinforce the parenting that i'm using with the kids. He has started to read up on positive parenting skills.
We talked a lot about things around the home.
Then we talked about our relationship as a whole. I felt as though he'd become very complacent. He didn't really put the effort into the relationship, sexually, affectionately, or just in general. There are so many issues that we spoke about that it's hard to write them all down but basically it came down to the fact that he stopped putting the effort in.
He hadn't realised and now that we've spoken, he's been making a big effort. It helps that the problems were more out of complacency than maliciousness or whatever. There was an immediate effort on his part and he's been keeping that up. However, i DID have to nag him about not being organized with the kids. No shower for starting school yesterday or today. Problem, he slept in! I'm giving him a little bit of leeway for the first couple of days because i've been doing this side of things for so long for the most part. however, i did let him know that i did NOT appreciate having to wash soup covered pots that hadn't even been steeped before i could make dinner for the kids after a day at work. NOT on. He did apologize on the phone and once is fine as long as it doesn't become a regular thing. He needs to be able to get up and do his jobs and sort the kids out on his days.
I'm getting a lift into work tomorrow, so 1/2 an hour more in bed. Woohoo.