Being more present.
On the recommendation of two people I am rereading the book The Power of Now.
I was getting to caught up in the what ifs of life and was not enjoying the present moment.
I was making my self insane worrying about the future and what other people were doing.
I was living outside of myself completely and making myself miserable.
I was focusing all my attention on something I had little to no control over.
I am glad I caught myself before I did or said something that I would regret.
Now I feel more content and less anxious about the future.
There is nothing wrong right now so why worry?
I have come to the realization that the only person I am able to control is me.
I am a bit if a control freak and so when someone comes into my life of the opposite sex I tend to find someone with a weaker personality than I.
This way I can have things that way I like them and I have the element of control that I enjoy.
I can predict what they are going to do and even tell them what to do for the most part.
This time I picked someone that has stronger then me and it has thrown me for a loop.
It made my head spin because I had no idea how to make him do what I wanted him to do.
I knew that if I tried I would only succeed in pushing him away so I was stuck.
Now I know that the only thing to do is to enjoy what I have now and not try to control the outcome.
I will never be in control anyways.
That is just an illusion of security in a relationship.
There is never any certainty in any relationship.
There is only the present moment and if you waste your time worrying about the future and what might be you will forget to enjoy what you have right now.
I know that I am being all airy fairy and self helpy but I am trying to get a handle on the crazy negative talk that my mind spews forth.
It is not easy.
I was getting to caught up in the what ifs of life and was not enjoying the present moment.
I was making my self insane worrying about the future and what other people were doing.
I was living outside of myself completely and making myself miserable.
I was focusing all my attention on something I had little to no control over.
I am glad I caught myself before I did or said something that I would regret.
Now I feel more content and less anxious about the future.
There is nothing wrong right now so why worry?
I have come to the realization that the only person I am able to control is me.
I am a bit if a control freak and so when someone comes into my life of the opposite sex I tend to find someone with a weaker personality than I.
This way I can have things that way I like them and I have the element of control that I enjoy.
I can predict what they are going to do and even tell them what to do for the most part.
This time I picked someone that has stronger then me and it has thrown me for a loop.
It made my head spin because I had no idea how to make him do what I wanted him to do.
I knew that if I tried I would only succeed in pushing him away so I was stuck.
Now I know that the only thing to do is to enjoy what I have now and not try to control the outcome.
I will never be in control anyways.
That is just an illusion of security in a relationship.
There is never any certainty in any relationship.
There is only the present moment and if you waste your time worrying about the future and what might be you will forget to enjoy what you have right now.
I know that I am being all airy fairy and self helpy but I am trying to get a handle on the crazy negative talk that my mind spews forth.
It is not easy.