Feeling Electric: Will Be
Fandom: Feeling Electric
Title: Will Be
Author: Ai (
armageddoni)
Pairing: Dan/Diana
Characters: Dan, Natalie and Diana, with mentions of Gabriel and an OC, Mrs. Henderson.
Word count: 946 words
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG-13, for mature themes
Summary: All the 'I've been's were, at one point, 'I am's... [Pre!FE]
Notes: Ah, Dan... you're such a good daddy and husband. *hugs him*
Dedication: To my brain, for writing angsty!Dan and more Dan/baby!Nataie cuteness. Oh yes.
Disclaimer: I do not own Feeling Electric; Tom Kitt and Brian Yorkey do.
Dan let out a frustrated sigh, putting down the phone for the sixteenth time. Someone had to be available to take care of Natalie. Dan needed to see his wife!
As if she could hear him thinking about her, Natalie began crying. Dan moaned, then picked up his baby daughter. “Shh, Nat, shh… Natalie… please stop crying sweetie, please. It’s okay. Daddy’s here, Daddy’s gonna take care of you… Shh, sweetie, please…” He suddenly felt on the verge of tears. He wasn’t built for this. He wasn’t supposed to be doing this! Holding Natalie with one arm to his hip, bouncing her as he paced, Dan dialed the phone with the other hand, meanwhile trying to hush his daughter. He was growing desperate.
The other line came alive with a click. “Hello, Mrs. Henderson? Dan Brown here.” Mrs. Henderson was had been their grief counselor back when Diana had needed it. “No, actually, things aren’t going so well, Diana’s in the hospital.” He was babbling. He was so tired after another sleepless night of worrying about his wife and tending to Natalie. “Listen, I know it’s short notice, Mrs. Henderson, I know it’s not your job, but I need to go check on Diana at the hospital, and I can’t bring Natalie with me, Natalie’s my daughter, our daughter, I just need someone to watch her for a few hours… No, please, Mrs. Henderson, please, I can drop her off on my way to the hospital and I’ll pick her up, she’ll behave, she’s a good baby, I’ll bring her toys or your can just plop her in front of the TV.” Natalie let out a scream of epic proportions at the prospect of being abandoned. Dan held the phone to his ear with his shoulder as he adjusted her on his hip. “Please, Mrs. Henderson, I’ve tried everyone I could think of. Please.” The garbled sigh and consent sent cool waves of relief to Dan’s hot and tired brain. “Thank you, Mrs. Henderson, thank you, you’re an absolute lifesaver. I’ll be over shortly. Thank you.” With a sigh, he hung up the phone and rushed out to the car, Natalie kicking and screaming the whole way, her chubby pink baby fists pounding uselessly into Dan.
“Come on, baby girl,” he said, almost absentmindedly. “Come on, Nat, shh, it’s gonna be okay, Mommy’s okay, Daddy just needs to see her.” He strapped her into her car seat, adjusting the straps over her puffy pink parka. She had calmed considerably, and he thought maybe she had just been hot in her coat in the house.
It took five minutes to get Mrs. Henderson’s house, a fact Dan was a little surprised at. He’d had no idea they lived so close. Mrs. Henderson was waiting at the door, and Dan kissed Natalie as she was handed off. “Daddy’ll be back soon,” he promised her, “and maybe Mommy too.”
Maybe Mommy too. Those words haunted Dan as he pulled away, Mrs. Henderson obnoxiously waving his daughter’s arm at him in a pathetic mimic of ‘good-bye’, Natalie’s eyes telling him everything. She knew her mother probably wasn’t coming home soon. Suicide watch was supposed to last only a few days, but the doctors had been trying to diagnose her and get her started on meds…
He pulled into the parking lot and parked, then rested his head against the steering wheel as if that would save him from drowning in the thoughts that crowded his brain. Above all the noise was one voice, a memory that Dan knew would never cease haunting him, a cry of pain and fear and sorrow that would be with him until the grave: “He’s alive.”
No question about the ‘he’. Dan knew. He knew. He knew. ‘He’ had to be gone. ‘He’ was dead.
Dan sat nervously in the waiting room. He hated hospitals- hated the smell, the acrid burn of antiseptic at the back of his throat, the rush to do things that needed to be done, that sense of lives hanging in the balance. He couldn’t help but think of poor little Natalie, his baby, his girl, abandoned in that strange house with that strange, crazy-assed woman. He stared to doubt his decision to leave her there, instead of bringing her with him. But he knew it was for Diana’s sake as much as it was for her.
A young, fresh-faced doctor approached. “Excuse me, sir. Are you Mr. Brown?” Dan nodded wearily, all the exhaustion seeming to hit him at once. “Your wife is fine now, Mr. Brown, but as we discussed earlier, she had to be sedated again…”
“I know.” Dan’s voice was strangely hoarse. “May I see her?
“She’s unconscious…” the doctor began.
“I don’t care.”
The doctor hesitated, then nodded. “Follow me, sir.”
Dan didn’t even flinch as he was lead into the room. There was his wife, ‘sedated and restrained’, as they said, the white gauze an almost ghostly reminder of that dark night when Dan’s hell had opened wide and swallowed him up. The doctor, who had been babbling about the effects of medication, paused, then said, “I’ll leave you alone.”
Dan didn’t even murmur a ‘thank you’ as the doctor left, just stepped forward and took Diana’s hand in his. Hers was cold and limp, and for a moment, Dan thought she might be dead. But then he heard her soft breathing, and he knew she was alive.
“Hey, Di,” he whispered, knowing fully she couldn’t hear or respond to him.
This was his wife, the mother of his child. He had promised to stay with her.
This was his future.
This was his life.
Title: Will Be
Author: Ai (
armageddoni)
Pairing: Dan/Diana
Characters: Dan, Natalie and Diana, with mentions of Gabriel and an OC, Mrs. Henderson.
Word count: 946 words
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG-13, for mature themes
Summary: All the 'I've been's were, at one point, 'I am's... [Pre!FE]
Notes: Ah, Dan... you're such a good daddy and husband. *hugs him*
Dedication: To my brain, for writing angsty!Dan and more Dan/baby!Nataie cuteness. Oh yes.
Disclaimer: I do not own Feeling Electric; Tom Kitt and Brian Yorkey do.
Dan let out a frustrated sigh, putting down the phone for the sixteenth time. Someone had to be available to take care of Natalie. Dan needed to see his wife!
As if she could hear him thinking about her, Natalie began crying. Dan moaned, then picked up his baby daughter. “Shh, Nat, shh… Natalie… please stop crying sweetie, please. It’s okay. Daddy’s here, Daddy’s gonna take care of you… Shh, sweetie, please…” He suddenly felt on the verge of tears. He wasn’t built for this. He wasn’t supposed to be doing this! Holding Natalie with one arm to his hip, bouncing her as he paced, Dan dialed the phone with the other hand, meanwhile trying to hush his daughter. He was growing desperate.
The other line came alive with a click. “Hello, Mrs. Henderson? Dan Brown here.” Mrs. Henderson was had been their grief counselor back when Diana had needed it. “No, actually, things aren’t going so well, Diana’s in the hospital.” He was babbling. He was so tired after another sleepless night of worrying about his wife and tending to Natalie. “Listen, I know it’s short notice, Mrs. Henderson, I know it’s not your job, but I need to go check on Diana at the hospital, and I can’t bring Natalie with me, Natalie’s my daughter, our daughter, I just need someone to watch her for a few hours… No, please, Mrs. Henderson, please, I can drop her off on my way to the hospital and I’ll pick her up, she’ll behave, she’s a good baby, I’ll bring her toys or your can just plop her in front of the TV.” Natalie let out a scream of epic proportions at the prospect of being abandoned. Dan held the phone to his ear with his shoulder as he adjusted her on his hip. “Please, Mrs. Henderson, I’ve tried everyone I could think of. Please.” The garbled sigh and consent sent cool waves of relief to Dan’s hot and tired brain. “Thank you, Mrs. Henderson, thank you, you’re an absolute lifesaver. I’ll be over shortly. Thank you.” With a sigh, he hung up the phone and rushed out to the car, Natalie kicking and screaming the whole way, her chubby pink baby fists pounding uselessly into Dan.
“Come on, baby girl,” he said, almost absentmindedly. “Come on, Nat, shh, it’s gonna be okay, Mommy’s okay, Daddy just needs to see her.” He strapped her into her car seat, adjusting the straps over her puffy pink parka. She had calmed considerably, and he thought maybe she had just been hot in her coat in the house.
It took five minutes to get Mrs. Henderson’s house, a fact Dan was a little surprised at. He’d had no idea they lived so close. Mrs. Henderson was waiting at the door, and Dan kissed Natalie as she was handed off. “Daddy’ll be back soon,” he promised her, “and maybe Mommy too.”
Maybe Mommy too. Those words haunted Dan as he pulled away, Mrs. Henderson obnoxiously waving his daughter’s arm at him in a pathetic mimic of ‘good-bye’, Natalie’s eyes telling him everything. She knew her mother probably wasn’t coming home soon. Suicide watch was supposed to last only a few days, but the doctors had been trying to diagnose her and get her started on meds…
He pulled into the parking lot and parked, then rested his head against the steering wheel as if that would save him from drowning in the thoughts that crowded his brain. Above all the noise was one voice, a memory that Dan knew would never cease haunting him, a cry of pain and fear and sorrow that would be with him until the grave: “He’s alive.”
No question about the ‘he’. Dan knew. He knew. He knew. ‘He’ had to be gone. ‘He’ was dead.
Dan sat nervously in the waiting room. He hated hospitals- hated the smell, the acrid burn of antiseptic at the back of his throat, the rush to do things that needed to be done, that sense of lives hanging in the balance. He couldn’t help but think of poor little Natalie, his baby, his girl, abandoned in that strange house with that strange, crazy-assed woman. He stared to doubt his decision to leave her there, instead of bringing her with him. But he knew it was for Diana’s sake as much as it was for her.
A young, fresh-faced doctor approached. “Excuse me, sir. Are you Mr. Brown?” Dan nodded wearily, all the exhaustion seeming to hit him at once. “Your wife is fine now, Mr. Brown, but as we discussed earlier, she had to be sedated again…”
“I know.” Dan’s voice was strangely hoarse. “May I see her?
“She’s unconscious…” the doctor began.
“I don’t care.”
The doctor hesitated, then nodded. “Follow me, sir.”
Dan didn’t even flinch as he was lead into the room. There was his wife, ‘sedated and restrained’, as they said, the white gauze an almost ghostly reminder of that dark night when Dan’s hell had opened wide and swallowed him up. The doctor, who had been babbling about the effects of medication, paused, then said, “I’ll leave you alone.”
Dan didn’t even murmur a ‘thank you’ as the doctor left, just stepped forward and took Diana’s hand in his. Hers was cold and limp, and for a moment, Dan thought she might be dead. But then he heard her soft breathing, and he knew she was alive.
“Hey, Di,” he whispered, knowing fully she couldn’t hear or respond to him.
This was his wife, the mother of his child. He had promised to stay with her.
This was his future.
This was his life.