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well, so becky arrived last night, and I even got excited greeting her with a huge hug...but that soon turned into the usual disdain with her overbearing and intrusive behavior, which turned into more repulsion, which turned into being offended by her disgusting habits, and lack of respect... such as farting just as if it was nothing and burping without excusing herself....disgusting and offensive. It's as if she came from the woods or soemthing, living her entire existance in the dark, beyond civilization and just dropped in for a hello or something...She told my mom and I today that she went to go "dip her finger" in the dough we had in the fridge (for pecan tassies) and then realized it was hard, and wasn't cookie dough like she had expected... I was so grossed out, I'm sorry, but knowing her she really doesn't care where her hands have just been and ugh...I jsut thought this time would be different for me...how I handled her behavior...she has picked ever since she got home, has sung chrsitmas songs half the night off key...and basically slurped her stuffed cabbage rather than even eating it and enjoying it. I swear, it's like you would swear we got her at the zoo or something.
she's like an animal that doesn't care. I told her last night that I still don't smoke, and she jsut blew it off, without a comment...it's liek when I play the scapegoat game...I easily see how I am the way I am half the time. She just offends me. She reminds me of Randi Quad from "Christmas Vacation" and trust me, I'm not over exxagerating a lot of this...It's just unfortunate that I don't have the tolerance and she doesnt have the concious...its weird to me...how she is. And I just wish my heart was more accepting, but she's definitely like the ultimate love test...shes extremely hard to even have around...its like this yr. I got all excited seeing that things could be differnet between me and her, and she comes and offends the crap outta me, then hounds on me like always and I'm just sick of it. She doens't make any kind of effort, and I get bitter about it. I hate being bitter, but I find it even harder to give of myself to her, when she is just so challenged.
I don't mean for anyone to think I'm a mean person cuz of this post...I'm just being honest about the situation with my sister. I wonder if my heart toward her will ever change. Atleast I realize it's me whos' attitude has to change to make it better...although it would just be so wonderful if she would atleast say excuse me after burping...............
she's like an animal that doesn't care. I told her last night that I still don't smoke, and she jsut blew it off, without a comment...it's liek when I play the scapegoat game...I easily see how I am the way I am half the time. She just offends me. She reminds me of Randi Quad from "Christmas Vacation" and trust me, I'm not over exxagerating a lot of this...It's just unfortunate that I don't have the tolerance and she doesnt have the concious...its weird to me...how she is. And I just wish my heart was more accepting, but she's definitely like the ultimate love test...shes extremely hard to even have around...its like this yr. I got all excited seeing that things could be differnet between me and her, and she comes and offends the crap outta me, then hounds on me like always and I'm just sick of it. She doens't make any kind of effort, and I get bitter about it. I hate being bitter, but I find it even harder to give of myself to her, when she is just so challenged.
I don't mean for anyone to think I'm a mean person cuz of this post...I'm just being honest about the situation with my sister. I wonder if my heart toward her will ever change. Atleast I realize it's me whos' attitude has to change to make it better...although it would just be so wonderful if she would atleast say excuse me after burping...............