The Wayward One
Title: The Wayward One (Chapter Two)
Author: glorious_clio
Rating: PG13
Warnings: none; pre-series
Summary: Marian stays behind after Robin abruptly breaks their engagement and goes off to the Holy Land. What happens to those left behind? This is not a romance.
Characters: Marian, mentions of Robin, OC's
Disclaimer: I do not hold any ownership over the BBC's version of Robin Hood.
Chapter Two: Feverish Jealousy
I ain't missing you at all
Since you've been gone, away
I ain't missing you
No matter, what I might say
There's a message, in the wires
And I'm sending you this signal tonight
You don't know, how desperate I've become
And it looks like I'm losing this fight
o0O0o
Marian remained in Nottingham after Twelfth Night. There was more to distract her there. She liked going to the Council of Nobles meetings, and preferred not to wade through the snow every other week to get there. She played chess every evening with her father (often to his disappointment when she bested him). Lent began and Marian observed all the Holy Days, and of course, made sure their supply of fish was well stocked (no other meat was allowed, and no sweets). Forty days was a long time.
Sometimes Aldith came with her mother to the Council of Nobles, and then Marian was filled in on the wedding arrangements. Marian swallowed her jealousy and her pride when she agreed to be one of Aldith's bridesmaids.
In her heart, she prayed for the jealousy and the pain and the anger to go away. Anything would be preferable to this hateful envy. It was not Aldith's fault, it was Robin's.
After the Easter season was over, Marian went straight to lady Diot to serve Aldith in the final days until her nuptials. She felt she had been run ragged by the fasting of Lent, the feasting of Easter, and now the final preparations for the wedding. She had not been home to Knighton in several months, and she was beginning to miss Sweet Sara and John (who was just an affectionate grump). But duty called, Marian answered, and she needed to be with her best friend, even if silences between them had become a bit awkward.
Aldith was in a tizzy. She was nervous over becoming someone's wife, but instead of articulating that, she was instead panicking over tiny, insignificant details. Lady Diot and Marian were simply trying to keep her from doing anything crazy. But rational conversation with Aldith would not be happening any time soon. Marian wondered if she would have reacted to her wedding in the same way. Surely not, she thought bitterly.
o0O0o
The wedding was beautiful.
For all of Aldith's nerves the night before, the weeks and months before, she looked calm and ethereal. Blond and plump, she looked like one of Sara's pretty pastries, good enough to consume, with a heavy coating of sugary lace over her best blue dress. Sir David of Doncaster trembled with joy (or a hidden fear of his own) through his vows at the door of the Lea's chapel, before sliding a ring on her finger and leading his bride into Mass.
Marian felt sick the whole time.
She was nearly feverish in her hidden jealousy. Never had she thought getting married firstwas important, but in a way, it was not that Aldith was marrying first, it was that Marian did not think she would ever get married. And in that realization, she felt as if a knife had stabbed her, just below the ribs.
She smiled through the vows, through the Mass, through the breakfast. She smiled through people's attempts at conversation. (It was especially strange, since most of these people would have been at her wedding, last year.) She wished she could have run away from these people like Robin had, so as never to face them again.
And then it occurred to her: this was not her wedding. If she escaped, no one would notice, except her father. Marian glanced over to her father. He was drinking himself into a stupor.
Marian slipped into the house, collected her cloak, and slid out the back, around the stables, and straight for Sherwood.
She ran into its leafy green embrace. As she pushed through the underbrush, the branches snapped back to hide her progress. In so doing, it tore at her red skirt, ruining her second best gown.
There were worse things.
Marian fought through and eventually came upon an old forester's trail. She knew it was there. She and Aldith often frequented the forest. More importantly, she knew how to get home.
She followed the path as it wound through the trees.
It had been nearly a year since Robin had left. Ten months, anyway. And the anger and the hurt were as fresh as if it had been yesterday. She hoped she was hiding it better, at Aldith's suggestion. But Marian knew that she had to make herself believe it before she could convince anyone else.
Away from the Bridal Party, she felt like she could breathe again. Sherwood had a calming effect on her. The forest helped quiet her mind, and today was no different. She breathed in the musty smell. Something was in the air... something...
Rain.
Damn, Marian thought. She was instantly drenched. She had hoped it would be something like Promisein the air. Still, rain on a wedding day was good fortune for the Bride and Groom, Marian remembered. Sighing, she turned back.
Coming back to the Lea's house, where she and her father were guests of lady Diot's, Marian registered that she was shivering, he teeth clattering against each other. She could also feel the tendrils of a headache wrapping around her eyes.
She made her way up to the chamber she had been sharing with Aldith and a few other ladies in waiting, stripped of her wet things and got into dry, and crawled into a pained sleep.
o0O0o
It is hot. So hot. And she is so tired. So she is in the Holy Land. Only this place could be so unbearably, unquestioningly hot.
If she is in the Holy Land, Robin must be here.
She looks, and it as if thinking of him has called him into being, here he is. He smiles at her in that way he has.
"Miss me?"
"No chance, Locksley," she says, the heat getting the better of her temper.
He does not look disappointed. He shrugs and wanders off. Suddenly there is a girl with him. She does not look familiar, or English, or even French. She has a dark mantle of hair that sweeps around her, and she is wearing long dancing skirts and bells about her ankles. All her veils are red. She dances for Robin. As she dances (and as Robin watches, enjoying the performance) the dancer peels off her veils, one by one. And, one by one, the veils dance with her.
Marian realizes too late that the veils become devils, and soon there are seven of them, dancing around Robin.
She pushes herself through them, all hairy and red with cloven hooves where their feet should be. They vanish as she touches them.
She takes Robin's right hand with her left.
She can feel him brushing his thumb over her ring finger, where a wedding band should be. She looks down to where their hands are joined. He turns her hand over so the palm faces up and traces her heartline once. Then his hand is gone. She stares at the lines in her palm (for how long? Moments? An Eternity? She cannot tell time, for she is so hot. Time has no meaning here) and slowly and suddenly, there is a map on her hands. A map that makes no sense, she cannot read it.
She looks up; Robin is gone, but there are other things in her visions.
A nun, with rosary beads.
Sand, covered in blood.
A Catherine Wheel shattering.
Much is there! But he is clutching Robin's longbow, crying.
She sees herself in a wedding dress, and a man in black stroking her collarbones.
She looks up and sees arrows flying. The arrows turn into birds.
They are seagulls, and suddenly she is at the sea.
It is not as hot here, there is a cool mist touching her brow.
She wants to linger here. It is cooler, more comfortable. Wet, not dry.
But now, now it is too cold.
Everything is frozen.
Her eyes are covered in frost and Marian cannot see. She closes her eyes...
o0O0o
Marian opened her eyes.
"Marian," she heard Sara, Sweet Sara, almost sigh her name in relief.
"Where... where am I?" Marian asked, her voice creaky with disuse.
"Do not get up!" Sara said sharply when Marian attempted to. Instead she gently sat her up and propped up pillows behind her.
Without Marian's asking, Sara held a cup for Marian to drink from.
"Thank you, Sara," Marian said, leaning back against the pillows, very tired after only a few sips.
"What do you remember?" Sara asked.
Marian's brow knit together in confusion. "The... wedding? I was in Sherwood, but I turned back. It- it started to rain. And then, such strange dreams. Of fire and water and ice..." and Robin.
"My poor Marian," Sara consoled, taking the younger girl's hand. She pushed back her lank hair. "You took ill at lady Diot's. Your father, against the advice of lady Diot, brought you home to Knighton. Matilda has been here, and said you should not have been moved, and the only thing was to wait for your fever to break."
Marian must have been in trouble if Sara had called Matilda, the healer woman. Sara knew how to nurse people, but Matilda was good enough to be a physician.
"Where is my father?"
"Here, of course."
"May I speak to him?"
"I will go and fetch him, if that is what you wish."
"Thank you, Sara," Marian said, creeping lower into her bedclothes. It was not long to wait for her father.
"Marian, my child," he said, sweeping into the room and delivering a kiss to her forehead.
"Father," Marian smiled sleepily. "How long have I been... asleep?"
He sat down heavily on her bed and cupped her cheek. "Let us not think on that, dearest. Let us just rejoice that you are mending."
"How long, father? What have I missed?"
"A... a week," he said reluctantly.
A week. Meaning it was Sunday, meaning that there was a Council of Nobles meeting in three days. "Do you think I will be well enough?"
"Well enough for what?"
"For Wednesday," Marian prompted.
"Oh. Marian..."
He was going to tell her she could not go. Marian was disappointed, though this conversation had already tired her. How she would get through a meeting was beyond her.
"I... I am no longer Sheriff, it would seem."
I must still be dreaming, she thought.
"Prince John is consolidating his power; he knew I was too loyal to the King. I have been replaced by a man called Vaisey."
Marian could see her father's lips moving, but his words hardly registered with her.
Sir Edward petted her hair and said, "I will come back when you are feeling better."
Her father left and Sara came back and prepared a bath for Marian. She allowed Sara to pamper her, hardly noticing anything around her. Instead her mind was whirling. Everything had been set a tilt when Robin had left. Now Aldith was married off and could hardly be an ally. Most of the girls she had grown up, married, and moved away. Almost none wrote. And now, Father had been ousted from power. What manner of man was Vaisey? Surely not a good one, if he allied with a prince over a king. Greedy. Cruel? Marian must prepare herself for that possibility.
"There you are, my Lady," said Sara, tucking Marian into bed. What an odd phrase, "there you are." Of course she was there, physically at least.
Perhaps not mentally.
"Thank you, Sara," Marian said absently.
"I shall bring you some broth, my Lady."
Marian was not hungry. "Very well."
An enemy. She had never really had one before. And maybe Vaisey would not be an adversary?
Who was she kidding?
They were in trouble; her father, the nobles, all of Nottingham, embroiled in a near revolt.
Marian fell into uneasy dreams.
Author: glorious_clio
Rating: PG13
Warnings: none; pre-series
Summary: Marian stays behind after Robin abruptly breaks their engagement and goes off to the Holy Land. What happens to those left behind? This is not a romance.
Characters: Marian, mentions of Robin, OC's
Disclaimer: I do not hold any ownership over the BBC's version of Robin Hood.
Chapter Two: Feverish Jealousy
I ain't missing you at all
Since you've been gone, away
I ain't missing you
No matter, what I might say
There's a message, in the wires
And I'm sending you this signal tonight
You don't know, how desperate I've become
And it looks like I'm losing this fight
o0O0o
Marian remained in Nottingham after Twelfth Night. There was more to distract her there. She liked going to the Council of Nobles meetings, and preferred not to wade through the snow every other week to get there. She played chess every evening with her father (often to his disappointment when she bested him). Lent began and Marian observed all the Holy Days, and of course, made sure their supply of fish was well stocked (no other meat was allowed, and no sweets). Forty days was a long time.
Sometimes Aldith came with her mother to the Council of Nobles, and then Marian was filled in on the wedding arrangements. Marian swallowed her jealousy and her pride when she agreed to be one of Aldith's bridesmaids.
In her heart, she prayed for the jealousy and the pain and the anger to go away. Anything would be preferable to this hateful envy. It was not Aldith's fault, it was Robin's.
After the Easter season was over, Marian went straight to lady Diot to serve Aldith in the final days until her nuptials. She felt she had been run ragged by the fasting of Lent, the feasting of Easter, and now the final preparations for the wedding. She had not been home to Knighton in several months, and she was beginning to miss Sweet Sara and John (who was just an affectionate grump). But duty called, Marian answered, and she needed to be with her best friend, even if silences between them had become a bit awkward.
Aldith was in a tizzy. She was nervous over becoming someone's wife, but instead of articulating that, she was instead panicking over tiny, insignificant details. Lady Diot and Marian were simply trying to keep her from doing anything crazy. But rational conversation with Aldith would not be happening any time soon. Marian wondered if she would have reacted to her wedding in the same way. Surely not, she thought bitterly.
o0O0o
The wedding was beautiful.
For all of Aldith's nerves the night before, the weeks and months before, she looked calm and ethereal. Blond and plump, she looked like one of Sara's pretty pastries, good enough to consume, with a heavy coating of sugary lace over her best blue dress. Sir David of Doncaster trembled with joy (or a hidden fear of his own) through his vows at the door of the Lea's chapel, before sliding a ring on her finger and leading his bride into Mass.
Marian felt sick the whole time.
She was nearly feverish in her hidden jealousy. Never had she thought getting married firstwas important, but in a way, it was not that Aldith was marrying first, it was that Marian did not think she would ever get married. And in that realization, she felt as if a knife had stabbed her, just below the ribs.
She smiled through the vows, through the Mass, through the breakfast. She smiled through people's attempts at conversation. (It was especially strange, since most of these people would have been at her wedding, last year.) She wished she could have run away from these people like Robin had, so as never to face them again.
And then it occurred to her: this was not her wedding. If she escaped, no one would notice, except her father. Marian glanced over to her father. He was drinking himself into a stupor.
Marian slipped into the house, collected her cloak, and slid out the back, around the stables, and straight for Sherwood.
She ran into its leafy green embrace. As she pushed through the underbrush, the branches snapped back to hide her progress. In so doing, it tore at her red skirt, ruining her second best gown.
There were worse things.
Marian fought through and eventually came upon an old forester's trail. She knew it was there. She and Aldith often frequented the forest. More importantly, she knew how to get home.
She followed the path as it wound through the trees.
It had been nearly a year since Robin had left. Ten months, anyway. And the anger and the hurt were as fresh as if it had been yesterday. She hoped she was hiding it better, at Aldith's suggestion. But Marian knew that she had to make herself believe it before she could convince anyone else.
Away from the Bridal Party, she felt like she could breathe again. Sherwood had a calming effect on her. The forest helped quiet her mind, and today was no different. She breathed in the musty smell. Something was in the air... something...
Rain.
Damn, Marian thought. She was instantly drenched. She had hoped it would be something like Promisein the air. Still, rain on a wedding day was good fortune for the Bride and Groom, Marian remembered. Sighing, she turned back.
Coming back to the Lea's house, where she and her father were guests of lady Diot's, Marian registered that she was shivering, he teeth clattering against each other. She could also feel the tendrils of a headache wrapping around her eyes.
She made her way up to the chamber she had been sharing with Aldith and a few other ladies in waiting, stripped of her wet things and got into dry, and crawled into a pained sleep.
o0O0o
It is hot. So hot. And she is so tired. So she is in the Holy Land. Only this place could be so unbearably, unquestioningly hot.
If she is in the Holy Land, Robin must be here.
She looks, and it as if thinking of him has called him into being, here he is. He smiles at her in that way he has.
"Miss me?"
"No chance, Locksley," she says, the heat getting the better of her temper.
He does not look disappointed. He shrugs and wanders off. Suddenly there is a girl with him. She does not look familiar, or English, or even French. She has a dark mantle of hair that sweeps around her, and she is wearing long dancing skirts and bells about her ankles. All her veils are red. She dances for Robin. As she dances (and as Robin watches, enjoying the performance) the dancer peels off her veils, one by one. And, one by one, the veils dance with her.
Marian realizes too late that the veils become devils, and soon there are seven of them, dancing around Robin.
She pushes herself through them, all hairy and red with cloven hooves where their feet should be. They vanish as she touches them.
She takes Robin's right hand with her left.
She can feel him brushing his thumb over her ring finger, where a wedding band should be. She looks down to where their hands are joined. He turns her hand over so the palm faces up and traces her heartline once. Then his hand is gone. She stares at the lines in her palm (for how long? Moments? An Eternity? She cannot tell time, for she is so hot. Time has no meaning here) and slowly and suddenly, there is a map on her hands. A map that makes no sense, she cannot read it.
She looks up; Robin is gone, but there are other things in her visions.
A nun, with rosary beads.
Sand, covered in blood.
A Catherine Wheel shattering.
Much is there! But he is clutching Robin's longbow, crying.
She sees herself in a wedding dress, and a man in black stroking her collarbones.
She looks up and sees arrows flying. The arrows turn into birds.
They are seagulls, and suddenly she is at the sea.
It is not as hot here, there is a cool mist touching her brow.
She wants to linger here. It is cooler, more comfortable. Wet, not dry.
But now, now it is too cold.
Everything is frozen.
Her eyes are covered in frost and Marian cannot see. She closes her eyes...
o0O0o
Marian opened her eyes.
"Marian," she heard Sara, Sweet Sara, almost sigh her name in relief.
"Where... where am I?" Marian asked, her voice creaky with disuse.
"Do not get up!" Sara said sharply when Marian attempted to. Instead she gently sat her up and propped up pillows behind her.
Without Marian's asking, Sara held a cup for Marian to drink from.
"Thank you, Sara," Marian said, leaning back against the pillows, very tired after only a few sips.
"What do you remember?" Sara asked.
Marian's brow knit together in confusion. "The... wedding? I was in Sherwood, but I turned back. It- it started to rain. And then, such strange dreams. Of fire and water and ice..." and Robin.
"My poor Marian," Sara consoled, taking the younger girl's hand. She pushed back her lank hair. "You took ill at lady Diot's. Your father, against the advice of lady Diot, brought you home to Knighton. Matilda has been here, and said you should not have been moved, and the only thing was to wait for your fever to break."
Marian must have been in trouble if Sara had called Matilda, the healer woman. Sara knew how to nurse people, but Matilda was good enough to be a physician.
"Where is my father?"
"Here, of course."
"May I speak to him?"
"I will go and fetch him, if that is what you wish."
"Thank you, Sara," Marian said, creeping lower into her bedclothes. It was not long to wait for her father.
"Marian, my child," he said, sweeping into the room and delivering a kiss to her forehead.
"Father," Marian smiled sleepily. "How long have I been... asleep?"
He sat down heavily on her bed and cupped her cheek. "Let us not think on that, dearest. Let us just rejoice that you are mending."
"How long, father? What have I missed?"
"A... a week," he said reluctantly.
A week. Meaning it was Sunday, meaning that there was a Council of Nobles meeting in three days. "Do you think I will be well enough?"
"Well enough for what?"
"For Wednesday," Marian prompted.
"Oh. Marian..."
He was going to tell her she could not go. Marian was disappointed, though this conversation had already tired her. How she would get through a meeting was beyond her.
"I... I am no longer Sheriff, it would seem."
I must still be dreaming, she thought.
"Prince John is consolidating his power; he knew I was too loyal to the King. I have been replaced by a man called Vaisey."
Marian could see her father's lips moving, but his words hardly registered with her.
Sir Edward petted her hair and said, "I will come back when you are feeling better."
Her father left and Sara came back and prepared a bath for Marian. She allowed Sara to pamper her, hardly noticing anything around her. Instead her mind was whirling. Everything had been set a tilt when Robin had left. Now Aldith was married off and could hardly be an ally. Most of the girls she had grown up, married, and moved away. Almost none wrote. And now, Father had been ousted from power. What manner of man was Vaisey? Surely not a good one, if he allied with a prince over a king. Greedy. Cruel? Marian must prepare herself for that possibility.
"There you are, my Lady," said Sara, tucking Marian into bed. What an odd phrase, "there you are." Of course she was there, physically at least.
Perhaps not mentally.
"Thank you, Sara," Marian said absently.
"I shall bring you some broth, my Lady."
Marian was not hungry. "Very well."
An enemy. She had never really had one before. And maybe Vaisey would not be an adversary?
Who was she kidding?
They were in trouble; her father, the nobles, all of Nottingham, embroiled in a near revolt.
Marian fell into uneasy dreams.