(no subject)
you all might wonder why i love cleveland more and more the older i get and here's why:
You Know You're From Cleveland If...
You actually know what Ghetto Tea is (buy it by the gallons at the dirty bird (giant eagle, like kroger) and carry it around town).
You have to look at a map before you realize Cincinnati is NOT in Kentucky (you people would not believe what a disgrace that city is. they're the most segrgated city in the us, they give ohio a bad name)
The phrase "lake effect" strikes terror in your heart (AHHHHHHH).
You always knew you lived in the Rock n Roll Capital of the World (duh)
Tourists ask you what time the river catches fire (yeah that was over 20 years ago)
You believe the Second Coming meant the Browns returning in 1999 (i went to rallies AND knew the bernie kozar song, bitches)
You don't really know any homosexuals, you just know that there are a lot of
them in Lakewood (well since i'm from the 'wood i actaully did know some. bob and tom lived on my street and they let me and my brother play with their dogs ginger and ruby).
You know you don't really have an accent, the rest of the world does (told you).
You take Dead Man's Curve at 60 mph holding your breath (they light it up real pretty like and have rumble strips, super fun to drive).
You know about the Eastside/We stside rivalry and you support it, but don't
quite understand it (WESTSIDE!!!!).
Your neighborhood schools went without sports because all the senior citizens
refused to pass the levies (they think that if they don't pass the levies schools'll work harder to educate kids. obviously that doesn't work so all the really athletic kids end up going ot the private schools that they can afford or get scholarships for. it's really sad actually).
You actually know how to pronounce Cuyahoga (kai-a-hoe-ga, duh it mean crooked river, we even have a beer named after that).
You can't tell Brook Park, Brooklyn, or Old Brooklyn apart.
You see Christmas lights still up in July (or year round, whatever).
You have gotten 3 speeding tickets, and they are all from the mile long
stretch of a suburb named Linndale (bastards all gang up there).
You have no idea how exactly to get to the Flats, you just kind of end up on a bank and start partying (there's two banks, the west and east, and it's bunch of bars/resuraunts on the river. it's fallen on hard times the last 10 years because of urban sprawl but it's been making a comeback lately).
St. Patty's Day is your number one holiday, and even if you aren't Irish (we have a PARADE which i've been in. the whole fucking city shuts down to drink and wear green, it's sweet).
You hear there are always famous people in town, but you have never seen one (i know the hotel they stay at, but i did see clinton in 1992).
You take credit for Cedar Point even though it is 2 hours away (ptsh, try and hour if you're under 25 and driving).
You honestly believe that Cleveland is the best city in the world (come on, people are friendly, cost of living is low and we have cool shit to do).
You're still dumbfounded by the Leaping Fountain in Tower City (it dances to music and lights up! amAZing).
You have never ridden in a taxi (i've only done it once in cleveland and that was this summer when we were going to new york...you fucking walk or take the bus at home!)
You wear shorts the first day of the year if it isn't below 30 and snowing,
just because you can (ok i don't wear shorts, but everyone else does ;->).
You're still relishing 1987 when we ALMOST made it to the Super Bowl (bob still talks about it).
You counted down with the monument in Tower City to the exact second in 1999,
when the Browns came back (and then when they came back we had a giant lightbulb coulnting down to the millenium).
You know Tower City isn't a city at all (SHOPPING!).
Stories of Little Italy still send chills down your spine (scary little area, cute but i wouldn't go there alone).
You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction (you all think it's bad here, construction season in cleveland relaly is year round).
You live less than 30 minutes from some college or university (i'm close to 4 actaully).
You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candy ones (the most poisonous nut in the world! but the candy ones are simply delicious).
Toward the lake means north, and toward the river means south (so i'm not actaully lost in cleveland as badly as i am here).
You measure distance in minutes (because we're actually close to stuff, anyone can tell you the distance of any place in walking and driving not miles).
You've had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day (happens about march-june and then october-december).
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: Where's my
coat at?
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked (yeah people do this all the time, we lock our doors).
You carry jumper cables in your car (and blankets and a shovel if it's winter).
You know what 'pop' is (oh yeah).
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit (all of mine were big enough to fit over a coat. my dad used to bring plastic bags chris and i could use as hats if it rained).
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow you'd be suprised how much smoother the roads are in the winter).
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown (oki don't agree with this one, but i do rock it when i'm home).
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but
requires 6 pages for sports (you should see how HUGE the sports section and, depending on the day the extra section, is compared to even the front page).
You Know You're From Cleveland If...
You actually know what Ghetto Tea is (buy it by the gallons at the dirty bird (giant eagle, like kroger) and carry it around town).
You have to look at a map before you realize Cincinnati is NOT in Kentucky (you people would not believe what a disgrace that city is. they're the most segrgated city in the us, they give ohio a bad name)
The phrase "lake effect" strikes terror in your heart (AHHHHHHH).
You always knew you lived in the Rock n Roll Capital of the World (duh)
Tourists ask you what time the river catches fire (yeah that was over 20 years ago)
You believe the Second Coming meant the Browns returning in 1999 (i went to rallies AND knew the bernie kozar song, bitches)
You don't really know any homosexuals, you just know that there are a lot of
them in Lakewood (well since i'm from the 'wood i actaully did know some. bob and tom lived on my street and they let me and my brother play with their dogs ginger and ruby).
You know you don't really have an accent, the rest of the world does (told you).
You take Dead Man's Curve at 60 mph holding your breath (they light it up real pretty like and have rumble strips, super fun to drive).
You know about the Eastside/We stside rivalry and you support it, but don't
quite understand it (WESTSIDE!!!!).
Your neighborhood schools went without sports because all the senior citizens
refused to pass the levies (they think that if they don't pass the levies schools'll work harder to educate kids. obviously that doesn't work so all the really athletic kids end up going ot the private schools that they can afford or get scholarships for. it's really sad actually).
You actually know how to pronounce Cuyahoga (kai-a-hoe-ga, duh it mean crooked river, we even have a beer named after that).
You can't tell Brook Park, Brooklyn, or Old Brooklyn apart.
You see Christmas lights still up in July (or year round, whatever).
You have gotten 3 speeding tickets, and they are all from the mile long
stretch of a suburb named Linndale (bastards all gang up there).
You have no idea how exactly to get to the Flats, you just kind of end up on a bank and start partying (there's two banks, the west and east, and it's bunch of bars/resuraunts on the river. it's fallen on hard times the last 10 years because of urban sprawl but it's been making a comeback lately).
St. Patty's Day is your number one holiday, and even if you aren't Irish (we have a PARADE which i've been in. the whole fucking city shuts down to drink and wear green, it's sweet).
You hear there are always famous people in town, but you have never seen one (i know the hotel they stay at, but i did see clinton in 1992).
You take credit for Cedar Point even though it is 2 hours away (ptsh, try and hour if you're under 25 and driving).
You honestly believe that Cleveland is the best city in the world (come on, people are friendly, cost of living is low and we have cool shit to do).
You're still dumbfounded by the Leaping Fountain in Tower City (it dances to music and lights up! amAZing).
You have never ridden in a taxi (i've only done it once in cleveland and that was this summer when we were going to new york...you fucking walk or take the bus at home!)
You wear shorts the first day of the year if it isn't below 30 and snowing,
just because you can (ok i don't wear shorts, but everyone else does ;->).
You're still relishing 1987 when we ALMOST made it to the Super Bowl (bob still talks about it).
You counted down with the monument in Tower City to the exact second in 1999,
when the Browns came back (and then when they came back we had a giant lightbulb coulnting down to the millenium).
You know Tower City isn't a city at all (SHOPPING!).
Stories of Little Italy still send chills down your spine (scary little area, cute but i wouldn't go there alone).
You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction (you all think it's bad here, construction season in cleveland relaly is year round).
You live less than 30 minutes from some college or university (i'm close to 4 actaully).
You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candy ones (the most poisonous nut in the world! but the candy ones are simply delicious).
Toward the lake means north, and toward the river means south (so i'm not actaully lost in cleveland as badly as i am here).
You measure distance in minutes (because we're actually close to stuff, anyone can tell you the distance of any place in walking and driving not miles).
You've had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day (happens about march-june and then october-december).
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: Where's my
coat at?
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked (yeah people do this all the time, we lock our doors).
You carry jumper cables in your car (and blankets and a shovel if it's winter).
You know what 'pop' is (oh yeah).
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit (all of mine were big enough to fit over a coat. my dad used to bring plastic bags chris and i could use as hats if it rained).
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow you'd be suprised how much smoother the roads are in the winter).
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown (oki don't agree with this one, but i do rock it when i'm home).
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but
requires 6 pages for sports (you should see how HUGE the sports section and, depending on the day the extra section, is compared to even the front page).