regret (i am not)
Just thinking of current events and just realizing just how important the past can be in regards to how relationships can evolve or mutate over time. Never have I ever seen any past loves in any light except for positive ones. And while many might even think me strange to say so...I truly believe that what happened in the past was for the benefit of all parties in one method or another. Whether there were mistakes made, or choices that were regrettable in hindsight, perhaps happened simply due to us just needing some kind of instigation. A means for us to find out who and what we truly are.
And as such, perhaps it might even be fair enough to say that whatever happened next were important towards mutual development, maturity et. al. I sometimes get this strange, glassy look when I mention that I hold no grudges, nor blame others for their choices. This is not to say that I blame myself either. Sometimes I truly feel that there truly is noone to blame, and in that, perhaps things happened the way they had to given circumstance. Perhaps we needed the mutual company that took on that form at the time? Maybe we undertake certain guises at certain points in our lives with certain needs to be met. And as such, this is what so-called dating truly is, merely fulfuilling those requirements despite the gulfs that lay between two people.Perhaps it isnt truly some form of co-dependence, but rather a fleeting need to be recognized by a certain personality and shape.
On the surface, this may seem base and almost depressing. But let us really dig deeper and ask ourselves about the difference between the right-nows, and the always-types. Perhaps some roles can wind up as defaults for some, while for others, the roles can change from time to time. I still feel that many loves in my past were indeed best friends first, and I will likely always see this as a key element for something that can transcend mere comfort friends.
Like a good friend once theorized, there are indeed multiple soul mates in the world for us, and the challenge lies in us being able to find them, and recognize them as such. We need to stop allowing ourselves to give into ideas that may only work for puritanicals, and start accepting that there may in fact be more out there for us than a mere one in billions. In a growing populace, with only more forms of companionship growing at an ever alrming rate, it might be best to stay true to our impulses without any sudden downshift where we let nesting instincts take over.
This is not to say that cohabitation and marriage are tired concepts. Not at all. But rather it may be time to be honest to our induviduality, and seek without masking our feelings and just plain settling. Some folks are better off with close friends rather than lovers. I have a feeling the economy will be fine with one less future divorce.
Then again, perhaps I am saying this merely because I have not been in any serious relationship for some time. The detatchment has become overgrowth, with only certain modes of clarity shining through. But being that this is the longest time I have ever gone as single, perhaps it was finally time to start being honest to myself and others. I have no wish to be in something to be lamented later, no wish to be disapproving of anothers tastes, no wish to gloss over things if only to have someone near. And even though I have likely been guilty of all the above, I can now say that there will no longer be any room for these in my personal life. There surely is room for true understanding (as in the verb) to grow.
Knowing that the people we were helped us bcome the people we are today makes for some fascinating thoughts. And maybe, just maybe...we are all the more healthy because of it.
- And so...there will be no regrets. Not a one.
And as such, perhaps it might even be fair enough to say that whatever happened next were important towards mutual development, maturity et. al. I sometimes get this strange, glassy look when I mention that I hold no grudges, nor blame others for their choices. This is not to say that I blame myself either. Sometimes I truly feel that there truly is noone to blame, and in that, perhaps things happened the way they had to given circumstance. Perhaps we needed the mutual company that took on that form at the time? Maybe we undertake certain guises at certain points in our lives with certain needs to be met. And as such, this is what so-called dating truly is, merely fulfuilling those requirements despite the gulfs that lay between two people.Perhaps it isnt truly some form of co-dependence, but rather a fleeting need to be recognized by a certain personality and shape.
On the surface, this may seem base and almost depressing. But let us really dig deeper and ask ourselves about the difference between the right-nows, and the always-types. Perhaps some roles can wind up as defaults for some, while for others, the roles can change from time to time. I still feel that many loves in my past were indeed best friends first, and I will likely always see this as a key element for something that can transcend mere comfort friends.
Like a good friend once theorized, there are indeed multiple soul mates in the world for us, and the challenge lies in us being able to find them, and recognize them as such. We need to stop allowing ourselves to give into ideas that may only work for puritanicals, and start accepting that there may in fact be more out there for us than a mere one in billions. In a growing populace, with only more forms of companionship growing at an ever alrming rate, it might be best to stay true to our impulses without any sudden downshift where we let nesting instincts take over.
This is not to say that cohabitation and marriage are tired concepts. Not at all. But rather it may be time to be honest to our induviduality, and seek without masking our feelings and just plain settling. Some folks are better off with close friends rather than lovers. I have a feeling the economy will be fine with one less future divorce.
Then again, perhaps I am saying this merely because I have not been in any serious relationship for some time. The detatchment has become overgrowth, with only certain modes of clarity shining through. But being that this is the longest time I have ever gone as single, perhaps it was finally time to start being honest to myself and others. I have no wish to be in something to be lamented later, no wish to be disapproving of anothers tastes, no wish to gloss over things if only to have someone near. And even though I have likely been guilty of all the above, I can now say that there will no longer be any room for these in my personal life. There surely is room for true understanding (as in the verb) to grow.
Knowing that the people we were helped us bcome the people we are today makes for some fascinating thoughts. And maybe, just maybe...we are all the more healthy because of it.
- And so...there will be no regrets. Not a one.