愛と嘘 [One-shot]
Title: 愛と嘘 [One-shot]
Pairing: YamaRyu, YamaChii
Genre: Angst [Strong Angst]
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Death~~ T.T
Disclaimer: I don't own them~ but I own the plot
Summary: Lies and Love...what more reasons do you need until you find yourself looking down on your own dead body..?
A/N: Ok I kept this in my folder that contained most of the fics I didn't exactly want to post..But i needed strong angst a while back..Thats why I wrote this...I sorta cried while writing this~ So i'm hoping you will too! lol that sounded wrong, sorry if there is some grammar errors or what not....so try to enjoy! :)
"Ryutaro want to go out to dinner with me?", Yamada asked, "Umm...sure I got nothing else to do..", Ryutaro said, he stood up and grabbed his jacket and headed out the door with Yamada...
"I wouldn't call myself a perfect boyfriend...if you ask me...but here..5 months together...we went far..." Yamada said, handing over a yellow colored box, "Ah..Arigato Yama-chan..", Ryutaro said, he opened the small yellow colored box to find a necklace with a pendant that had his and Yamada's initials on it connected by a diamond filled heart, "Arigato Yama-chan!!", Ryutaro said hugging the older boy tightly, then he cheerfully put the necklace on, amazed by how beautiful it is, "Anou...but I didn't get you anything...", Ryutaro said pouting slightly, "Haha its fine, plus it pretty unexpected", Yamada said, "Anou we better go its getting late, Yabumama might get mad at us if we stay out too late...", Yamada asked for the bill and they both left the restaurant...
JUMP HOUSE : PM 9:23
"Well i'm tired, Oyasumi Yamada-kun~", Ryutaro said hugging the older boy tightly followed by a passionate kiss, "Oyasumi...", Yamada said before sitting down on the couch next to Chinen who was watching tv, "Hey Yama-chan...", Chinen said turning off the tv, "Anou Chii why did you turn the tv off?", Yamada asked, "Shhh...", Chinen said seductively, placing himself on top of older boy who was starting to be confused, "Chii what are you--", the older boy was cut off by a sudden kiss Chinen gave, which was quite forceful that he needed to breath sooner or later. Yamada was the one who broke the kiss, "Well?", Chinen asked, panting hard, "What do you mean 'well'?!?! That was too sudden!", Yamada said, "Y-yamada...", Chinen and Yamada both looked to see who was that and was shocked, well Yamada was the only one who was shocked to see non-other than his boyfriend, Ryutaro, standing there, tears running down the side of his face, he was in so much pain that it can't be described, "Ryutaro...I'm so sorry...", Yamada tried to explain, but when he tried to hold the younger boys hand it was just pushed away, "D-don't...ever...touch me or even talk to me...ever..again!", Ryutaro said, then he ran upstairs to his bedroom...
~-~-~
When he got up there he buried his face in his pillow saying words that he swore he'd never say, shouting "I hate Yamada!", many many times. Then Ryutaro heard a knock on the door, "Go...away...", he said inbetween sobs, "Please let me just explain...", Yamada said, leaning against Ryutaro's bedroom door. Ryutaro opened his door slightly allowing the older boy to notice that he had permission to enter
"Look...Ryu...I...This is emberassing to say but...I'm going out with Chinen too...", Yamada said
"Well that...explains everything...", Ryutaro said, still crying hard
"Why didn't you tell me...?" the younger boy asked
"I didn't think you'd approve of me being with Chinen and you at the same time..listen Chinen loves me...I can't let him crash and burn..", the older boy said
"...I'll be ok...y-you can be with him too, if it makes you happy, just don't lie to me anymore"
"Honto! Arigato Ryu-chan!! I promise to hide nothing from you ever again!!", Yamada quickly hugged the younger boy and left the room...
"If only you were in my place Yama-chan...you would know how hurt I am.."
~-~-~
A few months passed and Ryutaro would clutch his chest everytime he'll see Yamada with Chinen, hugging, kissing etc. He would always be left out everytime He, Yamada and Chinen would go out together. He just wanted to end everything here and now, he hated the way Yamada treated him and so he found a way to stop it all..."I'll savor all the last moments i'll have with him...that's if he even notices me..."
"Ne Ryu-chan wanna go with me and Chinen to the beach?", Yamada asked Ryutaro who was just sitting on the couch playing with his DS, "Um, sure I guess", Ryutaro said closing his DS and soon he remembered exactly what to do...
"Ryu-chan!! You don't want to swim!? The water feels so good~!!", Chinen shouted while he was swimming with Yamada, "No its ok! I'm not in the mood to swim!", Ryutaro shouted back, and continued preparing something that will soon come in use, "Ne Ryu-chan why didn't you swiiiiim~?", Chinen asked, "I said Chii-kun I wasn't in the mood~", Ryutaro answered back, hugging the older boy, "Now that hug was my sorry, you feel any better?", Ryutaro asked, "Haaaaiiii~!!", the older boy replied, and ran back to Yamada...
~-~-~
"Wuaahh~ That was fun! Eventhough I was in water the whole day i'm thursty~! Ah! Water!! Yokatta!", Chinen happily grabbed the water that was left on the counter, drinking almost everything but managed to leave a little left, "Wuah! That felt--....g-g-good..Ryu..chan?",Chinen said, hearing sobs from under the counter near him, "Ryu-chan!!", Chinen screamed in terror seeing blood slowly seap out of the younger boys wrist, "G-go...gom-m-men...Chii-kun..", Ryutaro said with a weak voice, "What on earth are you trying to do!?", Chinen said taking a small towel from off the counter and wrapping it around the boys wrist, "I...i'm...r-really...sorry...", Ryutaro said...eyes slowly closing..and soon Ryutaro fell on his side, pale skin, pale lips, paleness was starting to surface his entire body actually...Chinen rushed to Yamada and told him what happend to Ryutaro, Yamada shouted in sadness and in terror, eyes red from all the crying and soon Chinen, Yamada and the rest of JUMP, including Ryutaro's parents and siblings, found themselves infront of his grave....praying for him.
When everyone visited Ryutaro's room one last time Keito found a piece of paper on his bedside table that quickly caught his eye, it read:
"I can't take this anymore!!! I...I hate Yamada.......Yamada if your reading this...find out why i killed myself...a sharp pain would strike my heart in many places...all the nights we shared together..I just don't understand...I know my parent's wouldn't want for this to happen even my brother and sister..but I just had to..im...entirely sorry...~Ryutaro"
The rest of the nights where lifeless for Yamada, but for some odd reason Chinen seemed more affected by the event that had just happend, that he himself tried to commit suicide but was stopped by the other members....
~-~-~
JUMP had their dinner at home, but it was so silent. Usually Ryutaro would start the conversations or arguments that soon ends up being laughter. There was no certain aura that filled the room and all of a sudden, "I-ittai..", Yamada said palming the back of his head, trying to stop the striking pain, "Whats a matter?", Yabu asked, "N-nothing..just a sudden headache thats all..."...is it really just a headache?
3 months passed since Ryutaro passed away, and every tuesday Yamada would have horrible, no, severe headaches that could cause him to faint or even worse, though he is so confused by why it happens only on Tuesdays and why its so severe, he soon found out...
"Morimoto Ryutaro...died March 9, Tuesday...no wonder...but why only me?", Yamada said to himself, as he was looking through pictures of him with Ryutaro that he secretly kept, "Yama-chan..?", Yamada turned to see a confused looking Chinen standing in his doorway, "Y-yes Chii-kun?", Yamada said while walking over to him to help his sit down, since he had a serious leg injury 2 weeks ago because of doing his acrobats, it seems that eversince Ryutaro died Chinen could never get his stunts right
"It's ok Yama-chan I can handle this injury myself..", Chinen said
"Are you sure..I mean--"
"I'm sure, you miss him alot don't you?", Chinen asked as he picked up one picture of Ryutaro
"I..um..well...yeah.."
"It's hard...You tried your best to love a person that barely notices you...", Chinen said, tears starting to form
"W-what do you m-mean?", Yamada asked curiously, but Chinen just left Yamada, it seems Chinen wants him to find out for himself
Its 5:00 pm and Yamada is getting ready to go out with Chinen, Keito and Yuto for some bonding. It was Yuto's idea since Yamada seemed dead for the longest time in his whole life. "Ok so where do you guys want to go?", Yuto asked cheerfully, "Can I just stay here?", Yamada asked, seeming quite annoyed by Yuto's cheerfullness, "NO, listen Yamada you have to lighten up, its been 3 months...we need the old Yamada back!", Yuto shouted, but it just didn't work...it seemed Yamada was so inlove with Ryutaro that he can never be happy, "Ok, lets just stay home then..", Yuto announced then everyboy marched up to their rooms and went to do what they usually do...
~~~
5:00 PM the next day was a quiet day, Chinen was practicing his acrobat skills in the yard but with frustration building up inside, Keito was playing his guitar but he would always forget what chords where supposed to be played next, Yuto couldn't even get one combo right anymore when playing his drums, and Yamada...Yamada was quietly laying down on his bed reading a manga or two..trying to clear out his mind, but it seems Ryutaro would always pop up in his head multiple times a day and on Tuesday's he get over 100 pictures of Ryutaro popping up in his head, and that explains the severe head aches, "I-ittai...", Yamada suddenly felt a sharp pain, sharper than all the head aches he's had the past few months. His vision started getting blurry, he stood up to get some water downstairs, once he reached the first step he fell...
~~~
The hospital was quiet, and the hallways were empty, the only room that had multiple people inside and standing outside was Yamada's room. "Is he...going to be ok?", Yamada's mom asked, "I'm afraid we'll just have to wait..if he won't regain consciousness after 3 hours...i may have to announce that he is no longer...with us..", The doctor said, and that was enough to make everyone cry...1 hour passed...Yamada still hasn't regained his consciousness...another hour passed, and the doctors were already preparing the autopsy room....another hour passed...still nothing, "Please..just a few more minutes...please",Yamada's mom asked, and the doctors just nodded, and soon Yamada started to breath and his pulse rate was rising and his eyes started to flutter open, "Guys..once Yamada wakes up...tell him...im on the roof..", Chinen said to the rest of JUMP and started to run up to the roof through the emergency stair way, "M-mom? D-dad?...W-where's Chii?", Yamada asked quickly thinking Chinen would've already gone home by now and lost hope, "He's on the roof", Keito said as he walked into the room. Yamada quickly got up and noticed the iv was still in him so he just pulled it out of himself knowing that it would hurt but he didn't care, the nurses tried to restrain him but he just pushed them out of the way, he quickly ran up the emergency stairway and found chinen sitting on the edge of the building, staring at the starry sky.
"Your alive...i'm glad..", Chinen said, its as if he knew Yamada was already up there
"Chii...what are you--...get back here, get away from the edge you might--!"
"Fall? Thats the reason i'm here...", Chinen said making Yamada terrified of what might happen
"Chii.."
"I...I loved Ryutaro..Yamada..I loved him...but he was so busy going out with you!!", Chinen shouted, he was now standing on the edge
"Chii...I'm...Sorry...", Yamada said, totally shocked because of those words that just came out of Chinen's mouth
"Dont! Say...sorry...I should be sorry...I wanted to kill Ryutaro..bad...for not loving me..instead of you", Chinen said tears already flowing down on his cheeks like a river
"Chii..don't say any lies!!", Yamada shouted
"I'm not lying!!", Chinen shouted aswering back, making Yamada fall on his knees from the intense heart break he was feeling
"I kept on wishing for Ryutaro to die...but it looks like a wished too much...I had a chance to kill myself for wishing to hard..", Chinen said, crying harder and harder
"Chii...so all those incidents of taking illegal drugs? nearly cutting yourself..it was all because you felt..guilty?", Yamada said
"What else do you think!!? You thought it was just for fun!?", Chinen shot back, making Yamada cry harder
"I want to take my leave...peacefully..in short..Ryutaro killed himself because you kept hanging out with me...All of these events revolved around me! I..I started this whole mess! Ryutaro wanted you to find out why..and I just said it..", Chinen said, making Yamada feel a heavy load pressing against his chest
"Chii..", Yamada had nothing to say, but his name and his name alone
"I'm...sorry...Atleast i'll be with Ryutaro right?", Chinen said, taking a few more steps back....and he fell
"CHII!!!", Yamada screamed but it was too late to help him, he just stood there in the middle of the rooftop sobbing Chinen's name and soon saw everything around him turn pitch black
~~~
Yamada's Note 2 years later:
I can recall when I saw Blood coming out from Ryutaro's wrist..I can recall seeing Chinen fall off a 5 story hospital, and that was all I can remember nowadays..I can't remember anything but my two friends dying...It's a painful memory that cannot be removed from my mind..I have to live with the memories...pictures of blood...its horrifying really, but I managed to live with it, i'm already 19, and still I have nightmares of Ryutaro and Chinen but again I already managed to live with it, JUMP was still in good condition despite having only 8 members including me, we managed to still do concerts and interviews but during the interviews there are times when they would ask how being JUMP without the other 2 members felt like and when Yabu tried to answer he just broke down crying, remembering Ryutaro and Chinen's smiling faces during concert and practices, true...It wasn't the same without them...But from now on I will try to live my life...until I find myself looking down on my own body...until that day comes..I have to live with the horrifying memories...who knows maybe tomorrow they might be doing an autopsy on me...haha...maybe...just maybe...
A/N: Wow this...felt...like a total fail, wait I KNOW this IS a FAIL , I know I did say that I cried while writing it..yes I did but I didn't think it was that good...so please comment ne? I know I said that I would post an okajima fic but im still working on it ok? It's hard writing something that doesn't have angst in it yet..YET [im angst biased lolz] Ok so again comment ne!!Their REALLLLLYYYYY LOVED!! IM TELLING YOU THEY ARE!! And again those who are afraid to comment don't be! I won't bite..I promise XP -nina-chan-
Pairing: YamaRyu, YamaChii
Genre: Angst [Strong Angst]
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Death~~ T.T
Disclaimer: I don't own them~ but I own the plot
Summary: Lies and Love...what more reasons do you need until you find yourself looking down on your own dead body..?
A/N: Ok I kept this in my folder that contained most of the fics I didn't exactly want to post..But i needed strong angst a while back..Thats why I wrote this...I sorta cried while writing this~ So i'm hoping you will too! lol that sounded wrong, sorry if there is some grammar errors or what not....so try to enjoy! :)
"Ryutaro want to go out to dinner with me?", Yamada asked, "Umm...sure I got nothing else to do..", Ryutaro said, he stood up and grabbed his jacket and headed out the door with Yamada...
"I wouldn't call myself a perfect boyfriend...if you ask me...but here..5 months together...we went far..." Yamada said, handing over a yellow colored box, "Ah..Arigato Yama-chan..", Ryutaro said, he opened the small yellow colored box to find a necklace with a pendant that had his and Yamada's initials on it connected by a diamond filled heart, "Arigato Yama-chan!!", Ryutaro said hugging the older boy tightly, then he cheerfully put the necklace on, amazed by how beautiful it is, "Anou...but I didn't get you anything...", Ryutaro said pouting slightly, "Haha its fine, plus it pretty unexpected", Yamada said, "Anou we better go its getting late, Yabumama might get mad at us if we stay out too late...", Yamada asked for the bill and they both left the restaurant...
JUMP HOUSE : PM 9:23
"Well i'm tired, Oyasumi Yamada-kun~", Ryutaro said hugging the older boy tightly followed by a passionate kiss, "Oyasumi...", Yamada said before sitting down on the couch next to Chinen who was watching tv, "Hey Yama-chan...", Chinen said turning off the tv, "Anou Chii why did you turn the tv off?", Yamada asked, "Shhh...", Chinen said seductively, placing himself on top of older boy who was starting to be confused, "Chii what are you--", the older boy was cut off by a sudden kiss Chinen gave, which was quite forceful that he needed to breath sooner or later. Yamada was the one who broke the kiss, "Well?", Chinen asked, panting hard, "What do you mean 'well'?!?! That was too sudden!", Yamada said, "Y-yamada...", Chinen and Yamada both looked to see who was that and was shocked, well Yamada was the only one who was shocked to see non-other than his boyfriend, Ryutaro, standing there, tears running down the side of his face, he was in so much pain that it can't be described, "Ryutaro...I'm so sorry...", Yamada tried to explain, but when he tried to hold the younger boys hand it was just pushed away, "D-don't...ever...touch me or even talk to me...ever..again!", Ryutaro said, then he ran upstairs to his bedroom...
~-~-~
When he got up there he buried his face in his pillow saying words that he swore he'd never say, shouting "I hate Yamada!", many many times. Then Ryutaro heard a knock on the door, "Go...away...", he said inbetween sobs, "Please let me just explain...", Yamada said, leaning against Ryutaro's bedroom door. Ryutaro opened his door slightly allowing the older boy to notice that he had permission to enter
"Look...Ryu...I...This is emberassing to say but...I'm going out with Chinen too...", Yamada said
"Well that...explains everything...", Ryutaro said, still crying hard
"Why didn't you tell me...?" the younger boy asked
"I didn't think you'd approve of me being with Chinen and you at the same time..listen Chinen loves me...I can't let him crash and burn..", the older boy said
"...I'll be ok...y-you can be with him too, if it makes you happy, just don't lie to me anymore"
"Honto! Arigato Ryu-chan!! I promise to hide nothing from you ever again!!", Yamada quickly hugged the younger boy and left the room...
"If only you were in my place Yama-chan...you would know how hurt I am.."
~-~-~
A few months passed and Ryutaro would clutch his chest everytime he'll see Yamada with Chinen, hugging, kissing etc. He would always be left out everytime He, Yamada and Chinen would go out together. He just wanted to end everything here and now, he hated the way Yamada treated him and so he found a way to stop it all..."I'll savor all the last moments i'll have with him...that's if he even notices me..."
"Ne Ryu-chan wanna go with me and Chinen to the beach?", Yamada asked Ryutaro who was just sitting on the couch playing with his DS, "Um, sure I guess", Ryutaro said closing his DS and soon he remembered exactly what to do...
"Ryu-chan!! You don't want to swim!? The water feels so good~!!", Chinen shouted while he was swimming with Yamada, "No its ok! I'm not in the mood to swim!", Ryutaro shouted back, and continued preparing something that will soon come in use, "Ne Ryu-chan why didn't you swiiiiim~?", Chinen asked, "I said Chii-kun I wasn't in the mood~", Ryutaro answered back, hugging the older boy, "Now that hug was my sorry, you feel any better?", Ryutaro asked, "Haaaaiiii~!!", the older boy replied, and ran back to Yamada...
~-~-~
"Wuaahh~ That was fun! Eventhough I was in water the whole day i'm thursty~! Ah! Water!! Yokatta!", Chinen happily grabbed the water that was left on the counter, drinking almost everything but managed to leave a little left, "Wuah! That felt--....g-g-good..Ryu..chan?",Chinen said, hearing sobs from under the counter near him, "Ryu-chan!!", Chinen screamed in terror seeing blood slowly seap out of the younger boys wrist, "G-go...gom-m-men...Chii-kun..", Ryutaro said with a weak voice, "What on earth are you trying to do!?", Chinen said taking a small towel from off the counter and wrapping it around the boys wrist, "I...i'm...r-really...sorry...", Ryutaro said...eyes slowly closing..and soon Ryutaro fell on his side, pale skin, pale lips, paleness was starting to surface his entire body actually...Chinen rushed to Yamada and told him what happend to Ryutaro, Yamada shouted in sadness and in terror, eyes red from all the crying and soon Chinen, Yamada and the rest of JUMP, including Ryutaro's parents and siblings, found themselves infront of his grave....praying for him.
When everyone visited Ryutaro's room one last time Keito found a piece of paper on his bedside table that quickly caught his eye, it read:
"I can't take this anymore!!! I...I hate Yamada.......Yamada if your reading this...find out why i killed myself...a sharp pain would strike my heart in many places...all the nights we shared together..I just don't understand...I know my parent's wouldn't want for this to happen even my brother and sister..but I just had to..im...entirely sorry...~Ryutaro"
The rest of the nights where lifeless for Yamada, but for some odd reason Chinen seemed more affected by the event that had just happend, that he himself tried to commit suicide but was stopped by the other members....
~-~-~
JUMP had their dinner at home, but it was so silent. Usually Ryutaro would start the conversations or arguments that soon ends up being laughter. There was no certain aura that filled the room and all of a sudden, "I-ittai..", Yamada said palming the back of his head, trying to stop the striking pain, "Whats a matter?", Yabu asked, "N-nothing..just a sudden headache thats all..."...is it really just a headache?
3 months passed since Ryutaro passed away, and every tuesday Yamada would have horrible, no, severe headaches that could cause him to faint or even worse, though he is so confused by why it happens only on Tuesdays and why its so severe, he soon found out...
"Morimoto Ryutaro...died March 9, Tuesday...no wonder...but why only me?", Yamada said to himself, as he was looking through pictures of him with Ryutaro that he secretly kept, "Yama-chan..?", Yamada turned to see a confused looking Chinen standing in his doorway, "Y-yes Chii-kun?", Yamada said while walking over to him to help his sit down, since he had a serious leg injury 2 weeks ago because of doing his acrobats, it seems that eversince Ryutaro died Chinen could never get his stunts right
"It's ok Yama-chan I can handle this injury myself..", Chinen said
"Are you sure..I mean--"
"I'm sure, you miss him alot don't you?", Chinen asked as he picked up one picture of Ryutaro
"I..um..well...yeah.."
"It's hard...You tried your best to love a person that barely notices you...", Chinen said, tears starting to form
"W-what do you m-mean?", Yamada asked curiously, but Chinen just left Yamada, it seems Chinen wants him to find out for himself
Its 5:00 pm and Yamada is getting ready to go out with Chinen, Keito and Yuto for some bonding. It was Yuto's idea since Yamada seemed dead for the longest time in his whole life. "Ok so where do you guys want to go?", Yuto asked cheerfully, "Can I just stay here?", Yamada asked, seeming quite annoyed by Yuto's cheerfullness, "NO, listen Yamada you have to lighten up, its been 3 months...we need the old Yamada back!", Yuto shouted, but it just didn't work...it seemed Yamada was so inlove with Ryutaro that he can never be happy, "Ok, lets just stay home then..", Yuto announced then everyboy marched up to their rooms and went to do what they usually do...
~~~
5:00 PM the next day was a quiet day, Chinen was practicing his acrobat skills in the yard but with frustration building up inside, Keito was playing his guitar but he would always forget what chords where supposed to be played next, Yuto couldn't even get one combo right anymore when playing his drums, and Yamada...Yamada was quietly laying down on his bed reading a manga or two..trying to clear out his mind, but it seems Ryutaro would always pop up in his head multiple times a day and on Tuesday's he get over 100 pictures of Ryutaro popping up in his head, and that explains the severe head aches, "I-ittai...", Yamada suddenly felt a sharp pain, sharper than all the head aches he's had the past few months. His vision started getting blurry, he stood up to get some water downstairs, once he reached the first step he fell...
~~~
The hospital was quiet, and the hallways were empty, the only room that had multiple people inside and standing outside was Yamada's room. "Is he...going to be ok?", Yamada's mom asked, "I'm afraid we'll just have to wait..if he won't regain consciousness after 3 hours...i may have to announce that he is no longer...with us..", The doctor said, and that was enough to make everyone cry...1 hour passed...Yamada still hasn't regained his consciousness...another hour passed, and the doctors were already preparing the autopsy room....another hour passed...still nothing, "Please..just a few more minutes...please",Yamada's mom asked, and the doctors just nodded, and soon Yamada started to breath and his pulse rate was rising and his eyes started to flutter open, "Guys..once Yamada wakes up...tell him...im on the roof..", Chinen said to the rest of JUMP and started to run up to the roof through the emergency stair way, "M-mom? D-dad?...W-where's Chii?", Yamada asked quickly thinking Chinen would've already gone home by now and lost hope, "He's on the roof", Keito said as he walked into the room. Yamada quickly got up and noticed the iv was still in him so he just pulled it out of himself knowing that it would hurt but he didn't care, the nurses tried to restrain him but he just pushed them out of the way, he quickly ran up the emergency stairway and found chinen sitting on the edge of the building, staring at the starry sky.
"Your alive...i'm glad..", Chinen said, its as if he knew Yamada was already up there
"Chii...what are you--...get back here, get away from the edge you might--!"
"Fall? Thats the reason i'm here...", Chinen said making Yamada terrified of what might happen
"Chii.."
"I...I loved Ryutaro..Yamada..I loved him...but he was so busy going out with you!!", Chinen shouted, he was now standing on the edge
"Chii...I'm...Sorry...", Yamada said, totally shocked because of those words that just came out of Chinen's mouth
"Dont! Say...sorry...I should be sorry...I wanted to kill Ryutaro..bad...for not loving me..instead of you", Chinen said tears already flowing down on his cheeks like a river
"Chii..don't say any lies!!", Yamada shouted
"I'm not lying!!", Chinen shouted aswering back, making Yamada fall on his knees from the intense heart break he was feeling
"I kept on wishing for Ryutaro to die...but it looks like a wished too much...I had a chance to kill myself for wishing to hard..", Chinen said, crying harder and harder
"Chii...so all those incidents of taking illegal drugs? nearly cutting yourself..it was all because you felt..guilty?", Yamada said
"What else do you think!!? You thought it was just for fun!?", Chinen shot back, making Yamada cry harder
"I want to take my leave...peacefully..in short..Ryutaro killed himself because you kept hanging out with me...All of these events revolved around me! I..I started this whole mess! Ryutaro wanted you to find out why..and I just said it..", Chinen said, making Yamada feel a heavy load pressing against his chest
"Chii..", Yamada had nothing to say, but his name and his name alone
"I'm...sorry...Atleast i'll be with Ryutaro right?", Chinen said, taking a few more steps back....and he fell
"CHII!!!", Yamada screamed but it was too late to help him, he just stood there in the middle of the rooftop sobbing Chinen's name and soon saw everything around him turn pitch black
~~~
Yamada's Note 2 years later:
I can recall when I saw Blood coming out from Ryutaro's wrist..I can recall seeing Chinen fall off a 5 story hospital, and that was all I can remember nowadays..I can't remember anything but my two friends dying...It's a painful memory that cannot be removed from my mind..I have to live with the memories...pictures of blood...its horrifying really, but I managed to live with it, i'm already 19, and still I have nightmares of Ryutaro and Chinen but again I already managed to live with it, JUMP was still in good condition despite having only 8 members including me, we managed to still do concerts and interviews but during the interviews there are times when they would ask how being JUMP without the other 2 members felt like and when Yabu tried to answer he just broke down crying, remembering Ryutaro and Chinen's smiling faces during concert and practices, true...It wasn't the same without them...But from now on I will try to live my life...until I find myself looking down on my own body...until that day comes..I have to live with the horrifying memories...who knows maybe tomorrow they might be doing an autopsy on me...haha...maybe...just maybe...
A/N: Wow this...felt...like a total fail, wait I KNOW this IS a FAIL , I know I did say that I cried while writing it..yes I did but I didn't think it was that good...so please comment ne? I know I said that I would post an okajima fic but im still working on it ok? It's hard writing something that doesn't have angst in it yet..YET [im angst biased lolz] Ok so again comment ne!!Their REALLLLLYYYYY LOVED!! IM TELLING YOU THEY ARE!! And again those who are afraid to comment don't be! I won't bite..I promise XP -nina-chan-