(no subject)
Well, this has been an interesting month. My darling little sister Hannah called me a few weeks ago to tell me she was off to Ireland. Unfortunately for her, I'd already spoken to her fiance's mother and I knew she'd been hiding things from me. Not that I can really complain, I hide things from her all of the time. Doesn't mean I'm not going to, though. Jesus H Christ, would it kill the girl if she could remember that what she does affects me also, publicly and privately? Like dropping her fiance, that nearly cost me more campaign money than I care to think about. Although she did drop Harvard at the same time, I could use her tuition money to make up for any lacking funds as a result of her dumping that snot nosed punk. Oh who am I kidding? I'd never spend her college fund like that, I'm not that evil. And she damn well knows it. I need to work on that, especially if she's going to be here for a visit. I already have two women here that have me wrapped around their fingers, I don't need Hannah showing them how to sling my balls up with a look, too.
But I digress. Hell of a month, or not. At least that damn embarassing excuse for an apocalypse is over with. I finally pulled Ari off of the negotiations with that and sent her over to the PETA people to finesse them. I'll be lucky if that never shows up in an ad for whichever puppet the bleeding liberals get to run against me in '08.
There were however a few bright spots recently on the business front. The personal front is always bright, I have my lovely wife to ensure that, but not the point here. The point is I found myself the beneficiary of a very generous gift from one Ralph Pallizo. Always a pleasure doing business with him when our paths cross, and they sure as hell crossed a few weeks ago. I was in the middle of enjoying an evening with my aforementioned lovely wife when I got a phone call from the chief of police informing me that there was a gunfight at Ralph's Bar. Normally I wouldn't care, let the local mobsters shoot each other. But this involved a few of the voting citizens getting shot, and then there was the matter of who was actually doing the shooting.
Now, I've cultivated a few relationships with some of the more discreet mafia families back East, and to learn one of them that I've had no contact with thought they could come and shoot up my town? Did not make me happy. Made me damn pissy is what it did, so I had myself a chat with Mr Zane Pinciatti after he and his remaining men were brought into the station. I let him know of my predicament; turn him into the FBI so I can use him for good press come election time, or turn a blind eye as to what he's all wanted for and let him go on a lesser charge back to New York. Told him to think about what that was worth to him and I'd be back. Then I went and picked up my gift from Ralph and got his side of the story. Seems he wanted a favor, too. There was a girl brought in with them and he wanted to see her put in an institution and far away from here instead of jailed here for attempted murder. Since he'd told me it was her that had brought this unsolicited violence to my town, I agreed. Didn't even charge him extra, but I charged Zane Pinciatti extra. We have ourselves an arrangement now, he gets to go home with his niece as long as he locks her up and coughs up the cash and the support in New York when it's time for the Primaries. Gotta love the mafia, one of the only institutions left that still firmly believes in the almighty bribe.
The other thing that put a smile on my devilishly handsome face was getting a phone call from Italy. The local law enforcement was looking for some old fashioned justice for a cop killer. They came to the right person, I take my name very seriously. This murderer was spotted over there after a long absence and they were able to track his last known address to Sunnydale. The chief over there sent me the file on this Cristoff Eleni, and he's nothing more than a common criminal, really. But hey, who am I to argue if they say he murdered their brethren in blue? Besides, it's an easy $10,000 for me to let them come for a gypsy safari in Sunnydale. I had a little digging of my own done into his time here in my town, and I found out he's living with and rumored to be recently married to an Eva Covault. She happens to be a very wealthy woman, one who I really should get to know for future support. It's a shame, the Italians are here and my people have already taken Mr Eleni and dropped him off on the hunting grounds, but perhaps I should've found a way to get a little bidding war going. The Italians want him dead, I have to assume this Ms Covault wants him alive, I could've auctioned him off to the highest bidder. Eh, hindsight is 20/20. But I'll keep it in mind if Mr Eleni makes it out alive and the Italians want to try again. Could be amusing as well as profitable.
But I digress. Hell of a month, or not. At least that damn embarassing excuse for an apocalypse is over with. I finally pulled Ari off of the negotiations with that and sent her over to the PETA people to finesse them. I'll be lucky if that never shows up in an ad for whichever puppet the bleeding liberals get to run against me in '08.
There were however a few bright spots recently on the business front. The personal front is always bright, I have my lovely wife to ensure that, but not the point here. The point is I found myself the beneficiary of a very generous gift from one Ralph Pallizo. Always a pleasure doing business with him when our paths cross, and they sure as hell crossed a few weeks ago. I was in the middle of enjoying an evening with my aforementioned lovely wife when I got a phone call from the chief of police informing me that there was a gunfight at Ralph's Bar. Normally I wouldn't care, let the local mobsters shoot each other. But this involved a few of the voting citizens getting shot, and then there was the matter of who was actually doing the shooting.
Now, I've cultivated a few relationships with some of the more discreet mafia families back East, and to learn one of them that I've had no contact with thought they could come and shoot up my town? Did not make me happy. Made me damn pissy is what it did, so I had myself a chat with Mr Zane Pinciatti after he and his remaining men were brought into the station. I let him know of my predicament; turn him into the FBI so I can use him for good press come election time, or turn a blind eye as to what he's all wanted for and let him go on a lesser charge back to New York. Told him to think about what that was worth to him and I'd be back. Then I went and picked up my gift from Ralph and got his side of the story. Seems he wanted a favor, too. There was a girl brought in with them and he wanted to see her put in an institution and far away from here instead of jailed here for attempted murder. Since he'd told me it was her that had brought this unsolicited violence to my town, I agreed. Didn't even charge him extra, but I charged Zane Pinciatti extra. We have ourselves an arrangement now, he gets to go home with his niece as long as he locks her up and coughs up the cash and the support in New York when it's time for the Primaries. Gotta love the mafia, one of the only institutions left that still firmly believes in the almighty bribe.
The other thing that put a smile on my devilishly handsome face was getting a phone call from Italy. The local law enforcement was looking for some old fashioned justice for a cop killer. They came to the right person, I take my name very seriously. This murderer was spotted over there after a long absence and they were able to track his last known address to Sunnydale. The chief over there sent me the file on this Cristoff Eleni, and he's nothing more than a common criminal, really. But hey, who am I to argue if they say he murdered their brethren in blue? Besides, it's an easy $10,000 for me to let them come for a gypsy safari in Sunnydale. I had a little digging of my own done into his time here in my town, and I found out he's living with and rumored to be recently married to an Eva Covault. She happens to be a very wealthy woman, one who I really should get to know for future support. It's a shame, the Italians are here and my people have already taken Mr Eleni and dropped him off on the hunting grounds, but perhaps I should've found a way to get a little bidding war going. The Italians want him dead, I have to assume this Ms Covault wants him alive, I could've auctioned him off to the highest bidder. Eh, hindsight is 20/20. But I'll keep it in mind if Mr Eleni makes it out alive and the Italians want to try again. Could be amusing as well as profitable.