So... yeah... damn...
Ok, so as most of you know, because I know most of you IRL, I've been Assistant Stage Managing the Delta Xi Cast of Alpha Psi Omega's Fall show "Arcadia" by Tom Stoppard. It's pretty much eaten my life since early August, because the Stage Managers has to be there for every. Single. Rehearsal. But I'm not bitter... nope nope... it was actually fun. There were a few times when I felt one of the adult cast members wasn't taking Bisco and I seriously as stage managers, but her attitude improved in time and I hold nothing against her.
On the other hand, we did have a COLOSSAL problem with one particular young cast member. I'm not going to name names, but if you were involved then you can probably figure out who I'm talking about... in fact, if you were involved, then you probably already know who I'm talking about since you probably didn't fail to miss the issues we were having with her.
It started about midway thru the rehearsal cycle... one night she calls in ill... ok, except that her Stepfather, who's also in the show, doesn't turn up either, so we're down two instead of one. Not cool... but not anything to make a deal out of if it's just gonna happen that once.
Then they called in an "unexpected conflict" which was a little bit more of a problem.
Then they called in car trouble. The director really wanted them there, so he called back and left a voice mail offering them a ride. No reply.
Needless to say the director was not happy. By this time, the rest of the cast is starting to notice that these two have a tendency to skip rehearsals far more frequently than is really acceptable, and we're catching resentment off this for not doing something about it.
Then we find out, thru the Comunity Theater grapevine, and the actress in question slipping up with regard to missing the night that the costumer was taking measurements, saying it wasn't a big deal because our costumer should have her measurements already from "the other show" we discover that, she's in another show, and had informed neither director that she's in both shows.
As it turns out she's been faking these illnesses, conflicts and car troubles to go to rehearsals for the other show. One presumes she was doing the same to them on the nights she actually turned up to our rehearsals.
Now, two shows at once isn't unnaceptable, but not telling either director about your conflicting show? Well... this is something you DO NOT DO. I know other directors who would have dropped her like a hot potato at that moment, simply on principal, but this particular director didn't want to sacrifice show quality just to punish a WAY out of line actor. This was his decision and one has to respect that.
Of course, she doesn't know we know, so... suddenly she has a "family dinner" that they can't miss. This was my night alone running things, and just before rehersal I shot off an e-mail via my smartphone to the director confirming what he wanted me to run with them that night. It ended with "Are there any further instructions you have for me?"
I never got a reply, so I just ran the expected line-thru and read from my script for our two AWOL actors.
The next morning I get an e-mail back in reply to the one I sent asking if there were any further instructions, and received in reply (paraphrased): "Yes, don't call actors up at home to rip them a new one without consulting with me, as you apparently did to [problem actress's name.]" Her mom was apparently up in arms over a voice mail left on her daughter's cell phone, supposedly by me, which upset her.
Well, since I hadn't called her, I was needless to say flustered and concerned for about 2 hours trying to figure out who in the hell had called her and ripped her a new one that could have been mistaken for me, because I certainly didn't do that, and if I had I'd have been SO out of line doing it, as that's a job for the Director or the Stage Manager, not for the ASM, at least not without permission from either of the above.
So as it transpires, no one on the production staff left a message with her, but, in responce to the e-mail that was sent saying she wasn't coming, Bisco called them and inquired if they can please come, because they've missed a lot of rehearsals already. That was the only call she received. We can only suppose this is what "upset" her.
Tech Sunday came and went. Monday of tech week her father e-mailed that they won't be making rehearsal. No explanation. We assume she's gone to rehearsal for the other show again and get steamed. Then I find out, from a mutual acquaintance who happens to be friends with her on Facebook, that she's updated her status as having rocked out at the Weezer concert that night. *Headdesk.* So she skipped out on a tech week rehersal to go to a concert, and once again her family lied for her.
Tuesday of tech week comes and goes, with the full cast in attendance.
Wednesday of Tech week her mom shows up in the dressing room. Apparently our little problem actress, didn't like the way her hair was done on Tuesday. "We're doing something different tonight," her mother announced to the hair/makeup co-coordinator, and proceeded to do her daughter's hair in an anachronistic style while poor hair and makeup tries to explain that they didn't have headbands in 1809 and the braids are completely not period.
Thursday was dark night. From what I hear, Hair and Makeup and Problem Actress's Mummy engaged in a long Facebook conversation the upshot of which is no, mom will not compromise on the hair that she thinks she should have, and hair and makeup is not allowed to try and do any other style, nor discuss it with her Problem Actress as this may "upset" her again. Also any further discussion is to be had with the stepfather. Hair and Makeup made it clear mom was not welcome in the dressing room, and then blocked her off her Facebook page.
So after a discussion with the director, the upshot of which, is that Hair and Makeup is within her bounds to insist that the cast have their hair done as she designed it, but that Hair and Makeup has no desire to get into a fistfight with mom over this, it's decided that mom will be evicted from the building, by security if necessary, if she attempts to enter the dressing room.
Mom, however, having heeded Hair and Makeup's e-mail does not show. Instead, she taught Problem Actress how to do her own hair in the out of period style she designed. Hair and Makeup is not pleased, but of course as stated above doesn't like confrontation without backup. Because the Bisco was not present before curtain opening night (SO stuff with the Freshies) she recruited me to be her "muscle." We took the step father aside, and attempted to explain to him that she needed to let Hair and Makeup do her job.
He says if we want Problem Actress to "do HER job and be [her role] tonight" then we had better not upset her. They're always using that word. "Upset." I point out that part of her job, as an actress is not only to say the lines and do the blocking, but to wear the Costume and Hair and Makeup that were designed by the people who's job it is to do that. Everyone else in the cast is doing this. That's just how theater works. He again protested that she cannot be the character if anything were done to upset her. I told him that part of being the character is wearing the hair. This is non-negotiable.
I am 5 foot 1. He is about 6 foot tall. He puffs himself up big, steps forward and attempts to look intimidating whilst saying that "Now listen. I understand you're trying to do your job, but you tech people don't understand what it's like to be an actress-" he was going to say more, I presume, about the delicacy of actors and their sensibilities, but I stepped forward to HIM looked up to him in the eye and said "I AM an actress." Which as we all well know is true. He stepped back and repeated that she could not be "upset" or she would not go on, and that Hair and Makeup was not to touch one hair on her special snowflake head.
"So what you are saying is that you two are going to walk if we try and do her hair?" I asked.
"That is what I'm saying," he replied, with a self satisfied smirk.
"Understand there will be repercussions," I tried, in a last ditch effort to make him comply.
"What are you going to do to us? It's opening night! You can't do anything!" he grinned.
"I don't know. I'll take it to my higher ups," I replied, still defiant, but inside... well I knew he'd won that battle. The truth was I wasn't in a position to tell him to go ahead and walk. If I had been, I would have, but I knew this director wasn't going to back that particular play.
So they went on, and at intermission, Problem Actress was bleating for someone to do her hair for Act Two, but since all her fellow actresses had been made aware that they were not to do this, she was left high and dry. The Director came in and talked to the stepfather, and having obtained permission, finally, to do so, then to the Problem Actress herself, and Hair and Makeup was at last allowed to do her job. For the remainder of Opening Weekend, Problem Actress did her own hair for Act 1 and allowed Hair and Makeup to do her job for Act 2.
Midweeks (Brush Up Rehearsal.) They e-mailed in with no explanation at all just "We won't be there. See you all Friday!"
Because we like to mess around during midweeks anyhow, I went on as both of them, using a wig to be Problem Actress and my own hair slicked back to be Problem Stepdad, running back and forth across the stage. It was actually great fun. The rest of the cast, who were sick to death of them not showing up for rehearsal, enjoyed the caricatures of them I played, and also the slapstick involved in running back and forth across the stage to be both of them in Act 1 Scene 1.
Then, on closing weekend, they had the gall to stay for the cast party like they hadn't shit all over the production staff and their fellow cast mates by skipping out un-excused from so many rehearsals. Had I been either of them I would have been so ashamed as to sneak out during strike and never EVER show my face in the RPI Playhouse again.
I was over at the snack table talking to the mother of one of the youngest member of our cast who we'll call "Beckster Honda" since this is a public blog, and who later on in the night was totally in the hiz-ous doing the Soldier Boy dance up on stage. Right so I was over at the snack table having some veggies and dip and chating to "Mrs. Honda." When Problem Actress comes up to the table and remarks: "It's weird how everyone's dancing all in one circle in there!"
Of course that happens at pretty much all our parties, so I was like... "Well, yeah. Why not? We're all one big happy family really. We love each other, and respect each other. We show our love dancing together in one big circle so no one's left out, and our respect by showing up to our rehearsals instead of going to a Weezer concert... and by letting Hair and Makeup do her job." Then I popped a piece of broccoli in my mouth and went back to the dance floor. Oddly... when I came back for food two songs later, she was gone. I guess I "upset" her.
Oh well.
Someday she'll learn how to cope with being upset, or she'll have to stop doing theater, because no one's going to tolerate that out of a grown woman. Theater is Blood, Sweat and Tears, and it doesn't matter what's happened, the show must go on. I've seen the Tin-Man go on in a costume that's cutting into the backs of his knees. I've seen Aldonza go back on after getting whipped for REAL by accident during "Little Bird." I've seen Fruma Sarah get into a car wreck on the way to the theater and still go on. I've seen actresses stuff broken toes into stiletto heels and go back on for 3 more nights. I've seen girls get dumped at half hour and go on anyway. If being "upset" is going to keep you off the stage... you're not fit to be there.
8^/
On the other hand, we did have a COLOSSAL problem with one particular young cast member. I'm not going to name names, but if you were involved then you can probably figure out who I'm talking about... in fact, if you were involved, then you probably already know who I'm talking about since you probably didn't fail to miss the issues we were having with her.
It started about midway thru the rehearsal cycle... one night she calls in ill... ok, except that her Stepfather, who's also in the show, doesn't turn up either, so we're down two instead of one. Not cool... but not anything to make a deal out of if it's just gonna happen that once.
Then they called in an "unexpected conflict" which was a little bit more of a problem.
Then they called in car trouble. The director really wanted them there, so he called back and left a voice mail offering them a ride. No reply.
Needless to say the director was not happy. By this time, the rest of the cast is starting to notice that these two have a tendency to skip rehearsals far more frequently than is really acceptable, and we're catching resentment off this for not doing something about it.
Then we find out, thru the Comunity Theater grapevine, and the actress in question slipping up with regard to missing the night that the costumer was taking measurements, saying it wasn't a big deal because our costumer should have her measurements already from "the other show" we discover that, she's in another show, and had informed neither director that she's in both shows.
As it turns out she's been faking these illnesses, conflicts and car troubles to go to rehearsals for the other show. One presumes she was doing the same to them on the nights she actually turned up to our rehearsals.
Now, two shows at once isn't unnaceptable, but not telling either director about your conflicting show? Well... this is something you DO NOT DO. I know other directors who would have dropped her like a hot potato at that moment, simply on principal, but this particular director didn't want to sacrifice show quality just to punish a WAY out of line actor. This was his decision and one has to respect that.
Of course, she doesn't know we know, so... suddenly she has a "family dinner" that they can't miss. This was my night alone running things, and just before rehersal I shot off an e-mail via my smartphone to the director confirming what he wanted me to run with them that night. It ended with "Are there any further instructions you have for me?"
I never got a reply, so I just ran the expected line-thru and read from my script for our two AWOL actors.
The next morning I get an e-mail back in reply to the one I sent asking if there were any further instructions, and received in reply (paraphrased): "Yes, don't call actors up at home to rip them a new one without consulting with me, as you apparently did to [problem actress's name.]" Her mom was apparently up in arms over a voice mail left on her daughter's cell phone, supposedly by me, which upset her.
Well, since I hadn't called her, I was needless to say flustered and concerned for about 2 hours trying to figure out who in the hell had called her and ripped her a new one that could have been mistaken for me, because I certainly didn't do that, and if I had I'd have been SO out of line doing it, as that's a job for the Director or the Stage Manager, not for the ASM, at least not without permission from either of the above.
So as it transpires, no one on the production staff left a message with her, but, in responce to the e-mail that was sent saying she wasn't coming, Bisco called them and inquired if they can please come, because they've missed a lot of rehearsals already. That was the only call she received. We can only suppose this is what "upset" her.
Tech Sunday came and went. Monday of tech week her father e-mailed that they won't be making rehearsal. No explanation. We assume she's gone to rehearsal for the other show again and get steamed. Then I find out, from a mutual acquaintance who happens to be friends with her on Facebook, that she's updated her status as having rocked out at the Weezer concert that night. *Headdesk.* So she skipped out on a tech week rehersal to go to a concert, and once again her family lied for her.
Tuesday of tech week comes and goes, with the full cast in attendance.
Wednesday of Tech week her mom shows up in the dressing room. Apparently our little problem actress, didn't like the way her hair was done on Tuesday. "We're doing something different tonight," her mother announced to the hair/makeup co-coordinator, and proceeded to do her daughter's hair in an anachronistic style while poor hair and makeup tries to explain that they didn't have headbands in 1809 and the braids are completely not period.
Thursday was dark night. From what I hear, Hair and Makeup and Problem Actress's Mummy engaged in a long Facebook conversation the upshot of which is no, mom will not compromise on the hair that she thinks she should have, and hair and makeup is not allowed to try and do any other style, nor discuss it with her Problem Actress as this may "upset" her again. Also any further discussion is to be had with the stepfather. Hair and Makeup made it clear mom was not welcome in the dressing room, and then blocked her off her Facebook page.
So after a discussion with the director, the upshot of which, is that Hair and Makeup is within her bounds to insist that the cast have their hair done as she designed it, but that Hair and Makeup has no desire to get into a fistfight with mom over this, it's decided that mom will be evicted from the building, by security if necessary, if she attempts to enter the dressing room.
Mom, however, having heeded Hair and Makeup's e-mail does not show. Instead, she taught Problem Actress how to do her own hair in the out of period style she designed. Hair and Makeup is not pleased, but of course as stated above doesn't like confrontation without backup. Because the Bisco was not present before curtain opening night (SO stuff with the Freshies) she recruited me to be her "muscle." We took the step father aside, and attempted to explain to him that she needed to let Hair and Makeup do her job.
He says if we want Problem Actress to "do HER job and be [her role] tonight" then we had better not upset her. They're always using that word. "Upset." I point out that part of her job, as an actress is not only to say the lines and do the blocking, but to wear the Costume and Hair and Makeup that were designed by the people who's job it is to do that. Everyone else in the cast is doing this. That's just how theater works. He again protested that she cannot be the character if anything were done to upset her. I told him that part of being the character is wearing the hair. This is non-negotiable.
I am 5 foot 1. He is about 6 foot tall. He puffs himself up big, steps forward and attempts to look intimidating whilst saying that "Now listen. I understand you're trying to do your job, but you tech people don't understand what it's like to be an actress-" he was going to say more, I presume, about the delicacy of actors and their sensibilities, but I stepped forward to HIM looked up to him in the eye and said "I AM an actress." Which as we all well know is true. He stepped back and repeated that she could not be "upset" or she would not go on, and that Hair and Makeup was not to touch one hair on her special snowflake head.
"So what you are saying is that you two are going to walk if we try and do her hair?" I asked.
"That is what I'm saying," he replied, with a self satisfied smirk.
"Understand there will be repercussions," I tried, in a last ditch effort to make him comply.
"What are you going to do to us? It's opening night! You can't do anything!" he grinned.
"I don't know. I'll take it to my higher ups," I replied, still defiant, but inside... well I knew he'd won that battle. The truth was I wasn't in a position to tell him to go ahead and walk. If I had been, I would have, but I knew this director wasn't going to back that particular play.
So they went on, and at intermission, Problem Actress was bleating for someone to do her hair for Act Two, but since all her fellow actresses had been made aware that they were not to do this, she was left high and dry. The Director came in and talked to the stepfather, and having obtained permission, finally, to do so, then to the Problem Actress herself, and Hair and Makeup was at last allowed to do her job. For the remainder of Opening Weekend, Problem Actress did her own hair for Act 1 and allowed Hair and Makeup to do her job for Act 2.
Midweeks (Brush Up Rehearsal.) They e-mailed in with no explanation at all just "We won't be there. See you all Friday!"
Because we like to mess around during midweeks anyhow, I went on as both of them, using a wig to be Problem Actress and my own hair slicked back to be Problem Stepdad, running back and forth across the stage. It was actually great fun. The rest of the cast, who were sick to death of them not showing up for rehearsal, enjoyed the caricatures of them I played, and also the slapstick involved in running back and forth across the stage to be both of them in Act 1 Scene 1.
Then, on closing weekend, they had the gall to stay for the cast party like they hadn't shit all over the production staff and their fellow cast mates by skipping out un-excused from so many rehearsals. Had I been either of them I would have been so ashamed as to sneak out during strike and never EVER show my face in the RPI Playhouse again.
I was over at the snack table talking to the mother of one of the youngest member of our cast who we'll call "Beckster Honda" since this is a public blog, and who later on in the night was totally in the hiz-ous doing the Soldier Boy dance up on stage. Right so I was over at the snack table having some veggies and dip and chating to "Mrs. Honda." When Problem Actress comes up to the table and remarks: "It's weird how everyone's dancing all in one circle in there!"
Of course that happens at pretty much all our parties, so I was like... "Well, yeah. Why not? We're all one big happy family really. We love each other, and respect each other. We show our love dancing together in one big circle so no one's left out, and our respect by showing up to our rehearsals instead of going to a Weezer concert... and by letting Hair and Makeup do her job." Then I popped a piece of broccoli in my mouth and went back to the dance floor. Oddly... when I came back for food two songs later, she was gone. I guess I "upset" her.
Oh well.
Someday she'll learn how to cope with being upset, or she'll have to stop doing theater, because no one's going to tolerate that out of a grown woman. Theater is Blood, Sweat and Tears, and it doesn't matter what's happened, the show must go on. I've seen the Tin-Man go on in a costume that's cutting into the backs of his knees. I've seen Aldonza go back on after getting whipped for REAL by accident during "Little Bird." I've seen Fruma Sarah get into a car wreck on the way to the theater and still go on. I've seen actresses stuff broken toes into stiletto heels and go back on for 3 more nights. I've seen girls get dumped at half hour and go on anyway. If being "upset" is going to keep you off the stage... you're not fit to be there.
8^/