Two Open Letter Rants...
Dear Cube Neighbor,
I’m sorry I interrupted your personal call with something as absurd as, oh… WORK. You know… since you’re the one who was supposed to have coordinated the meeting that fell thru, I thought you might want to know about it. I listened in on your convo for a good 60 seconds… before I interrupted you. It wasn’t a fracking emergency. It was a chit chat call, so don’t get all miffed at me when after 10 minutes of waiting, I have to interrupt so my whole day doesn’t get backlogged. You complain an awful lot about the amount of work you have, but you seem to have plenty of fracking time to make personal calls and surf the web.
By the way, the reason I get “all the fun stuff” is because I’m better at it than you are. Yes… you have a degree. An Associates Degree, from Frigging ITT Tech. I have 3 and 1/2 years towards my Bachelors at RPI, and I know that the font tag is no longer the proper way to format text… yes… I know you make more than I do, and yes, I know you’ve got a higher position, but a) you’re outside my chain of command, so I don’t answer to you, and b) it doesn’t matter WHAT they taught you when you were in school, because there’s this funny thing about internet languages. THEY EVOLVE. So don’t get on my case for using different tags that you don’t know.
You’re mental, you know that?
Sincerely,
Mayo
Dear Across the Hall Neighbor,
This is a Non-Smoking Building. No… really. Remember that paper you signed when you signed up for your room? That said you promise not to smoke in the building. The entire rest of the Quad is Smoking. You could have gone to any of those other buildings. THIS Stack is NON-SMOKING. So please. KNOCK IT OFF OVER THERE. IT wafts right into the hall and under my door, not to mention that it’s going to get into the carpet overthere and the next poor sap who thinks he’s in a non-smoking building is going to get stuck with your stench.
And it’s still smoking in the room, even if you put the ashtray on the windowsill.
No… really… it is.
Even if you put your head out the window to smoke.
The wind blows it in.
No Smoking… means NO SMOKING.
Sincerely,
Mayo
8^S