Feb 21, 2004 09:40
It's funny when you don't feel like you fit in your own skin. When everything around you seems like its twirling. Life's daily tasks aren't complicated and they aren't boring either, yet you seem to find no interest in them. A loss of your own identity? Or a loss of the ability to control your own life.
I mean, if the earth was falling, would you fall with it? Maybe you'd fight against it. You wish you could jump on top of it and help it through its' descent, because it would be a mutual relationship. You help the world, while the world gives you the chance to be on top of it, a place where no one can touch you.
Something seems so strange these days. It seems as if people are moving on not knowing what they are doing or where they are going and if they do they then don't have a clue as why they are doing such things. Isn't this normal, yeah, but they have no will to find out. Half of people's real questions of "Why?" are only a front? Maybe. Maybe it's because we only settle for the reply "Well, why not?". It's quite possible that a question is answered with a question not because we don't know the answer but just because we are afraid of it. Not knowing the truth of yourself may be easier but also will never put you ahead of the game. Never on top of the game. I guess it will just keep you wondering, and not wandering too. Or maybe it's the other way around.
Who knows. Why bother anyone else with your troubles, when you can keep them inside and just figure them out for yourself.
Things constantly change whether you're aware of them or not. Putting up a front to hide those changes until you're comfortable with them, maybe is sometimes necessary for sake of survival.