So dead tired

[maymay03]

So last night I am on my way home and I figured that I would call noah and see what he is up too. Well I ask him he goes I have been working 16 hour days and I have been seeing this girl. I star to laugh he goes what are you laugh at I tell him I dont want to tell him because he would just get mad. So I tell him I made a bet that either he would have a new girlfriend or dating some one else just one to two weeks after us breaking up. Granted last night was a week. LOL Well I tell him that I really didnt want to break up with him, I mean hell I loved the guy. I have since february, so I tell him that and he like ya you did or you wouldnt have done it. He was going to do it to me I said admitt it you were going to dump me. you probabluy just didnt think I had the balls to do it. HE tells me that honestly he didnt think I would do it. Well I dont know why I would I have biggger balls that him lol!!! So he gets all piss and I get off the phone well I send him a text telling him no I really didnt want to and he goes "well I dont know what to say meagan you need to you your life together before you have a relationship" thats it I was pissed off. SO I call him and he doenst answer and I call as a private number doenst answer he sends me a text that tells me to grow up. I left him a nasty voice mail telling him he needs to learn how to keep that small pathetic thing in his pants and that he is nothing that I want anymore and blah blah pretty much I hit him where it hurt. I am so done with him. UGH why cant I find a real man??? I am so sick of being used and minipulated by guys, I mean I have never had so much drama in my whole life. I am a very low key person and I hate it, I dont like to argue and I dont like to have a bunch of shit going on in my life all the time. It sucks I just want to go along and be happy thats it thats all I freaking want and that is not too much to ask. I am now working on making that happen and I am workign my ass off to become a RN in the US navy. I am going to do very well and I know it I am doing this for me to better myself to make myself more independent and stronger. I went to PT this morning and I ran a mile and a half in about 15 mins. I have to do that at MEPS in 14 mins. I am sure I would have made it had I known I was being timed. They didnt tell me so I just took it easy and ran. I have been running three miles a day and doing all kinds of sit ups and crunches, and push ups and A counts which if you know what they are totally suck. I have been working so hard at this and I have come to far to give up on it. About guys the right one will come along sooner or later. Which ever, I think of it this way I am going to be in the navy only 10% of the navy is female. I think I have a good shot at least having a good time. I think I am going to be leaving for MEPS in September. Well I think I should go home I am going to clean and wash my car.

Love ya all,

Meagan