FUUUUUCK!
I'm scared to voice the words in my heart. I know this e=is something that all people deal with, but I just have so much trouble with it. I can write the words. Only one person knows what is in my heart and that person just found out last night when he was high (not a great time I'm sure). I'm scared that I will lose something. Something so precious. If that did happen though, I would wait. I can be so patient. Somethings though, I want to make them disappear. Problems at school, with family and friends. Just. Fuck. Things get tough, but i know I can deal. Fuck. I could deal with death when I was 7, and that was my father. Please let this blog work. I will be pissed because it will have been the 5th time I would have had to write this. I really don't want to have to restart AGAIN. Like they say. Patience is a virtue. On a happier note. I'm going to a friends house on Friday. Her parents are out of town and she doesn't want to be alone in her house (its fucking huge and realy dark at night) so she asked me if I wanted to come over. I said yes right away. I love getting away from my family and school all at once. I know I can't drop either, but I want to drop out of school and run away. Just go where ever and just make my own way. I know I can because I am such a smart ass (not in a good way). I'm not crazy enough to do that though. I hate it when I have to be forced to so many things that I hate. School is evil. If i could, I would just be so smart, they would graduate me (that would be awesome!) and I wouldn't ever have to deal with school again! Fat chance. HAHA! Ugh. BCIS is really boring. This school is so damn big.