Happy Happy-Joy Joy-Happy Happy-Joy Joy
down to 115. Want to be thinner. Wantt o be Stronger. Want to have it all. Long thick hair, fabulous clothes, a great purse, and a thin frame.
A thin Frame, however, is what is needed to pull together the whole new look. Without it, you can go ahead and fuck the purse, new dress, and hair..it doesnt go well with fat. sorry.
But its okay. I am getting better, but at the same time making myself sick..or so I feel..I am not sure.
I got a bunch of cute things at a vintage thrift store I came across today..along with new hair extensions b/c I felt ugly. and now my hair looks adorable..but my feeling does not follow. I am fat still..I tried on my adorable swim suit..feelings as if I could be close to ready to wear it..until I noticed that losing 5 lbs has done nothing..and I am still disturbenly overweight..and unattractive b/c of it..
But I will lose all the weight. I promise girls..I will...I really will...?? ugh...another day.
My father took me out to eat tonight..I made trips to the bathroom to throw up my first plate of food (fuck buffets) and my second..finally making my way to the dessert aisle..and then throwing that up..
Before that I had a bag of bullshit candy..but none came up when I tried* to purge it..damn. That ruins my whole day.
But i want to be ana now..Its been such a drag lately to throw my food up..and after about a year of doing so nothing has changed..its almost as if I either maintain my weight as is, or lose no more than 3-5 lbs. Can anyone help me with switching to ana..it seems so much more fabulous..with more wonderful results...or so it seems. I suck.
Urg. Rough, but totally fun weekend visting friends in Columbia..I was drunk the whole time and only binge ate one the nights..I consumed around 400 cals. coming back to the dorms , but it was only one night..so its okay right? I wanted to die when I woke up, I WAS SO PISSED AT MYSELF for eating the night before. and no..its not alright..not anymore..and not ever...
Must be beautiful...and beautiful is pain..and pain is thin. and thin is beautiful...
Love ya all and hope you fabulous women are doing absolutely fantastic!! have a good Spring Break !
I'll write soon...when I am weak and need your help with putting the damn cookie down..
Oh, I got a new cell phone today! holla!
WiNk;
L.
A thin Frame, however, is what is needed to pull together the whole new look. Without it, you can go ahead and fuck the purse, new dress, and hair..it doesnt go well with fat. sorry.
But its okay. I am getting better, but at the same time making myself sick..or so I feel..I am not sure.
I got a bunch of cute things at a vintage thrift store I came across today..along with new hair extensions b/c I felt ugly. and now my hair looks adorable..but my feeling does not follow. I am fat still..I tried on my adorable swim suit..feelings as if I could be close to ready to wear it..until I noticed that losing 5 lbs has done nothing..and I am still disturbenly overweight..and unattractive b/c of it..
But I will lose all the weight. I promise girls..I will...I really will...?? ugh...another day.
My father took me out to eat tonight..I made trips to the bathroom to throw up my first plate of food (fuck buffets) and my second..finally making my way to the dessert aisle..and then throwing that up..
Before that I had a bag of bullshit candy..but none came up when I tried* to purge it..damn. That ruins my whole day.
But i want to be ana now..Its been such a drag lately to throw my food up..and after about a year of doing so nothing has changed..its almost as if I either maintain my weight as is, or lose no more than 3-5 lbs. Can anyone help me with switching to ana..it seems so much more fabulous..with more wonderful results...or so it seems. I suck.
Urg. Rough, but totally fun weekend visting friends in Columbia..I was drunk the whole time and only binge ate one the nights..I consumed around 400 cals. coming back to the dorms , but it was only one night..so its okay right? I wanted to die when I woke up, I WAS SO PISSED AT MYSELF for eating the night before. and no..its not alright..not anymore..and not ever...
Must be beautiful...and beautiful is pain..and pain is thin. and thin is beautiful...
Love ya all and hope you fabulous women are doing absolutely fantastic!! have a good Spring Break !
I'll write soon...when I am weak and need your help with putting the damn cookie down..
Oh, I got a new cell phone today! holla!
WiNk;
L.