Tips from Mayghan - A Blurb about Relationships and Sex

[mayghanspassion]

With how far our civilization has advanced, you would think we would be comfortable talking about the most natural thing in the world: sex. Yet despite our numerous advances, it is still such a taboo topic among most people. Sure, they do it, but most never talk about it. So what about those couples where sex in the bedroom is a bit lacking, and they have difficulty talking about it? Everyone has to start somewhere, and here are a few steps to start making that sex life better and not have it be taboo if you mention the word.

1. You must talk about the situation. As difficult as this may be, it must be your first step. Communication is key in every relationship, and communications transcends into the bedroom as well. If you don't talk about it, how will you ever solve the problem?

• Start out small. Mention that you have been missing your partner. Try to get them to say "Why?" or "What do you mean?"  or something to that affect. When they ask that question, you can explain that you miss being close with them, you want to reconnect. Something that simple can open the door to a much larger conversation into whats been going on between the two of you.
• Don't be defensive, aggressive or bitter during the conversation. If you feel that way, do everything in your power to not sound like it. There is nothing wrong with saying that you feel hurt. But if you sound like one of those three things, your partner will become the same in turn. If this happens, you will make no progress. Keep things honest, but without raising your guard up, and making them raise theirs.
• Don't blame everything on your partner. If you do so, they will get defensive and attack you in turn. By accepting part of the responsibility, you are showing that you realize you are part of the problem too and your partner will respond much better. No one likes being told its all their fault. Put yourself in their shoes. Would you like to be told its all your fault and its your job to make it better? What about if the person accepted that they know its their fault too, and they want to work on it together. Would you respond better?
• If things get stressful or frustrating, take a 15 minute break. Sometimes talking out a problem can get frustrating. Especially if you can't seem to find common ground, a solution, or a compromise. Taking a step back from the situation and taking a few minutes to breathe can make a big difference. You calm down, you can take a step back and look at things a bit more logically.
• If you don't solve the problem right away by talking, don't get discouraged. Many people will try something and if it doesn't work the first time, they are convinced it won't ever work. Sure, you may not solve all your problems right away, but you've taken a step in the right direction. Look back on the conversation you had, and find the positives in it. Did you start the talk to make things better? Did you try to not get defensive? Did you discover some thing about your partner or yourself? Did you make a little bit of progress? Etc... You get the idea. Never feel like it didn't work, because the fact that you had the conversation in the first place, shows that you made progress.

I think thats enough for today. Step 2 will follow soon. In Step 2 we will be talking about things to do in the bedroom to help solve the lack of sex problem. Thanks for reading!