1st Donut
What the… Oh man. That’s the last time I fall asleep on a truck like that. I must’ve hit my head really hard or something.
[Shuffling sounds, as the speaker gets to his feet, prowling around the room as he continues talking to himself.] Or I’ve been taken hostage by crazed bounty hunters from beyond!
[Silence. As he chews this over for a moment... or several. And then he yelps, talking almost hilariously fast.]
YOU’VE GOT THE WRONG MAN! I’M NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM! AHAHAHAH, REALLY! I SWEAR! I’VE NEVER SEEN HIM BEFORE IN MY LIFE!
You see, I’m really Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gumbigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andry Charton-Haymoss Ivanovicci Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III! No relation to that guy at all! He’s a horrible scary man with a thirst for the blood of virgins and innocent puppies. Definitely not me, nope-ahahahah! I’m just a hapless wandering drifter looking for the true meaning of love!
[He pauses for breath, panting, gasping, and then whines.]
So… can I go now? Please? I’ve got a real pressing engagement with my doctor about uh… A HORRIBLE GAPING HEADWOUND OW. OH OW.
C-come on. This isn’t funny.
[Shuffling sounds, as the speaker gets to his feet, prowling around the room as he continues talking to himself.] Or I’ve been taken hostage by crazed bounty hunters from beyond!
[Silence. As he chews this over for a moment... or several. And then he yelps, talking almost hilariously fast.]
YOU’VE GOT THE WRONG MAN! I’M NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM! AHAHAHAH, REALLY! I SWEAR! I’VE NEVER SEEN HIM BEFORE IN MY LIFE!
You see, I’m really Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gumbigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andry Charton-Haymoss Ivanovicci Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III! No relation to that guy at all! He’s a horrible scary man with a thirst for the blood of virgins and innocent puppies. Definitely not me, nope-ahahahah! I’m just a hapless wandering drifter looking for the true meaning of love!
[He pauses for breath, panting, gasping, and then whines.]
So… can I go now? Please? I’ve got a real pressing engagement with my doctor about uh… A HORRIBLE GAPING HEADWOUND OW. OH OW.
C-come on. This isn’t funny.