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Comments 421

laughedatbygod December 16 2010, 04:09:15 UTC
Dear Santa Claus,

I am unfamiliar with American holiday traditions, but I have heard that it is customary to write a letter to you requesting gifts for the holiday season. If it is within your power to grant it, please bring a new quill pen and inkwell for my use in composing my latest opera, as well as a tray full of nipples of Venus.

Sincerely yours,
Antonio Salieri

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mayfield_mods December 25 2010, 05:12:17 UTC
Dear Salieri,

You really should be careful what you wish for, my boy.

Merry Christmas,
Santa

Salieri will receive a bowl of severed breasts covered in the finest chocolate ganache.

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(The comment has been removed)

mayfield_mods December 25 2010, 05:11:17 UTC
Dear Abel,

You've been a very good boy this year! As promised, I've brought you your puppy.

Unfortunately there was a bit of an accident, but if you wish very hard, I'm sure your faithful canine companion will be good as new!

Merry Christmas,

Santa

Inside Abel's box is the corpse of a puppy; it appears to have been run over by a sleigh. No amount of Christmas wishes will bring it back to life.

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moemoetentacles December 16 2010, 04:10:21 UTC
[The following letter is scrawled messily in blue crayon.]

DEAR SANTA

PLEASE BRING ME LOTS OF SHRIMP AND LOBSTER

SQUID GIRL

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mayfield_mods December 25 2010, 05:13:09 UTC
Dear Squid Girl,

Seafood isn't a proper Christmas meal! But, I'm not one to judge, ho ho ho!

Merry Christmas,
Santa

Squid Girl will get a bucket of shrimp and lobster. They have human faces and scream in terror whenever they see her.

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noneed_2worry December 16 2010, 04:11:23 UTC
Dear Santa,

Please bring me my best friend, Piplup. He was my first Pokemon, and we've been through so much together. I really miss him, and I wish he was here with me.

Signed,
Dawn

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mayfield_mods December 25 2010, 05:12:22 UTC
Dear Dawn,

Ho ho ho, it wasn't easy catching the little guy! He seemed very reluctant to go back to you, but since you've been such a good girl, I made sure to punish little Piplup for wanting to run away from you.

Merry Christmas!

Love,

Santa

Inside Dawn's present is a Pokeball, which she can't seem to open. From within, she can hear the sound of a Piplup screaming in pain.

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perfektsymmetry December 16 2010, 04:12:25 UTC
Crowe's throwing in a letter. All it asks is for Mayfield to have some peace this holiday for a change so everyone can at least have one nice holiday. Please.

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mayfield_mods December 25 2010, 20:38:06 UTC

Dear Crowe,

Why, I'm not sure what you mean, my boy! EVERY Christmas in Mayfield is a peaceful one!

But just to be sure, I went ahead and took some extra measures to make sure. Merry Christmas!

Love,

Santa

Crowe's present is empty; for the duration of the event, he will be unable to see, hear, or otherwise sense the drones or fellow PCs. Rather, he will see their corpses littered everywhere. For the event's duration, Crowe will believe Mayfield is abandoned, and he is alone with nothing but dead bodies

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