[The Mailman is leaning against the wall reading some opened letters, and doesn't attempt to move. He slides a clipboard across the counter towards Thorfinn.]
Playing cops and robbers, sonny? Just sign right here on the dotted line!
[As soon as he signs, his three fingers will suddenly be missing, leaving his hand a bleeding mess.]
[Thorfinn, always one to roll with the punches, immediately shoves the wounded hand in his armpit and scrabbles for the knife with his right.] Y-You bastard, I'll gut you for this-!
[The Postman puts down the letter and grabs a new envelope out of his bag, taking out a long, sharp letter opener off the counter in order to tear open the side.
He takes the letter out, and, twirling the letter opener between his fingers, begins to read with great interest.]
Why don't you run along and enjoy your new toy, sonny? No good hanging around here!
[Via the subtle art of removing boxtops and ignoring the contents of the boxes, Askeladd will be regaining his ordinary broadsword, and losing his left eye as a result.]
You know, I have half a mind to send off for a prize like that!
Just sign your name here!
[As soon as he signs, the eye will be disappear, bleeding from the socket as though it had been ripped out. The Postman will just lean against the wall and admire the cool sword.[
Comments 746
I was promised my knife for this stupid task. Hand it over.
[Thorfinn will be regaining his combat knife, and will be losing three of the fingers on his left hand.]
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[The Mailman is leaning against the wall reading some opened letters, and doesn't attempt to move. He slides a clipboard across the counter towards Thorfinn.]
Playing cops and robbers, sonny? Just sign right here on the dotted line!
[As soon as he signs, his three fingers will suddenly be missing, leaving his hand a bleeding mess.]
Make sure to aim for the eyes!
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[Thorfinn, always one to roll with the punches, immediately shoves the wounded hand in his armpit and scrabbles for the knife with his right.] Y-You bastard, I'll gut you for this-!
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He takes the letter out, and, twirling the letter opener between his fingers, begins to read with great interest.]
Why don't you run along and enjoy your new toy, sonny? No good hanging around here!
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[pushing up fifty boxtops. He'll be losing memories of his first 13 years of life AKA almost all his human years.]
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Sure thing, kid! Just give me your x here on the line!
[The Postman slides over a clipboard. Once signed, the memories will vanish, leaving him briefly dizzy and confused.]
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[Signing and WHOA
just...stumbling out with a never before felt feeling.]
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Vince will be getting back his entire wardrobe in exchange for his memories of growing up in the jungle. Because suburbia is a lot less cool.
... Also y'all don't need to do any fancy IC stuff for me, I wouldn't want to impose. :D]
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I only got this much, so I'd like my baseball uniform, please!
[Specifically the Kokusen one, he'll be loosing most of his hair.]
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[He slides the clipboard over to sign; once signed, the hair will begin falling out.]
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[Yipee, he's gonna get his uniform. And all he has to do is sign the dot. Wait a sec...]
My hair! Wha- what did you do!?
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It's a good look for you, though.
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Just sign your name here!
[As soon as he signs, the eye will be disappear, bleeding from the socket as though it had been ripped out. The Postman will just lean against the wall and admire the cool sword.[
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