Roof | after consequences for sparing targets kicks inheadedforhopeMay 29 2011, 22:17:42 UTC
[The roof is an empty and lonely place to be, and in that sense it provides Mami with the bitter comfort of something familiar.
A life without parents, without friends, even without guaranteed safety.....As she looks out from the top of the church to the rest of Mayfield, Mami reflects that very little has changed since she arrived in this town. Her family is fake- assigned. They're together now more out of a mutual desire to survive than any extended bond of love. Her friends, both the genuine (Madoka) and the ones she can't yet allow closer (Nadeko, Taiwan, others), can't fight at her side for various reasons. Mami isn't the only one at the church, but in all the important ways she is alone.
And now the fear of meeting her end in that same separate, distant state is pressing in again. It's suffocating; an invisible pressure slowly bearing down like a foot against her throat. That particular wound is old, stemming from the brush with death that first served as the catalyst for her transformation into a magical girl, but it's never healed. And maybe it never will. Now, with her rifle held firmly in white-knuckled hands and gold eyes burning holes in the houses spread out below and beyond, the terror throbs in her mind.
Mami doesn't want to die. That wish, so loaded, births a sick temptation; hunt down Hilda, end her, and survive. It would be a quick and virtually painless death- and the girl would come back later, right? Just something to be done....just another price to pay for her own selfish breaths. Mami should be used to thoughts like that by now.
Maybe if this trauma-addled fear was fresh, Mami would give in. But it's not, and she doesn't. Just waits, poised to kill if necessary, on the church roof.]
A life without parents, without friends, even without guaranteed safety.....As she looks out from the top of the church to the rest of Mayfield, Mami reflects that very little has changed since she arrived in this town. Her family is fake- assigned. They're together now more out of a mutual desire to survive than any extended bond of love. Her friends, both the genuine (Madoka) and the ones she can't yet allow closer (Nadeko, Taiwan, others), can't fight at her side for various reasons. Mami isn't the only one at the church, but in all the important ways she is alone.
And now the fear of meeting her end in that same separate, distant state is pressing in again. It's suffocating; an invisible pressure slowly bearing down like a foot against her throat. That particular wound is old, stemming from the brush with death that first served as the catalyst for her transformation into a magical girl, but it's never healed. And maybe it never will. Now, with her rifle held firmly in white-knuckled hands and gold eyes burning holes in the houses spread out below and beyond, the terror throbs in her mind.
Mami doesn't want to die. That wish, so loaded, births a sick temptation; hunt down Hilda, end her, and survive. It would be a quick and virtually painless death- and the girl would come back later, right? Just something to be done....just another price to pay for her own selfish breaths. Mami should be used to thoughts like that by now.
Maybe if this trauma-addled fear was fresh, Mami would give in. But it's not, and she doesn't. Just waits, poised to kill if necessary, on the church roof.]
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