"It's a bird," Castiel answers proudly. He pets the aforementioned bird's head lovingly and it--a robin, Sam thinks--coos back at him.
"Yeah, but what's it doing in your coat pocket? And is that a nest?"
Castiel nods. "I was at a park yesterday and I suppose she mistook me for a tree--"
"How can anyone mistake an angel for a tree?"
"--so she began building a nest. Afterwards, she laid eggs--"
"You mean there are actually eggs in there?"
"--and I have made it my duty to protect the family since."
Dean shoots Sam a glance that just screams, What the fuckety fuck? "Cas," says Sam, trying to keep his voice as neutral as possible even though he really, really wants to laugh. "have you thought about putting the nest somewhere... safer?"
"There is virtually no place on Earth that's actually safe now, Sam."
Sam has to admit Castiel does have a point.
Dean groans, "Look, Cas, the thing is, you can't drag that nest around with you."
Castiel straightens to his full height and the look he gives Dean is actually kind of frightening. "I can and I will," he declares before disappearing in a flutter of wings.
After a moment of awkward silence, Sam shrugs. "I guess that's that."
*
True to his word, Castiel keeps the nest tucked securely in his coat pocket and brings it everywhere with him. Like that one time when they were driving to a hunt and had to stop at a gas station to refill and stretch their limbs (well, Dean and Sam did, anyway). It wasn't until after they'd gotten back in the car that they noticed Castiel had bought a bag of M&Ms while they were gone and was feeding a red one to the robin. "She likes them," he explained.
"Better not poop in the car," muttered Dean.
Then there was the time when they were doing research at a motel. The damn bird nearly gave Sam a heart attack when it suddenly broke the silence and started chirping a song that sounded suspiciously like "Ave Maria". Dean glared at both Castiel and the bird. "Cas, can you please shut that bird up before I do?"
Castiel gave him a withering glare. "You will do no such thing, Dean," he replied.
"Um, Cas?" Sam had asked later when the bird finally stopped singing. "Don't you think this is getting a bit... oh, I dunno, ridiculous?"
"More like a-fucking-lot," added Dean.
Castiel blinked at them. His face was the perfect picture of innocence. "What is?" he asked, tilting his head in confusion.
Sam could've sworn the bird was actually saying, "Hah! Sorry, bitches, but I'm here to stay," when it chirped triumphantly.
"It's a bird," Castiel answers proudly. He pets the aforementioned bird's head lovingly and it--a robin, Sam thinks--coos back at him.
"Yeah, but what's it doing in your coat pocket? And is that a nest?"
Castiel nods. "I was at a park yesterday and I suppose she mistook me for a tree--"
"How can anyone mistake an angel for a tree?"
"--so she began building a nest. Afterwards, she laid eggs--"
"You mean there are actually eggs in there?"
"--and I have made it my duty to protect the family since."
Dean shoots Sam a glance that just screams, What the fuckety fuck? "Cas," says Sam, trying to keep his voice as neutral as possible even though he really, really wants to laugh. "have you thought about putting the nest somewhere... safer?"
"There is virtually no place on Earth that's actually safe now, Sam."
Sam has to admit Castiel does have a point.
Dean groans, "Look, Cas, the thing is, you can't drag that nest around with you."
Castiel straightens to his full height and the look he gives Dean is actually kind of frightening. "I can and I will," he declares before disappearing in a flutter of wings.
After a moment of awkward silence, Sam shrugs. "I guess that's that."
*
True to his word, Castiel keeps the nest tucked securely in his coat pocket and brings it everywhere with him. Like that one time when they were driving to a hunt and had to stop at a gas station to refill and stretch their limbs (well, Dean and Sam did, anyway). It wasn't until after they'd gotten back in the car that they noticed Castiel had bought a bag of M&Ms while they were gone and was feeding a red one to the robin. "She likes them," he explained.
"Better not poop in the car," muttered Dean.
Then there was the time when they were doing research at a motel. The damn bird nearly gave Sam a heart attack when it suddenly broke the silence and started chirping a song that sounded suspiciously like "Ave Maria". Dean glared at both Castiel and the bird. "Cas, can you please shut that bird up before I do?"
Castiel gave him a withering glare. "You will do no such thing, Dean," he replied.
"Um, Cas?" Sam had asked later when the bird finally stopped singing. "Don't you think this is getting a bit... oh, I dunno, ridiculous?"
"More like a-fucking-lot," added Dean.
Castiel blinked at them. His face was the perfect picture of innocence. "What is?" he asked, tilting his head in confusion.
Sam could've sworn the bird was actually saying, "Hah! Sorry, bitches, but I'm here to stay," when it chirped triumphantly.
Reply
Leave a comment